Rudolph Gets the Job

Twas on the eve of Christmas and St Nick was feeling glum because his leading reindeer had some problems with his tum. With Dasher feeling poorly, Santa wondered what to do, he needed to leave Toyland soon, but Dasher couldn’t leave the loo. Shouting through the bathroom door, he reasoned with his deer friend, “I really need your expertise. Here, have a cork for your rear end” Declining Santa’s offer, Dasher said “I’d better not, I fear, if I use your cork idea, you’ll end up getting shot” Desperate, Santa called a meeting at the Reindeer Village Hall, he told them of poor Dasher’s plight and pleaded with them all. “I really need a volunteer to guide me through the skies” but the cervines shuffled all their feet, avoiding Santa’s eyes. They couldn’t do the job you see, it took a special skill, one that ‘blue-eyed’ Dasher had, ‘til his colitis made him ill. He’d always been the ‘nerdy one’ who learned to lead way, and daily, while he swotted hard, the others would just play. Old Santa was now in a fix, it was time to make a stand, “Last one to leave the village hall WILL lead this useless band!” What followed was a melee, the likes of which you’ve never seen, a great stampede to be the first out on the village green. Young Rudolph glanced around, a hidden exit he had spotted, excitedly, on tippy toes, to his escape he trotted. But he couldn’t keep a level head, as hard as he had tried, and in his haste to slam the door he trapped his nose inside. The door was well and truly stuck. Rudolph realised with dismay, he was technically the last to leave & would have to guide the sleigh. The others had now gathered round, they laughed and danced with glee, Rudolph’s grave misfortune meant that they’d get off scot free. A carpenter was duly called, the slammer taken off its hinges, at last relieving Rudolph’s nose, and the others from his whinges. Instantly, upon release, his hooter it did grow and with each throbbing pain, his nose emitted a red glow. Blazing brightly like a beacon, it shone over all Toyland Santa grinned and said “That should improve the task at hand” He told the reindeer of his plans as he buckled up their straps, “With the luminance from Rudi’s nose I can clearly read my maps” So Rudolph and his rosy snout led Santa through the dark and as an added bonus they could see just where to park. The toys were all delivered to the children as they slept But when Santa said “same time next year” Rudolph held his nose and wept. **December 2008