Long Fum Poems

Increase In Head Size

impossible mission to encapsulate notion 
flitting hither and yon, to and fro
within cranium attached to mine body,
whereby irrefutable proof prevails
predicated when yours truly
scrutinizes other people visibly aware,
I a modest married male 
blessed,...

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take it to the beat watch us meet to greet fooling in the street
tripping on the beach smoking fat leaves doing what you please
as busy as a bee making sweet history
there's a battle for your...

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Despite countless factorial permutations
& combinations, this cyber surfer avails two alms
seeking succor asper Somerset Maugham.

Mom mee whiz able to sic cure human bondage,
boot metastatic carcinoma snatched such balms
when tethered in utero umbilical connection,
etched bromide, which...

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Loving my refurbished fifteen inch mid 2015 Macbook Pro

A lightning fast machine
purchased three days ago
now comfortably nestling with
said technological wonder,
where outside a cold wind howls
measuring windchill factor of five below
allowing, enabling and providing me
an opportunity...

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Apple of my eye darling daughter numero deux gifted me...

Twenty four years ago –
February 4th, 2023,
whose existence begat 
by this dada and da mama aye
revel in your bursting at figurative 
seams viz maturation, and know...

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And the beanstalk fell and the giant as well
And the giant lay there dead
I swear to you I thought it true
It seems I was misled 

Though the giant bled he raised his head
And said I...

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Mine gerund farming, tilling, and harvesting illogical weltanschauung

Twas accursed destiny
since birth (maybe coded in
deoxyribonucleic acid  
since time immemorial) alas and alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,
one common Joe biden his time
for no particular
rhyme...

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curt hissy Matthew Scott Harris
who wishes ewe well
to make $cents of the following
mumbo jumbo lettered gumbo.

Hip puck crease see
(ad hoc) key hide dee claim
haint how my noggin 
comports itself to take aim,
cuz ear lee aire...

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Shana Aubrey Harris – 
 whose existence begat by dada and da mama; aye
revel your bursting at figurative seams viz maturation, and know by
chatting over telephone, your aura, charisma, 
   and persona finds...

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When playtime was over my tiny hands tediously picked up Tyco toys, a fistful of three at a time. "Atta girl," my dad would encourage. This daunting task was heroically spared when his master hands...

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Mister money bags no more

Ah..., how I idolize the days of yore
before June twentieth, and twenty first
two thousand twenty three
when utter senselessness wore,
a trail of woe brutally
ravaging and savaging mine psyche,
yours truly attests gullibility tore
and...

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Twas accursed destiny
     since birth alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,

     viz zit ting older sibling counterattack
thirteen plus chronological gap
    eldest sister struck...

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Fe fy foe fum we are the crew who gets the job done.
Ranked with badges to whip with lashes.
We leave the scene, cold like ice from the murder we bring.
We put you to rest cause...

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Step by step, I steadily aged with time and wisdom.
I appreciatively obliged old bones to bow before kindred, king and kingdom.
Thank you mama for cleaning my snotty scum, 
thank you for caring when childish tears...

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Fi,fy,foe,fum. I smell the blood. Sweet nectar of fools. Stamp them down. Stamp it all out. Back and forth like the swing of a fairground hammer.

Adjust the ride. Inject the senses. Bathed in a misty...

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It’s 2023 and the world wants to know
‘What is a woman?’

Apparently now all it takes is call yourself one
and, poof, you are.

Which means we have finally arrived
in the post-modern nightmare of objectiveless fantasy.

In this fantasy...

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We know that a poem with legs is a Lim(b)erick;
But do you want to Laugh-out-Louderick?

What's a poem about the NCAA Final Four? - An Above-the-Rimerick
And a poem about a monster? -- A Chimerick
A write that's...

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One day I disappeared inside myself, but they found me. My children, my husband.
I dived into a bush, but the dog dug me out.  I tried again, built a hide and seek closet.
Maybe I...

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Man isn't this scary?
"No" answered Larry, "Fee-fi-fo-fum"
Let the story begin,
how it has been carried out!
By men tied up in trees and cuff-links-
for those charmers in boxed formats,
the irony behind black cats and crawls,

Dogs chasing mice:
Cops...

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What would I do if there were only one of me
and not this raucous house on sky high stilts
shouting Fe Fi Fo Fum
rooster proud and peacock pitchy
like Baba Yaga, with her chicken legs
but many more...

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Echoes everywhere
Stomp Stomp
Who’s there?
A Giant says he
Being tall
The Giants call
I can destroy
People are like toys
Looking over the colony
Think of me as your majesty
King high above
A tall tree
My footsteps are my mark 
Traces of where I...

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Hark, hark!  The shark!
   I think that I shall never pee
   Into something nasty as puree...
Quoth the raven, "What the heck for?"

Twas brillig in her sleazy toes
Mumby gyros grown through...

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These are a few rules of fum,
For one chum is... fum!
Even if you do smell the blood of an Englishman,
It is impolite to yell fee fie fo... fum!
One must never leave their house looking like...

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As another night dies, I ask how did you sleep Momma?
When nightmares plague your vision, did you sleep ok Momma?

Cold winds howling like a child's fairy tale
Are we little pigs waiting for the wolf in...

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my x has been boxed
Stations have been played
nine ten do
switch
my reality virtualised
my intelligence artificialised
escaping fear in evil
residently near
Trevor smiles
as his stole car
switch gears
Of wars i am well versed
Honoured with medals
Never smelt the Battle field
Duty always...

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