The Rule of Fum

These are a few rules of fum, For one chum is... fum! Even if you do smell the blood of an Englishman, It is impolite to yell fee fie fo... fum! One must never leave their house looking like a bum, It is irreprehensible to always be... glum! One must always choose his mate even over his best chum, Your bathroom must always be free of... scum! Ice cream should come in five gallon drums, Beer bread should be devoured 'til there isnt a... crumb! One must never smack their gum, Or stick a pie with their... thumb, And pull out a... plumb! When someone says "hither" you must come, Never stand there just looking... dumb! If you are to be a florist you must have a green thumb, And always stay away from the...rum! These are just a few rules of fum, So until we meet again... go and have some F.U.M.!