Long Doofus Poems

Many British thermal units* later

Vice linkedin to carnal flesh this writer, 
(a married heterosexual doofus, – 
whose alter egos 
named and highlighted courtesy 
Gallant and Goofus) attones
to heat these lovely bag of bones
amazingly graceful human...

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Moe
Larry
Curly

Shep 
Joe

This Three-Fifth Stooges moron quartet
are brain-slow slugs you don’t wanna IQ know

Just sitting on a milk crate,
waiting outside of the MGM studio gate
Moe, Larry and Curly passed my way

They were yukking it up,
talking clown...

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A definite bonehead moment

since revised when das scribe 
made laughing stock of himself 
(circa ~ 8:30 post meridiem 
December twenty eighth, 2022).

A retrospective account
revisited courtesy the following 
honest to dog doe eyed, 
doofus dopey dilemma
allows,...

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Non labor (relations) day September 1st, 2023 poem

Aye dream of Genie (as a lad din)
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
deployed courtesy scholar
really...a boot nuttin
butta an overrated allay
zee good for...

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Pick up the plaid skirt curly,
ride to the rave party on the down low
Sneak out the lame pimple place early,
take the cutie to the Hush Hush ‘Mo ‘Mo
Trying to act playa Romeo ... like he...

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You've ignited a fire beyond what you know,
my smooth hand glides providing the flow,
striking lightening that makes the mind blow,
you stole my rhymes and put them on show.

I followed the trail and look where it...

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My golden dog,
two days after his death
I can still smell his fur
in my nose,
in my brain.
After frantic efforts,
we shared his last breath.
I watch the life leave
his eye.
His name was Cosmos and
I think there is a...

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The day my life went bizacko,
I had me a brush with “big C”
“No biggie; just radiation,” they said,
“after lumpectomy.”

“No, wait,” said the surgeon,“Your cancer’s genetic!
Let’s have you do chemo too.”
A doctor friend wiser said that...

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12/5/20


Better choose quick
Just might lose if
You don't do it

Awesome or a nuisance
It either was or wasn't in the blueprints
Still a loner, or already shot by Cupid's
Arrow, underneath a sky that is moonlit

They spread lies, but...

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Me a zombie?
Never!
Just a viral doofus poseur,
Brainiac and hacker on the loose tapping into other genie lamps,
Wireless Stikbot floater skipping ID challenge.
Hurdles that authenticate saliva from a silicone palate.
Trojan horse webber getting kicks from pop...

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I am watching the t.v. show Growing Pains and it brings tears to my eyes. I think
of the things my grandchildren watch. Less variety was more. We had worthwhile
lessons in a half-hour program. Today there...

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My loving wife is a woman who’s just not inclined to flatter
Mine pointed out I’m not so serious about things that don’t matter
But I read between the lines of what she thought she meant
Her unintended...

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I want to say you're silly and perhaps a little mad
Infact, you're effing cuckoo because everytime I'm sad
You always make me laugh til I pee my girlie knickers
I believe the sense in you comes in...

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I Am a Big Fat Looser

Oh I am a big fat looser
I don’t deserve to live
I need someone to take a Gun
And shoot me till I’m dead

Yes I am a big fat looser
I really want...

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Early one morn the sun did sink
   in the west as the moon arose
And Farmer Jones inspected his rose
   of purple corn, which began to dance
Shedding sheaves, donning pants...

While in the...

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Dancing to Sisqo 
like a dad at a disco
that ain’t the diss though
you’re a straight up pissed ho
handbag on the dance floor 
where your sandbag tits fall
straps see you trip fool
your ugly face hit sore
wake...

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You're standing on a window ledge
on the 50th floor of your building.
It's Valentine's Day in Manhattan, 
clouds cruising, sun everywhere, 

a nice breeze tossing your hair,
the taste of that woman always there.
Do you wonder what...

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