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Three-Fifth Stooges Quartet

Moe
Larry
Curly

Shep 
Joe

This Three-Fifth Stooges moron quartet
are brain-slow slugs you don’t wanna IQ know

Just sitting on a milk crate,
waiting outside of the MGM studio gate
Moe, Larry and Curly passed my way

They were yukking it up,
talking clown downright tomfoolery
Saying how they were the new chaos custodians of the White House,
bragging ‘bout their superior idiocy

Moe, with his rice bowl haircut,
said prez money pays good, 
but not well enough
Touching his little-bitty Hitler **** moustache,
he said hustling voter rubes is where the real money’s at

Larry agreed, with his best straight-man face,
said green cash water is overflowing 
from the Potomac River down by W DC place
There’s a lot of Caesar coins waiting to be tax collected
by cheating vaudeville fools like us
Nobody's paying attention to us not being properly vetted

Curly chimed in with a camel cud chubby chuckle:
you two useful idiots don’t know a single swamp draining thing
First, you gotta smooze all dem lazy gators,
make sure they be blind drunk lawmakers
Let dem pass the bottle around, then do the crooked bill signing
Bacon, lettuce and cheese will loosen the belt buckle — 
Enough beer hall loot to drink from a crocodile pretzel boot

Shep enters:

None of you three numbskulls know what cha’ talking about
Trump tramp Sue 
said their be easy pickings down at Mar-a-lago Florida South
This is what we do:
A Kansas City shuffle, move nosy eyes left to right
Give ‘em a wink and a nod, start a racial food fight
Tell those losers, a wall is gonna be built overnight
But it’s Mexicali way, we be boarding the next flight

Joe arrives late:

Hey, fellas ... what are y’all four imbeciles,
quartet scheming on the fake pyramid shill 
It only take Three-Fifth Stooges to run the art of the con deal
Back the armored truck up when we're done hauling in the steal
Put the patsy voters behind the speeding bullet getaway wheel ... 
trust me, they don’t care — 
Even if we high school heist graduate to a Madison Avenue kill

Now listen to Moe moronic me, you doofus knuckle heads
Stop Bozo-ing around, acting like a pigeon stool
Mask up into our goofy Al Jolson black faces,
and give citizens the befuddled Mantan Moreland look
Walk like a Charlie Chaplin constipated penguin,
do the Keystone Cops silly willy-nilly routine
Speak Stan and Ollie odd couple ventriloquist Bonzo talk

That Comedy Club schtick, it just might work;
but Sum Dim Bulb Larry, he don’t stupid think so
Somebody gon have do the Bad Santa twerk
Secret hush-hush donors like the backroom pitch dark,
keep the media jokers from spilling the beans
Overplay the hand  ...  and you start jumping the shark

I Curley Costanza am tired of all this Horrible Boss talk,
Slapstick conflict sells tabloid on the telly best ‘tho
Apprentice toadies all wanna suck up to the Queen chalk,
be he’s dragging his Russian ruble blackboard toes
Tap, tap ... tapping around the oil-slick money trail walk

Mr. Cosmos “Shep” Kramer don’t like the crazy he hear,
aluminum sailboat hats gon block out the jeer noise
Ducky selling canned cheers to the kids with no toys
Market the simple plan: More guns will eradicate the fear

Just standing on a heated sewer grate,
waiting outside of the MGM studio gate
Only Jerry “Joe” Seinfeld passes the other way

As for the Three-Fifth Stooges moronika Quartet,
those sticky five-fingers fools ain’t stole enough yet

Them cuckoo clock bandits: Dumb and Dumber,
	Dummy and Dumbo — 
helium balloon jughead carnival buffoons
Get their antics aired everyday
on the funny network for animated cartoons

Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2018

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