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Three-Fifth Stooges Quartet
Moe Larry Curly Shep Joe This Three-Fifth Stooges moron quartet are brain-slow slugs you don’t wanna IQ know Just sitting on a milk crate, waiting outside of the MGM studio gate Moe, Larry and Curly passed my way They were yukking it up, talking clown downright tomfoolery Saying how they were the new chaos custodians of the White House, bragging ‘bout their superior idiocy Moe, with his rice bowl haircut, said prez money pays good, but not well enough Touching his little-bitty Hitler porn moustache, he said hustling voter rubes is where the real money’s at Larry agreed, with his best straight-man face, said green cash water is overflowing from the Potomac River down by W DC place There’s a lot of Caesar coins waiting to be tax collected by cheating vaudeville fools like us Nobody's paying attention to us not being properly vetted Curly chimed in with a camel cud chubby chuckle: you two useful idiots don’t know a single swamp draining thing First, you gotta smooze all dem lazy gators, make sure they be blind drunk lawmakers Let dem pass the bottle around, then do the crooked bill signing Bacon, lettuce and cheese will loosen the belt buckle — Enough beer hall loot to drink from a crocodile pretzel boot Shep enters: None of you three numbskulls know what cha’ talking about Trump tramp Sue said their be easy pickings down at Mar-a-lago Florida South This is what we do: A Kansas City shuffle, move nosy eyes left to right Give ‘em a wink and a nod, start a racial food fight Tell those losers, a wall is gonna be built overnight But it’s Mexicali way, we be boarding the next flight Joe arrives late: Hey, fellas ... what are y’all four imbeciles, quartet scheming on the fake pyramid shill It only take Three-Fifth Stooges to run the art of the con deal Back the armored truck up when we're done hauling in the steal Put the patsy voters behind the speeding bullet getaway wheel ... trust me, they don’t care — Even if we high school heist graduate to a Madison Avenue kill Now listen to Moe moronic me, you doofus knuckle heads Stop Bozo-ing around, acting like a pigeon stool Mask up into our goofy Al Jolson black faces, and give citizens the befuddled Mantan Moreland look Walk like a Charlie Chaplin constipated penguin, do the Keystone Cops silly willy-nilly routine Speak Stan and Ollie odd couple ventriloquist Bonzo talk That Comedy Club schtick, it just might work; but Sum Dim Bulb Larry, he don’t stupid think so Somebody gon have do the Bad Santa twerk Secret hush-hush donors like the backroom pitch dark, keep the media jokers from spilling the beans Overplay the hand ... and you start jumping the shark I Curley Costanza am tired of all this Horrible Boss talk, Slapstick conflict sells tabloid on the telly best ‘tho Apprentice toadies all wanna suck up to the Queen chalk, be he’s dragging his Russian ruble blackboard toes Tap, tap ... tapping around the oil-slick money trail walk Mr. Cosmos “Shep” Kramer don’t like the crazy he hear, aluminum sailboat hats gon block out the jeer noise Ducky selling canned cheers to the kids with no toys Market the simple plan: More guns will eradicate the fear Just standing on a heated sewer grate, waiting outside of the MGM studio gate Only Jerry “Joe” Seinfeld passes the other way As for the Three-Fifth Stooges moronika Quartet, those sticky five-fingers fools ain’t stole enough yet Them cuckoo clock bandits: Dumb and Dumber, Dummy and Dumbo — helium balloon jughead carnival buffoons Get their antics aired everyday on the funny network for animated cartoons
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