A Definite Bonehead Moment
A definite bonehead moment
since revised when das scribe
made laughing stock of himself
(circa ~ 8:30 post meridiem
December twenty eighth, 2022).
A retrospective account
revisited courtesy the following
honest to dog doe eyed,
doofus dopey dilemma
allows, enables, and provides
figurative fodder from readers,
who ordinarily lavish
honorable voluntary praiseworthy feedback,
now your chance to chide me
viz when senior moment struck
(an admitted absent minded fella,
could least afford to dodge responsibility
being driven to the brink of despair)
of my own accord
hence after perusing poem
go ahead and character assassinate
yours truly regarding
earning convincing appellation
as overgrown latchkey kid
damning himself as nincompoop ace.
Forsooth, he locked the entire set
of apartment and car keys
right there on the driver seat,
and quickly did brace
himself, asper the most logical
strategy to proceed
forthwith to resolve
quandary and chase
away (any hat tinned man)
liable to bust windshield
or window as true to form
hooligan vandalism disgrace,
despite that then two thousand
eighteen holiday season,
(year wordsmith crafted reasonable rhyme),
when good willful deeds
ought to pervade everyplace
across all four corners of
the world wide web, no
doubt insinuating snivelling
buffoon – pitch perfect
for Monty Python crew
lampoon written across visage of crankcase
impossible mission to maintain
buoyed spirits (r)oiled countenance
scotched calm, cool,
and collected demeanor
series of unfortunate
circumstances did displace
blockhead chassis to maintain stern face
obligations of maintaining,
forthright, embarrassing, commonplace
and healthy rapport
between poet (writer in
general), and fanbase
necessitates apprising dedicated
civility, docility, fidelity, gentility,
humility, integrity, jocularity...
of course how could thine spouse
sabotage amazing grace,
(no matter she tried in vain
not to smirk or grimace),
cuz the missus burst out with peals
of hearty laughter at hardcase
eluding obvious solution only futility
venting exhaustive expletives, while
unconsciously, nervously,
and grimly interlace
sing and interweaving fingers
of both hands reckoning how jace
son and the Argonauts, superman,
or even a lab bottom
sized drone weighing
no more'n freckle on face
nor measuring, no more
than a bajillion kilobase,
all the time cockamamie ideas race
sing thru my mind lovingly
crafted in lowercase,
asper premium, sans
amidst fifty shades of gray
cerebral cells wherein
memory banks perhaps indicative,
viz early onset dementia praecox
could be outpace
sing mental acuity slowly
becoming unhinged preface
sing senescence, where nonsense
minus sensibility dost seem to replace
former sharp as a pin focus,
though body still spry
enough to hoist me petards
attempting to climb thru bedroom window,
(inevitably falling flat on my ass),
yet that mean feat
(if successful) insufficient
stunt to join superrace,
who could help me vanish
into dark shadows of outer limits
of twilight zone without a trace.
Copyright © Matthew Harris | Year Posted 2022
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