Long Depressions Poems
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crushed at rock bottom he gathered the fragments of descent
slow motion agony that started at a plateau of deluded deceit
free falling sadness spiraling out of control beyond fast repair
the black dog on his shoulder had survived the fall and barked
another round of sadness an insurmountable sorrow cheered on
‘you are useless and even void and oblivion are having a laugh’
a tunnel with no light and the canary asphyxiated in the mine shaft
another panic attack unable to ease the landing of a scarred mind
scared and confused he gathered the pieces and stabbing shards
with broken bones and un-abating accusations he collected his guilt
fears and shame about yet another defeat at the foundation of evil
demons and miserable clairvoyants spoke in bifurcated obsessions
possessed by the mother of all depressions he reached for a glimmer
of hope he searched for a message from science deities and reason
yet unable to guide his emotions all efforts crashed without rescue
the rope had twisted once more and he dangled helpless face down
just enough slack to disfigure his angry face that featured disgust
and yet as the blood flooded his brain he surrendered his objections
one final attempt and he severed the noose with the open fracture of
the razor sharp dislocation sticking out just below the palm of his hand
with a further snap of his wrist and life line he surrendered lost dreams
if life gave you hemlock but the vessel had cracked on the impact
of the smash and grab of lifeless cycle of disassociated insanity he
resolved to drink his own blood and call upon autoimmune response
after all the medication had been useless and hours on Freud’s couch
had only imprinted more festering pressure sores on purulent skin
cognitive explorations had only dragged him further down self-denial
religion mantras and science had failed to invoke sanity and healing
levitation would not emerge when he fell from the edge of madness
the cross lay in pieces and nails had lacerated his heart and resolve
just when he felt the pulse getting weaker and with delirious gaze
he succumbed to a last ditch attempt to reassemble a piece of his soul
wrote an ultimate will on the wall and vowed to hand over let go and live
15th June 2020
Born into the lap of loneliness
Adam paced restless up and down
God knew he badly needed a mate
And willed the solitary man, a companion
Nonpareil in beauty and grace,
God wanted her to be the marvel of marvels
With wonderful craftsmanship,
God began working on His new creation
Seeing God laboring overtime
The angels in Heaven came in hordes.
Overwhelmed by awe and wonder
Rallying round Him, they asked in chorus
“Lord, you seem to take extra care
In the making of your latest work,
Have you any special intent?
God smiled a gentle smile
And said in solemn air
“She should be of a special stuff
Strong enough to withstand all the shocks
But delicate enough to bend and bow
Sweet enough to draw everyone to her charm
But tough enough to bear extra burden
She should have a heart very deep
To hold gallons of liquid love
And a mind patient enough
To forbear all rebukes
She should have a temperament
Willing to forgive and forget
She should be warm enough
To kiss away all tears
With the magic to heal the bleeding hearts
She should bear the seeds of progeny
And shall be the great MOTHER to all
Sister, friend, mate and mother- all rolled into one
The Angels were moved to surprise,
Over the attributes ascribed to woman
They wanted to have a closer look
And just touch and feel that hour glass figure
Unlike Adam’s steely frame
They found her to be of a soft texture
With projections and depressions
Curves and slants here and there
“Oh, she is so fragile and soft”
The angels exclaimed in unison
Not hiding their disbelief
They openly gave vent to their doubt
“With such delicate torso
How can she perform all her tasks?”
God replied in assured tone;
“She is soft, I agree, from hilt to heel,
But equally tough………
None can guess what she can accomplish!
She can fight to the end for what she thinks is right
She has such great power of endurance
And the gift of intuition, but…. but,
As nothing of this world is perfect
This woman too has one serious flaw
She tends to forget her own worth”
Thus God’s supreme handiwork was born
A marvel of creation, a miracle worthy of adulation!
March.29.2022
(I had written this for Beta Augustin's Poetry Contest. Sadly I understand now that poems in Ode form alone are accepted)
I know you, I know your thought,
I won't be intimidated by their sunny
Red blazing eyes that hurts minds.
My ink might not be better now but
I won't give up in the quest to know more,
I will still swallow my pride and work.
The essences of living is not seen in not failing
But failing and rising make up life journey.
Life has knocked me hardin many attempts
Yet, I will triumph bravely over those critics.
Tell hardship that I can't let go of my dreams,
Tell poverty that he has lost the game of the
throne, wink at frustration and mutter to him
that he should keep off from my burning zone.
I may share the bleeding part of the nosy economy,
Tears may flow here and there like a rain drop,
Leaving me helpless and hopeless; dumbfolded,
I must never give up base on what you say to me.
Tell them in the house that we, the penlords,
Will survive the melt down of the sun on us.
Strongly, we will prowl in the darkness alone.
The sweat on our brows had been brave always,
We've seen many times when the sun changes!
We've seen the moon as a chameleon here;
Yes, we've seen many transition in life and life
Itself have seen us with a bleeding souls and legs.
We will cross the bridge of a disgraced shame,
From the faculty of insanity to home of sanity.
We can't leave words alone, we can't leave Nigeria
On fire and run to a sagging strange land, no!
Look at our eyes and find out that there is
A tinny boundary that connect home and abroad,
Love knows no bounds but suffering has bound
That cluster in many ways in the polluted air.
Look at the forest of men astraying,
Panting in an endless depressions that bark.
I refuse to be among the rejected in the street,
I refuse to be frustrated before the new rain,
If their head is censored in the field, many will fall.
I refuse to be stranded in the hands of the so critics,
None those Animaticians on the their white chairs.
Today has seen our stripped heartbeat broken,
Tomorrow shall we overthrow fear in a combat.
This is from my hand; hand of a pen refusing
Frustration from the clouded prison wall of poverty.
I can't be devastated, we can't be demoralised in
Our own land where enough milk are gathered.
(C) John Chizoba Vincent
Voice Of Vincent 2016
Those of us
who have had guilty pleasures
of owning valuable real property,
like a car
and rental property
and office equipment
Office buildings,
solar inverters,
and nuclear holocaust delivery systems
but not privately owned MBA degrees
or merely intellectual property
or more intimately owned emotional properties,
Those of us
who know the mixed blessings
of owning organic and technocratic fragments
of climate pathologized,
yet still breathing, planet Earth,
especially if taxable property,
have heard about depreciation of values
over their natural/mechanical life/utility
health/power time.
We might recall
depreciation of property value
decelerates more gradually as time marches forward,
barring any unfortunate head-on accidents,
flying and melting and fragmenting damage,
accelerating astronomical crises
eliminating long-term realistic health-wealth values.
Depreciated suddenly to total loss of asset value,
now a global junk-dealer liability.
Anyway,
just as depreciation decelerates over time,
appreciation accelerates empowering resilience
with time's enduring health/wealth cooperative life-experience,
Organic systems accelerate
robust cooperative integrity
over a deep learning nutritious multiculturing life-time
of Win/Win climax learning
deeply curving synergetic ego/eco-relationships,
Growing in good-humored co-investment priorities
for story telling and listening
to resonant fulfillment co-opportunities
Rather than continuing historic depreciated taking
and Win/Lose epic slow-losing ego/economic depressions,
Anti-systemic pathologies,
realistic predictions of global chaos.
Retributive injustice depreciations
slowly fade toward entropic disorganization,
just the suffering and loss opposite
of exponentially appreciative Win/Win compassion
Explicitly conscious
of living interdependently between and within
autonomously natural depreciative law
and appreciative open-systemic/spiritual
yang/yin multicultural
left/right psychological
self/other empowering
appreciative
spiraling
deep listening and wide learning order
re-mixing depreciating curses
into old-aged exponentially appreciating blessings
of co-opportune climaxing climates.
Your faith for the greater good has cease its dawning
Self-loathing in one’s destiny isn’t to be for your path’s bidding
So much more must you endure, am you to fully understand
Death to every a soul is a must for sacrifice to justly apprehend
Compassion, pity and even love must you learn to dispel
For these only belong the emotions of the weak to welcome Hell
Heed the need of my words should one day your mortal heart be soften
To be manipulated easily would be from the cause of these depressions
Therefore, I give to you this amulet, marking your destiny
Seek its true wisdom and in war will all simply be tranquility
Though this battle may have separated you from Alkaiya
Your fate is bound in time to meet her once more from afar
Return now my Knight, into The Ancients and face your fate
To truly be The Knight of the Word, lies a lifetime more to await”
{From whence he awoke, the amulet then lies in his hands
Where of power he sees in the amulet, might he seek to lend?
Without Alkaiya’s healing ability, he struggled onto his feet
Traveling through a day without aid from no one to seek
Though of the amulet on his neck, it withdrew but nothing more
Not of knowledge either for his near dying soul to call for
Till finally, onto an ageless tree he encountered to stumble upon
And into a dreamless dream he can only surrender and slumber Along}
“It was several days after before I am finally to see the light
What of miracles to have assisted me through those quiet nights?
And a single feather there lay beside from where I awoke
A finest of feather to once more assure there exist still of hope
Decidedly, I am to remain a while longer upon this sacred ground
To recover perhaps the lost of faith and of tranquility to be found
By the waterfall is where Ei-rian found thy loathing soul
A broken destiny in disguise, to finally learn of each destine role
Remember well, Knight of the Word… the cause of disruption
Nothing is ever the real truth beyond a mortal’s reason
And as for the amulet you behold, is imbue of my spirit
Should my aid be required, you are simply to will it
Of lives lost and found, of souls broken within
May tranquility come to you beyond The Ancient’s dream”
THE CHENNAI FLOODS - FIRST PART
Firstly the rains came calling cool
It instantly brought hope and happiness
For people relished the Celsius dip down
And hoped for reservoirs to fill to lips
But pretty soon the horrific floods followed
As it rained cats and dogs, days on end
As monsoon turned to a tormentor possessed
And led many to many a sleepless night
The inevitable pain came calling chill and fast
As roads and streets were ravaged entirely
And excess water submerged ponds and land
As waterways and drains could pass no more
The serious threat meandered in with a roar
With intense rains adding to the fury and more
Amidst storm, lightning, thunder on crescendo
Emanating from deep depressions in the Bay
Then fear and scare all showed up all night
As water inundated fields and farms alike
And entered into houses and dwelling units
Causing widespread loss to assets and life
The floods slithered in surely winding its way
Uprooting trees and destructing everywhere
Cattle, dogs and pets perished soon, unsung
With hapless people of all ages, in a gloom
The engulfing darkness brought chaos, for
Gloomy conditions only worsened soon
With nothing in sight; except rising waters
Seething snakes and reptiles added blues
Trauma and melancholy, magnified manifold
As waters chill, ran amuck human household
Swirling in; bringing great despair, in Cities too
Nightmare everywhere; yet nowhere to go;
The disaster itself was a Broadway show
As city and residences became a water-show
And in no time all hell had broken loose;
Making waterways of rail and road ways too
The big losses came quick and fast
As households washed off in a gaffe
And apartments and cars submerged
With basements becoming watery graves
Overnight and instantly everything was lost
Furniture, valuables, utensils and garments,
Refrigerators, kitchenware, other gadgets too
Gold, silver, cash and documents; phones too
And then it was the death that reared its head,
As people drowned and went missing cold
Pitch darkness engulfing the misery in whole
People breathed their last; their grief untold
........ Continued in Second Part
I used to have a house guest
And he never helps me get
Things arranged, didn't clean
Up behind his mess
of hopelessness, depressions, variances and stifles
Live before up on a shelf
Didn't care about others nor anyone else
Didn't have a previous address
Life in shambles what a mess
Was homeless until I found him
Didn't' contribute but I forgave him
No positive things abut him but he's one of God's children
so I had to evict him
Cause all he did was noting positive
Everything was negative
He did nothing to contribute but
Bring him and me down so he thought
He had to go
Depression doesn't live here anymore
He had to go
Depression left and he didn't close the door
I am not sad now, I am glad wow
And the pains of sorrow are left outside
I'm a better person now that I've kicked him to the curb
Depression doesn't live here anymore
Hurt, loss non compassion is out the door
Depression doesn't live here anymore
Git your sad sack non glad rags git'em packed and go on out the door
Hurts, pains poverty skeleton remains none of that lives here anymore
Wrath, strive, confused life none of that lives here anymore
Depression, obsessions, confusion, rebellion none of that lives here anymore
I kicked them all to the curb and gave them a map to the door
I said get out, get out, get out, stay out in Jesus name none of them lives here anymore
No amount of monies, no honey or cute little baby bunnies
Can let me house you as guest here anymore
I kicked them all to the curb and gave them a map to the door
I said get out , get out get out, stay out in Jesus name
None of them live here anymore
Life in shambles what a mess
Was homeless until I found him
Didn't' contribute but I forgave him
No positive things abut him but he's one of God's children
so I had to evict him
Cause all he did was noting positive
Everything was negative
He did nothing to contribute but
Bring him and me down so he thought
He had to go
Depression doesn't live here anymore
written by James Edward Lee Sr.
from anthology " Open Up Your Heart" & "Strong Faith"
04/12/2011
I've felt it said
here
time and again
That a personal issue
is also about political tissue
reconnecting economic responsibilities
risks
opportunities fiscal
annual
perennial
Centers of felt pleasure
and good humor
are Passions,
not only small
and great transitional
but resonantly
resiliently multi-anecdotal,
Excluding all DisPassions
DeGenerations
and humorless passions
actively resisting future dispassions,
loss
suffering
mortality
and all that dualistically dark stuff,
sensory tissue memories
of sacred issue images
My peculiar ecosystem
co-empathically admiring Ultra NonViolet
rainbow
spectrally ionic Heaven
multiculturing emergent organic
ironic Paradise
And personal political insider trading
in Gospel EmPowering PassionStories
co-emerge eco-Paradise here
with ego-Pleasure now,
sacred place
with historically enculturing
triangulated
bilateral
tipping pointed hierarchical
and reverse root systemic revolutionary
upside-down
EarthHealth PleasurePower
anticipating more HeavenWealth ParadiseLight
win/win peace-viral
evolutionary PanSensory
bicamerally enlightened
eco/ego double-binary
unboundaried trans-empowerment.
And so I try to co-discern
discuss
cooperatively dialogue
about whom I am supporting,
investing in,
and why
I might reasonably expect
mutual win/win health/wealth outcomes.
And, on the other hand,
when such mutual intention becomes
and belongs within anti-losePleasure/loseHumor
transparently shared limits,
then it is time to set chronic stressed
win/lose compromises
anticipations
evolutionary theories
existential angst
depressions
negative impressions aside
To grab hold
of cooperative
systemic con-celebrating revolutions
toward transliturgies enlightening
empowering
re-ligioned win/win
SecularLeftMinded/SacredRightHearted
ego-impassioned EarthHealth Justice
resolutions
Embracing Pleasure
and Paradise,
Power
and Light,
Earth
and Heaven,
Secular
and Sacred,
Deductive
and Inductive
cooperative GoodHumor,
within NonZero-Soul's ubiquitous remainder.
Have I really been working on myself or did I just change from my work clothes to something more comfortable
Is this depression or is it just the pigment of my skin
Can I defeat you, detach from you or are you so fingerprinted to my thoughts that I'm simply running away from me
Sometimes I wish I could just escape me, myself wears a mask, and I am tired of getting dressed up just to still feel down
I'm black said my mind, I live in the shadows of sadness watching the sunlight from a distance
If only the heat from the suns smile would kiss me, maybe it would melt away my sadness
I'm black said my words, followed by you're different, they won't accept you, you don't fit in
I'm black says the mirror looking at a reflection of depression
I get so lost in my waning emotions my waxing moon can barely breathe
It's so cold that even the rays of light feel sad
I'm black, I'm depressed, I'm black, I'm oppressed, I'm black I'm obsessed with the idea of my feelings living on equal ground
I'm black, I'm depressed the two interchange while beginning to sound the same so much so I took depressions last name
When I look at me I see one broken piece
I can't find the rest of the lyrics to my song, maybe it's because the writer will never finish it
Maybe it's because I didn't cry enough to water my heart
I'm black, I'm dirt, but my soil is killing the last remaining rose
I am a rose with bloody red regrets for petals, I put my failures on a pedestal
So, every time I tried to look up it got me nowhere
I'm lost and I keep letting the grey line give me directions, because there's a thin line between joy and happiness, and in the middle is pity where you can find me
I'm black so they think I stole these 5 minutes of happiness, and so what if I did everyone deserves 15 minutes of fame and mine is coming soon
But right now, I just want to smile and actually feel the laughter hold me instead of the facade that hugs me like a long embrace
This morning I stopped running and looked depression in the face
My mind is not yours it is the Lord's
p.s. let the battle begin
Valley’s of sleep that hold on to virtue through the years,
Distant from the arms of cities where vice and lust rule governments,
Where social values preach chastity to innocent hearts,
Where the earths depressions shelter Mr. and Mrs. Purity,
A v-shaped river valley of the virgins who roam there,
With rivers streaming from cities to valley’s that bleed desire,
Trapped they are by steep gradients with steep walls and narrow bottoms,
The cherubim keep shame societies there like puppets until the cherries blossom
and ripen,
Valley’s of cherries tucked away by pseudo morality, un-pollinated and stamen
locked up like relics,
Botanical gardens of exotic fruits and sacred flowers,
Kept there by valleys of locked up atriums where keys are closely watched by
bishops,
Vestal virgins with holy books as bosoms and nothing else,
In river valleys where streams of life’s juices are currents that flow in all directions,
Where church robes run from river baptismal’s of full immersion,
A sexual awaking blocked by dams that reach the heavens,
celestial ornaments of purity hung on swinging trees like botanical gardens to be
picked,
with winds that push and push until they are broken from branches falling below to
rivers that carry them away from brother and sister virtue,
sexual appetites subdued by chastity belt covered mouths that kill truth searching,
Sexual liberation, and the separation of the spirit hold separate experiences like the
sun and the moon,
finding the secrets that make the soul the soul requires a boat to carry souls
through rites of passage,
Horns are blown in glacial valleys to shake melting ice that flows leaving sediments
of intimacy behind to germinate in spring,
Human nature is the flower pollinated by romanticizsim that breaks away from
stems of adolescence and dogmatic aged tree branches,
Floating away in winds and water’s to cities where guilt is thrown off bridges,
rocks tied to feet where it sits at river bottoms like the Ganges,
only to resurface at the end of life’s death with purity and wisdom.