Long Alaskan Poems

Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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The Alaskan Oil Pipeline

Nineteen sixty-eight confirmed the year
Of discovery by ‘Humble Oil’
To North America’s largest oil field,
On the North Slope of the Brooks Range;
A west to east Northern Alaskan mountain chain.
An area forty miles wide...

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I must admit
You left me broken…
I am shattered shards,
Spread out on your hands…
Your sweaty palms of uncertainty at hand
But, we will land in a land of I-understand…

Make a stand and things won’t get out of...

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Alaska; the wilderness state, the last frontier:
Where majestic mountains,
Deliver streams into flowing rivers:
Down slopes covered in forests
Of Sitka Spruce and Western Hemlock,
That dominates the landscape.
The name Alaska originates
From the Aleut word ‘Aleyska,’
Meaning the ‘mainland’ or...

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It's too hot and humid for September!
Even dust specks descending in the room's sunlight
are beads of sweat running down my sides.
I bring pencil, crossword and ice tea 
to this chair and table, these angled shutters,...

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Wine tears
Flowing through the contours of cheeks
To reach these valleys residing in heart
Listen
Let the echo jump into this abyss
Until it reverberates like a suicidal cry
And breaks like a rope 
Adamant on giving second chance to...

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Always envious of gifted individuals with neat hand printing/writing

Gnome hatter heroic measures taken
moost ludicrously asinine,
nonetheless hoop fully
me legendary penta meat herd bovine design

of modest fellow (me) will endure as divine,
no matter not one bloody poetic...

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Limericks V - Politics

Baked Alaskan
by Michael R. Burch

There is a strange yokel so flirty
she makes whores seem icons of purity.
With all her winkin’ and blinkin’
Palin seems to be thinkin’—
"Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause...

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Alaskan wilderness, a beautiful sight, holds grave danger when you go it alone.
It was freezing cold one night when Frank’s unwanted adventure began. 
He had left early that Sunday morn, before an unexpected blizzard moved...

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Encomium for cumulative collection of trash

The pyromaniac within yours truly
beckons sacrificial ritual
mine burning (man's)
sacred plastic bags
of rubbish (comprised of: hairs combed,
ditto trimmed from dead head,
filthy lucre - ha, phlegm
wrapped in tissue paper,
snips and snails,
and puppy...

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      I am a photographer of wildlife and I was on an expedition,
to capture the wilderness of North Alaska and the life of Inupiact Eskimo's;
    ...

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There I was just chillen with all my homeies in the big zip block bag. We were all talking about the latest ozome spray, and we were wondering if it would work on us, since...

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Trekking The Unwary 

The beauty of this day, or is it the night
Cynical her way,  Alaskans weathers her blight
The touch of her nature, the chills from her bite
Broken mobile, lost alone, this plane of...

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The American Library Association
      implores cognoscenti tubby alert
for impersonators, who
     call themselves Ernie and Bert

     took a page from Sesame Street Playbook
oft...

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Oh mothers of the world stand before your mirrors of
Self-reflections, now gather all kindred near, now just 
For one moment imagine them disappearing, vaporizing into
The thinnest of air?
This realization is the future fate of the...

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THE MUSHERS RIDE OUT  (part 2)  Arctic Dogsledding 
(continuation)

             But in the race-- the last sleds skid
    ...

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It's remarkable how strong denial can be,
it appears that the wise have it right.
Most who vote, in their nibs, trust a flatterer’s fibs,
(hide their heads in the sand, hate a 'fight.')

So, we vote for our...

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The American Library Association
      implores cognoscenti tubby alert
impersonators, who
     call themselves Ernie and Bert

     took a page from Sesame Street Playbook
oft times...

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My eldest sister Amélie Beth...
ever the amateur family entomologist

Upon texting her a picture
(countless moments ago
since October ninth)
unfamiliar delicate looking critter -
(seen inside the apartment many times),
she quickly identified crane fly
agilely affixed to lampshade.

I figuratively tip...

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The full moon and milky snow illuminate the nighttime landscape I found myself lost on the mountain. 

   I have to make a choice. Looking for the North Star I placed a stick...

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The full moon and milky snow illuminate the nighttime landscape I found myself lost on the mountain. 

   I have to make a choice. Looking for the North Star I placed a stick...

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I tapped into my messages; the gas 
company wanted a piece of me, and 
my ex wanted to know when the 
month’s alimony  would be arriving.

But it was the last message which 
caught my...

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My silky ivory coat keeps me warm in the artic climate,
my keen senses search for prey in the Alaskan wilderness-
When I encounter the mighty mount Denali, I climb it,
yes, I am an Artic Wolf and...

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The GOP Presidents Club

Nineteen Republicans have occupied the Oval Office since 1861.
Around the table gather GOP presidents from Lincoln to Trump,
Sipping bourbon and wine and diet cola.
Reminiscing times basking in each other’s company,
With smiles of...

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