Grandmother Limerick Poems

My grandma once de-skunked a skunk
for reasons I still have not thunk
	she knew what to do
	without a pee yew
and never the stale air did stunk...

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Defying mental blight of old age plight
Grandmother surmounts life's tides with no fright
See her surf midst glee 
Facing waves of sea...
Let's hang her picture marked...

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My granny was sick as a parrot
She always liked that Steve Mcgarrett
Her favorite show
Hawaii 5-0
Was cancelled for football, Goddamnit

As Hawaii she couldn’t afford
Struck a pose...

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Granny has found a new trend
 With unseen waves to contend
 Ironing board skurfing
  And living room surfing
 Granny's gone off the deep end!

...

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I've seen the cool moves of Surfing Annie
Her ironing board rides are so uncanny!
When she has a wipeout
She blames it on her gout
I'm proud of...

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as if she knew kids were not around,
she got up the board, without a sound. 
statuesque, she surfs with ease,
self-taught hun, she aims to please,
her...

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five hours on the stove 
garlic, onion, tomatoes 
the great smell of sauce 

My grandmother in the kitchen all day
Cooking dinner while her kids were...

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*Image of Christmas Cookie Child by Pixabay.

Cute Christmas Cookie Crumblier
(REVISED)

Xmas snacks eaten by Chucky,
nodded he chews feelin' lucky,
grandma said 'bout her treats,
Chucky like my baked...

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The following limericks are a continuation of: https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/wicked_marys_been_a_bad_girl_1381428


Mary was simply horrid, as a wee girl
She was naughty and selfish, a school yard churl
She picked on...

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There once was a girl named Red,
Whose grandma was sick in bed.
She packed up some goodies,
Put on her red hoody,.
And made haste before Granny was...

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GRANDMOTHER

           ‘’ Can you define precise ‘A Grandmother’?’
       ...

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        Old woman, needed meals delivered.
        Upon seeing the forms,...

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There's a grandma who just wears Just My Size
Her teenybopper cloths catches shock eyes
As she walks in sassy heels.
In hot pink spots wear she reels
She's...

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Burglar breaks into wrong house
One angry home owner he did rouse
Tough Grandma throws a trash can;
wildly swings a frying pan
He scurries away like a mouse



Submitted...

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The thought of life on another planet
Held no appeal for Grandma Janet
  But the COVID lockdown
  Made Grandma fret and frown
Masks banned there?...

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