Wicked Mary-Part Two
The following limericks are a continuation of: https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/wicked_marys_been_a_bad_girl_1381428
Mary was simply horrid, as a wee girl
She was naughty and selfish, a school yard churl
She picked on one lil kid
Oh, yes indeed she did
Took out her scissors and cut off the girl's curls
One day she sat all alone on the playground
With an itsy bitsy spider she had found
Mary threw it in water
Though she hadn't oughta
Then chuckled when the tiny creature drowned
Little Red Riding Hood loved her grandmother
Mary murdered her, used a pillow to smother
She killed the old lady
Her heart's dark and shady
Blamed it on the Big Bad Wolf, her soul brother
Old King Cole was a very merry old soul
Until he was tripped and fell into a hole
Mary was the culprit
Confessed on the pulpit
Thrown in the dungeon. She's out on parole
She had the impudence to goose Mother Goose
For such bad behavior, there is no excuse
Mary should be ashamed
But she screamed, "I was framed!"
I'm certain she has a few screws that are loose
She's no longer allowed at McDonald's farm
Was caught trying to do the animals harm
Set the hen house on fire
Then denied it, the liar
The rooster's crowing raised the sound of alarm
I'm sure you've heard the story of Jack and Jill
Little ones who went for water on the hill
Their bucket had a hole
Made by Mary, the troll
She said being malicious gives her a thrill
Mary ate Hansel and Gretel's breadcrumb trail
She was the mean witch who caged them in a jail
To sell them for a price
Their lives she'd sacrifice
Mary's an ornery cuss; a peeved female
She once visited the home of The Three Bears
Tasted all their porridge and then went upstairs
She broke the baby's bed
When she had sex with Fred
Oh, the stories I could tell about her affairs!!!
She loved hassling and teasing Little Boy Blue
Tied him under the haystack, that nasty shrew
The boy was found near death
Gasping for one more breath
When he was rescued, Mary cried out, "Oh, POOH!"
Mary is jealous of those who are witty
She's rather surly, and not very pretty
Thinks her beliefs are right
Careful or she'll backbite
Read about it in a poetic ditty
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, you'll go to hell
Burying pretty maids amid your cockleshells
It's a crime and a sin
Now, it's done you in
It happens when against the truth one rebels
Copyright © Jenna Logan | Year Posted 2021
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