Before the first dawn broke the night,
You knew my name, You held my frame.
You're not just a judge of cosmic might,
But my "Father"—the most tender name.
When footsteps stumble, weak and blind,
And shadows stretch across the floor,
It’s Your patient hand I find,
Guiding through the open door.
You do not count my deep regrets,
Nor turn away when I am weak.
Your grace remembers, love forgets,
Giving the peace my soul would seek.
Like a father holds his frightened child
Against the booming thunder and the heavy rain,
Your quiet voice, so calm and mild,
Whispers that I will rise again.
The grandest King, the Creator, the greatest Architect,
Who spun the stars and set the sea,
Yet stoops to love, shield, and protect—
A perfect Father, holding me.
Lord,
I’ve forgotten the password of my heart.
I tried three times,
and now my soul is temporarily locked.
Please send me a verification code,
a dream, a rain,
or at least a knock on the window,
so I know you still exist.
I opened the Holy Book in my browser,
but it loaded slowly,
and the angel on the right is on leave.
I write prayers in the chat,
but the reply comes
with an automatic message:
“Your request is important to us.”
Time hurts me, Lord,
like an endless notification.
My longing refreshes itself,
my hopes empty from the cache.
And yet,
when night falls and heaven is quiet,
I feel you refreshing me within,
like a Father who still believes
the prodigal son will log in again.
My baby's never got to be insecure.
Truth is he is the only one I want to nurture.
My neighbours are just my found family.
My only friends where I live here really.
My home girl is more like a mother figure,
My former home boy was like a father figure,
My two friends are each more like a brother,
My other gals are just each like a sister.
My building is where I feel the least lonely.
My love is why I am now even more happy.
My life is not always the most lovely.
My homies are the ones who make it lively.
My love life is so much better than before.
My love loves me back like it isn't a chore.
Even as I spend time with them, I'll love him,
For with him, life will never again feel grim.
All around, smoke ribboned from ashtrays
and mushroomed on the stained ceiling.
There, in the corner, F. Lee Bailey glared,
like a father watching his ill behaved children,
but, as children do, they ignored him.
Irving Kanarek leaned on the far end of the bar.
He was equally ignored,
as barristers sought their pecking order
in a gaggle of egos.
Over the bar a sign hung, "The Bench",
where ironically, the bartender, in jest,
would be asked to "judge" the winner of some petty spat.
Conversation was tediously interrupted as night progressed,
"Objection your honor,l he's badgering the witness"!
"Objection sustained" would ring out from behind the bar,
but amidst all the pseudo legalese, a pall hung ~
draping down the walls like smoke.
They must laugh for sanity but
the killer set free, who would kill again
became the dragon in the room
that would follow them home...
Note: F. Lee Bailey defended the Boston Strangler. OJ Simpson and others
and Irving Kanarek defended Charles Manson
They said love was tender,
so I offered my throat
to your ghost-mouth,
let your breath curl into mine—
viscous as syrup left out,
subject to the shape of its jar.
Your bombardment
of devotion felt like hail,
each for your own good
sharpened
to a fine mother's edge.
A crate arrived
that you wouldn’t let me open,
labeled not yours,
but warm to the touch,
and I swear
I heard it weeping.
When I finally pried it open,
the dark inside eclipsed me,
but not like the moon—
like a father
who's sat too close in the pew.
No light gets in.
No light wants to.
I closed it back up
before you came in.
Then we went to breakfast.
A feather falling, floating, following my life in endless space
Meeting sunsets on oceans in pinks, reds and delicious orange spread across horizons
Passing in slow motion as birds squawk goodbye flapping wing
Red skies this morning my heart pounds to a quick
Anxiety runs, fleeing from memories where you held me like a stuffed toy cuddled
A future we thought we knew blew across my face spilling wet grief
The course of love like jewels fallen from heaven meet the ground
Treasures buried in sightless time
My heart was a gift without threads to mend it
I knew you with a touch in waves moments that defined us
In a tragic second shadowed memories my gift my grief
Our children at hand kissing your passing in love with trembling emotions
Your ghost haunts my life, floating like a falling feather in endless space
Why?
Dear Lord
What if I told you today
That I wasn’t sure what to do
With this life you gave me
And asked if I could turn it in for a new one?
Would you be disappointed with me
Like my mother was the day I told her
What my father was doing to me
Would you call me a liar
Even if I was telling the truth
Only because what I was saying
Threatened your peaceful life?
I know you weren’t there
The day he threw me out of the house
It was dark and cold I felt so alone
I couldn’t hear your voice
Where were you Lord
I want you to smile at me like a father
Tell me I am your child
And you think I am perfect just as I am
Could you make me pure and clean
I feel so dirty all the time
You could give me a new name too
I don’t want to be the dirty name he called me
When he told me he never wanted to see me again
As if I would ever go back to his house
Well Lord maybe I’ll keep this life one more day
See what we can do with it you and me
Thank you for listening and have a good day
I often feel as though my first love is like a father:
Fulfilling my needs, but he always leaves me to wonder
If he would commit to being the one meant to be my lover.
Good works, like a father to his children, you had performed.
Their life, like honeybees preparing their comb, you had formed.
Days and nights, in their struggles, you had participated.
Yet, their blind faith and belief in false gods you had hated.
To Bethsaida, you said that it should repent from its ways.
Would plants and shrubs that hide under trees feel the spring sun's rays?
They had bogged down in whirls of sins and never repented.
Trespasses in them, like fine poison in hemlock, fermented.
Indifference, like stale sewage, brewed in Capernaum.
In senseless pleasures, they had lost their equilibrium.
They fled from your friendship as though phasmophobia.
In musings of mundane mammon, they found euphoria.
Lack of faith and panic to change had taken their deep roots.
You shook their shoots and roots to make them bring forth righteous fruits.
Jairus had faith in Jesus. He's a synagogue leader.
He was impelled to implore Jesus in his times of need.
Jesus knew his inmost heart, as he was a mind reader.
He pleaded with Jesus to heal his daughter. He agreed.
The compassion of Jesus the divine consoled Jairus.
She is not dead, he said. He called out Talitha Cumi.
All around him thought he wasn't aware of the crisis.
The girl rose up. All stood as though struck by a tsunami.
Full of concern, like a father, he told them to feed her.
They felt the Almighty himself had arrived before them.
With his affection, their gloomy existence, he did stir
Each little being, for him, was more than a precious gem.
Death is suffering; Jesus proved, life is a miracle.
When lost life is won, the joy gained is incomparable.
Dear Jesus,
Without your guidance & Holy presence Yahweh, I could never achieve
the understanding of self and others, in such a Mystical way.
Inside this grand spectrum we call Divinity we find our true home
Through Compassion & Mercy we are filled with an ocean of love
so deep, it enables us to nurture an entire Universe.
Father of mine, ease me into your peaceful presence as you would
the dove when is soars through the crystal portals of your sweet heaven.
Dear Daughter,
Breathe with me child and walk with me through the path
I will light every lantern for you and guide you into my blessed garden.
I will nurture you and tend to you, like a precious rose
make you lay still, as I teach you the Silent Prayer of the heart.
It is in my teachings that you will entrust and consign your beliefs,
etching them onto your soul right next to your hopes and dreams.
I will love you always daughter just like a father does,
forever and forever, through all of time and eternity.
I want to be closer than a tear running down your right feet I want to be your adorning man to be all God wants me to be I want to be a cold comforter for in you I see you are brighter than the sun the moon the stars to me
The God in you the same in me
I want to love you as he does I want to love with a Godly love
I want to love you like a father protect you like no other
Intimately so I receive every word I want to receive your speech every letter every word every syllable
I want to hear your voice
See the breath you breathe
I want to embrace you
Ultimately
I need to be closer than a tear running down your right feet I want to be your adorning man to be all God wants me to be I want to be a cold comforter for in you I see you are brighter than the sun the moon the stars to me
I want to be
The God in you the same in me
The God in you the same in me
I love you
6/11/24
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2024
The Lord is my friend
and I am his.
He brings me to green meadows serene and tranquil.
Together we listen to birds singing,
and his voice is gentle.
He accepts me with all my flaws
giving me all his love.
He helps me to let go of my regrets
and even when I make mistakes he still loves me.
When I am afraid,
he holds my hand.
and I feel a strength within.
His friendship means everything to me,
for we have journey far together in all kinds of weather.
He is like a father to me,
and I can depend on him no matter what.
I will never let go of his hand because we are stuck like glue
forevermore !
In the garden of memories, a bloom so divine.
A mother's love, an eternal lifeline.
Reading the holy book, a melody that dawdles on.
She was holy and a saint like persona.
Through her Guiding hands and a comforting embrace,
So many greats emerge.
Her absence, a longing I can’t negate.
Because it’s painful, but pain is all I got.
Through tear-stained skies and whispered prayer,
Her spirit lingers, a presence rare.
She was Loved, she was cherished and adored by all.
A minute spent + her, a lifetime reverberations.
The mother, the friend and the legendary Seyda Mint Sheikh (SMS).
A President, A billionaire, A beggar, she don’t tell apart.
She came, she lived, she thrived, all in a short story line.
A love so pure, now in moments, she's gone.
She was an inspiration to all,
she was remarkably unique,
she was a phenomenal woman.
She raised me up like a father, loved me as mother and respected me like a leader.
She was the greatest ever friend and
a mother +,
more importantly she was Seyda Mint Sheikh (SMS).
Sitting on me, butterflies and dragonflies give poses.
Am I not, yet, less known than my fragrant sisters, Roses?
Am I not somewhat less cared for as though nature's stepchild?
The sun and the shower on me, yet, fall tender and mild.
I'm Hope. Optimism in me, like streams towards heaven, flows
Faith, in the form of chlorophyll, wearing green costumes glows.
Love, loyalty, and destiny I divinely present
In each petal of mine dwells the Guerlain Shalimar scent.
A prosperous life, positive growth, joy, bliss, contentment
I offer optimism with a sweet psychic amendment.
Love me like a father, mother, brother, sister, or friend.
Scenting your grave, I'll dwell with you till the universe's end.
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