I step across the stone threshold, feet moving slow as a heartbeat. The quiet of the church rises up to meet you.
You are looking for a place to rest your weight, looking for eyes that will see you and stay. Instead, there is the sharp sting of a turned back.It is the heaviest kind of silence when you offer your presence and receive a departure.
I stood at the threshold of the nave,my slow steps dragging the dust of the road.I reached out a hand toward your shadow ,but you turned your face away leaving me with the cold air of the aisle.Shepherd me, O Lord.
The staff feels far off in the dark.The valleys are deep, the paths are rocky and the sheep are so numerous.I am the one lagging at the very back wondering if the gate will shut before I reach it.
Will you look down at the bruised reed? Will you call the name I have forgotten how to speak? Or am I too frayed for the pasture ,too broken for the fold?
I am waiting by the altar rail asking if there is oil enough for my head asking if I am worth the search when the night grows long.
listless
sluggish, jaded
lagging, snoozing, uncaring
exhaustion, sickness, fervor, zeal
observing, regarding, indulging
vigilant, studious
attentive
It’s Spring on the calendar, O Wow!
~ weather lagging behind, for now
Walking by the broken bridge,
Your hand in mine and your eyes shut,
Unsure footsteps lagging behind,
Until I pull you forward with a tug.
That sigh of relief when you cross,
Looking back at what you've traded,
The hand in mine just a bit cold,
But firmly still in place.
"Be brave" I say laughing,
"It's just a little height" indeed.
You huff and stride ahead,
"I'll get there, you'll see" you promise.
"What have you got to lose?
What frightens you so?" I wonder.
"What if I fall?" comes a broken whisper,
"And what if you fly?" your eyes sparkle.
That day, witnessing your unwavering feet,
As you made your way to the bridge,
I felt my heart swell and constrict,
With equal parts pride and loss.
You look back one last time,
At all that you are taking with you and leaving behind.
"She fell" they shrieked in agony,
Choosing to mourn your broken hopes.
You indeed had nothing to lose, love,
"No. She flew" celebrating the wings that set you free.
You saw the world when it was blue,
So I gave up on trying to save you now.
Inspired by song: Listen Before I Go
By: Billie Eilish
glorifying what we attain
looking at others with disdain
if our heart’s left lagging behind
methinks we still wear ego’s chain
I learned to smile with grit in my teeth,
as I watched the waves, come in, and go out.
They made a hollow in the sand,
left behind when the tide rushed out.
For whom is this hole?
I dip in the hole to swim, treading water,
kicking just enough, to keep
my nose and head,
just above the water, breathing.
To whom does this head belong?
I walk in the footprints left in the sand
by someone walking at dawn,
avoiding the long steps made
by a jogger running on their toes.
By whom were these prints made?
I call out to the gulls and terns
that pass by, calling their cries out to me.
They look back puzzled, that anyone
could be so rude, to imitate them.
To whom were these calls made?
The wind is strong and so instant,
It blows sand and spray in my face.
It mats my hair, stings my eyes,
and coats my whole body with salt.
From whom does this salt-shaker belong?
I throw a ball into the surf for a dog,
that came up with ball in its mouth.
It crashed valiantly through the waves,
returning half choked with sand grit stuck
between its teeth, and tongue lagging to one side.
For whom did I throw this ball?
leaders fill the scene.
yet progress lags behind them,
state's path stays behind.
We talk small in big spaces
Leaving the words around us empty
helium balloons floating
Wasn't my voice atmospheric
It's disappearing into the clouds
My muffled thoughts, my meaningless mumbling
Enter the room before me now
lagging emotions left in the windowsills
The sighs escaping my lips etching their homes in the fog forming on the glass
Vanishing quickly
these fleeting feelings
And me always dragging behind
Lost
Left lagging behind.
Numb, upset, unfortunate, unlucky.
Everyone else getting on with it.
But I'm left in limbo.
Brain fog adding to my fear
At a distance from them all,
Even with him, a lack of intimacy exists.
Arguing with me, no sympathy, like a stone.
‘Get on with it’ he says.
‘Stop moaning. Take action’.
So easy for him to say.
What a mess!
I walked on clouds so foolishly,
Thinking I stood a chance, so proud.
My dream was coming through.
But once again, shattered, deflated, heartbroken, I fell flat.
What a fool I was to even think for a moment it could have been me.
As if! Me? Wake up girl and smell the coffee.
You never stood a chance.
You were led up the garden path!!
It's okay for your friends to be successful but not you.
Your dream will never be! Accept it! Get on with it!
No one has threaded softly on my dreams.
They've trampled them.
I'm lost.
Cyber poets seeking buried treasure
filled with rushed rapture A.I’s hurried;
Robotic words never ringing no soul,
outraged console steady lagging;
Pop goes the weasel suddenly alive;
Bourgeois contrive it’s meant to be;
Left a jack in the box out of control
technology stole all the word docs;
Infinite is always within arm’s reach,
victims of a breach much too often;
Criminals that dip into a writer’s mind,
the destructive kind with quite a quip;
Murderous impersonation DM’s,
virtuous victim’s dark liaison;
Laying waste to the pen’s process it falls,
there’s nothing that calls or will impress;
Desperately seeking any sparkle,
you are not mortal and you’re stealing;
Cyber poets they cannot look within,
weak source of jargon without a hook.
Everyday is a struggle
lagging effects from covid and the flu
I'm tired all the time
Does anyone else feel this way?
Or am I just special?
Maturity,an eighth letter word that cannot be ignored at all
Maturity,one that cannot be jumped into little by little
A step of determination taken at a time surely needed
A step of patience coupled with hard work
Really much required and inevitable,but must also be coupled with joy from childhood to adolescence
Then to adulthood and beyond
Stay steady,gaze and running fast ahead of your time and age
Dare not,not on your life,never lagging behind you must never do
A baby sure you know can't climb trees
As surely as an adult must never stay sucking at mummy's breast
But as you go in life,hold on to this words with you,
Match into adventures with timely unprecedented rhythms into your trusted years
The color spectrum’s made up of ebony
mixed with the warmth of a lustrous pearl;
Yet we’re still focused on our differences
instead of taking in a panoramic view;
Feeding energy into separation
how can anyone relate to one another?
Black and white are every shade of grey;
None of them are miscellaneous;
Letting some in forcing others out
painting with the word ‘Inclusion’;
But the truth inside the message
doesn’t really let us all belong
any longer;
Cast out over things you can’t change
left the misfit once again;
There’s never a seat with my name on it;
Black and white are every shade of grey;
None of them are miscellaneous;
Remember that it’s really very simple:
Our blood is always the same hue;
Believing anything else wastes time
and keeps us all lagging behind;
Every soul has the same value
despite what you see with your eyes;
Black and white are every shade of grey.
None of them are miscellaneous.
Are we not our graves digging,
With the keenest interest in rigging,
The first to be buried our image;
“To Electoral Franchise: Savage?
Are we not behind greatly lagging,
When the Neutral Press we keep gagging,
The next to be silenced Plain Truth;
A despot imaged as today’s Ruth…
Often, the time to befriend hell’s thugs,
Remember they don’t need your hugs,
Lover of carpets you take to rugs;
Very few things could say ‘No’ to Drugs…
Election rigged is a virgin raped,
Never count it that you have escaped;
In the robes of Molester draped;
Don’t expect a future well-shaped.
I like to think that love
is Universal – even little
green men, on boggy worlds
having such fond capacity
like to think that stars
share brilliance affectionately,
giving an extra beam, here and there,
to a fellow where a twinkle lagging
like to think, that vagabond comets,
trade heartfelt sonnets in the passing
like to think that you would love me
forever...even if I wasn't so
poetically cute and clever:)
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