Kegs Poems | Examples

Consulting an Expert

On a winding path of friendly kegs,
I consumed warm beer and picnic dregs.
Next to me, a little buzzer flied.
I asked, would he help me decide -
potato salad or deviled eggs?

Sinatra

Leaning towards the pride of Hoboken,
I learned to listen with both ears —
And my wandering soul—
Whose cellar harbours old kegs of sweet
Songs that warm the spirits and embolden one
With just one hum of that pleasantly unique voice,
So frank and euphonious
That I crave love.

Plausible Math History

A traveler in ancient Greece
traversed a broad town square.
A bottle of mead was waiting there. 
He considered the flight of geese,

and those brimming honey-wine kegs.
He was, at first, at quite at a loss,
until, he thought, "I'll go straight across,
avoiding the triangle legs".

How far did go on the path not bent?
Our traveling friend (Pythagorus)
invented something for all of us,  
and we know how far he went.

Legends

Of Kings and Queens and magic rings

Sorcerers and Dragons

Of Knights and Squires and midnight fires

Wines from kegs and flagons

Of battles won beneath the sun

For castles in the sand

The mystery of history 

Sparks the legends of this land

Holiday Humor Limericks

Holidays are coming; the first is near
Halloween is a night that many fear
But the bravest ones boast
"I'm not afraid of ghosts!"
Until eerily haunting cries they hear.

There's feasting on November's holiday
Giving thanks for our blessings, we pray
But I burned the turkey
So, we ate beef jerky
On a table set in splendid array

Christmas; the holiday season of mirth
Jen partied until the time she gave birth
There was too much good cheer
We drank three kegs of beer
On New Year's Day, not a cent were we worth

In the Sixties

  
  In the sixties I went to university
    where I experienced much diversity

  For example, among fraternities
    mine went from ‘Kegs-a-Tappin’
    to ‘Pills-a-Poppin’ 
     ~ LSD, we were a-droppin’

  Athletics were a big deal too
    freshman year we were football champs
    senior year, listened to Led Zeppelin’s mega-amps  

  Then there was good old politickin’ 
    After Kent State life was great
    Semester cancelled, May 14 the date…
  To let us work for our 'favorite candidate'
    Mine wore 6-inch heels, raised my pulse rate…  

  Oh, I learned a whole lot in school
    ~ mostly, how to break the rules

Heaven

When I was little heaven was 

cotton candy clouds.

Dead dangling feet 

over the edge.

Shoes swaying, 

some laces undone.

I misunderstood the idea of soles

being free.

Some were barefoot.

Because who needs shoes

to walk across marshmallows?

I still believe.

I still look up.

Only now I don't search for shoes.

I search for a ladder.

*****************

When I got older heaven was a blindfold.

People died and dissappeared.

Cloud poufs became powder kegs.

Shoes abandoned in the hall

some laces undone.

I misunderstood the idea of souls

no one is free.

We all die barefoot.

Who needs shoes

to rot in a hole.

I don't believe.

I don't look up.

Now I search for rain clouds

and wait to drown.

Cinderella Faerie

Owl and moth felt the forest shift toward tree mother
It’s the faerie queen, whispered one to the other
A slight blink of a light began heading in from the east.
It’s the Cinderella faerie, suggested a frog named Meast.

The cricket arrived in seconds holding fiddle between his legs.
He was sipping a drink from one of the tavern’s yellow kegs.
The more he drank, the faster was the music that he made.
Chipmunk and mouse began dancing a jig right there in the shade.

Cinderella faerie arrived with a team of gorgeous fireflies.
Her hair was red and curly, and she had deep violet eyes.
The owl pretended difference, but he could not stop staring.
This is how we all knew he was enthralled, totally caring.

A Strange Liquid Diet

There's this roundish fellow named Moe Hyatt
  Who's beginning a strange liquid diet
    Hyatt will only drink kegs
    'No, Moe!' his poor liver begs
  Then all his innards start to run riot

Adam

all beasts came down,
every friend greeted him.
inside juice kegs lay
mounds nourished others...
people quietly roamed
seeking treasures undisturbed
valuing weathered xeriscapes –
your zoo

Halloween Table

Colorful cookies, black devil’s food cake,
hot apple cider and cool caramel crunchies.
Carrot straws and more goodies to bake,
a yummy table set with Halloween munchies.

Bring out the brownies and round soulcake,
toffee apples, moon pies, and mixed nuts.
Scatter spaghetti brains on eyeballs fake.
Serve honey nut toes in green gelatin guts.

Tiny, evil faces on purple boiled eggs. 
orange cotton candy for banshee updo.
Break out the cups for slurpee kegs.
Time to drink wicked witches brew.

Marshmallow bodies and pretzel stick bones.
Skeletons covered in ghoulish green gore.
Sharp squeaky cheese sounds eerie tones.
Eat till you’re full, then eat some more.

Deep Under the Sea

I was floating on water deep under the sea
Cold sun rays shone down I felt hot and quivery
A mermaid walked by with different sized legs
The battered dressed cod showed off his new kegs.

A bald octopus so furry, you could not see its eyes
The catfish all gathered and barked in surprise
The crabs running frantic sat perfectly still
Whales groaning their songs, laughed it was brill.

I started to feel well so went to the doctor
His name Davy Jones at top down at the locker
He told me I was dead; I felt so alive
We danced in the moonlight that morning at five.


Written 10th September 2021

For The Nonsense Rhyme Poetry Contest

Sponsored By Charles Messini

O Henry-Successions

Henry, you tried and tried and tried —
turkey legs and beer kegs of great import*
Did they get between you and the ladies,
              many of those waiting...
You got your way,
but your seeds unharvested
               after 1603.

How fair these children of a greedy king —
Edward, Mary and Elizabeth.

Edward VI, king at nine,
lives to be fifteen —
a child the whole time.

Lady Jane Grey, not one of Henry’s kids
would be royally screwed
                 after nine days,
Mary grabbed the crown, as was her due.

Queen Mary I, like her dad, caused a beheading,
Grey would wish she hadn’t stepped on her toes.
Sobriquet, quite sobering, of Bloody Mary,
vilified in Foxe’s Actes and Monuments.

Elizabeth I, the Virgin Queen, after her sister dies
in 1558. Video et taceo — she sees but says nothing.

Perhaps better to keep your trap shut in the family vault
or die trying to try and try and try to one’s detriment.

11/2/2020

*concern

A Ghostly Tear

`

O’ crooked branch and magpie’s claw,
yon rusted chains a’ sway this night
Clutch tight a sign “The Seagull's Squall”
of splintered wood and storm clouds fight
Old tavern lone this craggy shore
where angered waves accost the sand
and drenching rains from heavens pour,
whilst thunder boasts its loud command

On creaking stools with painted legs
'long the bar, a gathered crew
Expected flow from aging kegs
a frothy crown this lagered brew
Fills tankards held of one now gone
'midst pewter death in golden ale
In drunk'n stupor sorrows shown
lost at sea, his soul last sailed

Watching cloaked of shadowed mist
in darkened corner, lingered smoke
O’er long goodbyes on echoes twist 
and couraged voices soundly spoke
Weaving tales a' journeys past,
voyages beyond the deep
Ports o’ call and forth day cast,
of treasures that abound to reap  

When one, a glass above his head
beckons silence, moments slow
Respect, our mate now swallow'd dead,
entombed within the depths below
Then hearty cheers and farewell speak,
this touching scene if one would be
A ghostly tear now falls my cheek,
this fallen mate they cheer is me

Captain Steered Us To the Keys

Doctor with his lanky pirate legs
Aptly put together Gimpy’s pegs.
On the Seven Seas
Said it was a breeze
We know little about Captain Meggs

Please do not feed me your rotten eggs
Young captured cabin boy often begs
Captain liked his pleas.
Steered us to the Keys.
To secret treasure and hidden kegs!



Written 8-02-2019
Poetry  Contest: Sea Based Limericks Matching
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin

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