Heaven

When I was little heaven was cotton candy clouds. Dead dangling feet over the edge. Shoes swaying, some laces undone. I misunderstood the idea of soles being free. Some were barefoot. Because who needs shoes to walk across marshmallows? I still believe. I still look up. Only now I don't search for shoes. I search for a ladder. ***************** When I got older heaven was a blindfold. People died and dissappeared. Cloud poufs became powder kegs. Shoes abandoned in the hall some laces undone. I misunderstood the idea of souls no one is free. We all die barefoot. Who needs shoes to rot in a hole. I don't believe. I don't look up. Now I search for rain clouds and wait to drown.