I’ve been waiting for the phone to ring
there are times when I’m unsure
anticipating what the mailman brings
sometimes I feel so insecure
but I’ve got better things to do
than looking forward to
memories I have yet to make
some day with someone new
are you my future are you my past
there are times when I have doubts
contemplating will tomorrow last
sometimes I feel left out
but I know better than to wish
for the loving that I miss
heaven I have yet to taste
some day in somebody’s kiss
so until the next time I feel the need to cry
I won’t go walking in the rain
no until the next time
I see your smiling eyes I won’t fall in love again
Quirky not-quite-put-together wizard always felt half drawn
as if he had jumped from a broken goose egg at half dawn
no matter what good happened, he never felt complete or any glee
I blame his selfish mother Linda who ran away when he was three
They line the streets
In a shanty confined
The cemented floor
A cold refuge
Embracing disgusted busts of energy
Lost in the wilds
A strange world
The Privileged ones…
What can they do
To assuage this continuing distress
About 1.7 billion
Held hostage in
This grueling tunnel
Manifest in varied dimensions
They lack voice
Human dignity violated
Insecure exclusion of individuals
Habituated in marginal environments
Astronomical cost of living
Must be apprehended
Cities and states must be
Built on God’s foundation
Harbingers to this state are:
Scarce basic needs
Unwilling governments
No economic freedom
Weak rule of law
Bureaucratic burdens
Lack of industralisation
Ailing financial services
Contaminated tendencies
WATAMALA
The mind was an enemy of itself
A weapon forged by its own hands
Every thought a spiral of panic
Every decision a thought out plan
Silence became a blessing when noise is all you've known
It becomes a safe place after a war of chaos
The betrayal of your own thoughts is a tragedy on its own
To not have your own back, in a world against you
Is to have a house not a home
To be surrounded by people, yet still feel alone
A prison of your insecurities
Haunted by the ghost of regrets
Forever lingering in the deepest part of your soul
The mind a vast ocean of dead past selves
Screaming to be heard
Begging to be known
Wailing to be loved
But who could love a mind that's perception of love is non-existent
Fatigue drains the fight from the spirit
Within the mind numbness creeps
Paralysing the mind until it gives in
To a life sectioned by depression
Until the poison of self deprication becomes too much
That you fall into the state of being a zombie
Trapped inside a body you no longer own
Each day becomes a blur
A constant reminder of a life long gone
A sad ending to the person you were
I love the rainy season
Not because I'm a pluviophile
In fact, people don't understand my reason
Especially since I'm a chionophile
But, I prefer the loneliness
Over the fake talks and smiles
I am happiest in the floods, I fess
When I can't see for miles
No more awkward 'Hey!'s
When I could just say I'm sick
No more insecure pool days
With that girl equivalent to a stick
It's considered normal to be seasonally sad
Rain days even give me time off school
Without contact, it's hard to be mad
And, I can't really feel uncool
I do sometimes go out with my "peers"
Umbrellas are fine cover for a light rain
And the raindrops merge with my tears
So no one can see me break down in pain
the dogs are barking violently
at an intruder I cannot see
a delivery man comes into sight
fearing he might become their next bite
They are penned, I point out to him
He does not look confident, his body thin
He throws the package and runs off
I roll my eyes and the dogs both scoff
You will know these women when you see them
The ones full of beauty thats nice and slim
It puts you in disbelief every now and again
These women think everyone wants their man
Name brand clothes, weave and makeup tells lies
Pretty on the outside with pain hidden on inside
They try so hard because there is fear within
It's a daily struggle for them and a fight to win
It takes alot for them to try to hide their pain
Sadness basking in their glamour thats in vain
They think every woman wants to be like them
Going by titles such as diamond a precious gem
They always like to be watched and to be seen
The main ones full of attitude and always mean
They crave jealousy and want to be admired
Always smirking at men but want to be desired
Their insecurities they try their best to cover up
It's difficult with their tight pants up their butt
If they give you a dirty look or roll their eyes
Keep in mind their insecurities will die with time
‘tis not this scape judgy?
‘lo, prey on the defenseless
short of a chirp, quite rationalized
facets of your twisted facade
the soul degrading you?
despises, despises theeself
thy insecurities shall protrude
thy good and their wrong spotlighted
i won’t get ready for this world
it will get ready for me
let their hearts pound in their chest
cause I’m fighting for those who can’t fight
it’s going the hell down
FLY HIGH! No one but you has lived a second of your life
FLY HIGH! The useless always negatively lie
FLY HIGH! We’ll prove our existence to those who reject it
TO THE SKY! F I G H T !
Jealousy the sign of an insecure man
An emotion of which I am not proud
Hangs over me like an ugly dark cloud
I will control this; I know that I can
Nothing I can say will make you believe
My emotions took over Jealousy raged
An emotion that seems like a never-ending page
My heart is now broken that you might leave
You told me you loved me as a dear friend
Those words warmed deep inside
Made me smile I could not hide
This feeling I will carry to Xfinity’s end
Vocal means jealous
Inferiority complex
Instead of silence.
In the realm of shadows, a ghost did appear,
With a body of mist, she drew near.
Playing chess alone, I was startled, you see,
But she joined the game, inviting me.
"Why so scared?" she asked, with a sigh,
"People flee when I'm nearby."
"I can go," I offered, trying to be kind,
But she pleaded, "Stay, if you don't mind."
We played on, our fears aside,
In her insecurity, she couldn't hide.
But through our game, a bond we found,
In her vulnerability, beauty profound.
So let's be kind to ghosts we meet,
For beneath their fears, hearts beat.
In their insecure plight, let's lend an ear,
And show them that empathy is near.
All people are burdened with so many problems of insecurity.
It is a major obstacle that holds all of us back as a specie.
Only idiots believe fabricated, exaggerated, the same stories everyday by different insecure strangers who didn't even meet the one they judge, in person, even just once.
January 27, 2024, PST, SPC
Ignorance doesn’t ask questions,
thinks it’s weak to be confused
reliance on interpretations
doesn’t second guess the clues
arrogance shows what it knows
communicates itself with vigour
as if surrounded by those slow
to demonstrate their brain is bigger
the ignorance that lives in bliss
the arrogance to know what is
the brazen need to be the best
undiagnosed mental complex
to never admit the error you made
diverting attention onto another
critical of how others behave
claiming all they cause is bother
call them a hinderance
but one you will help
and with great significance
for nothing your self
you go from the victim treated unfair
to the selfless hero who puts himself there
talk of your friends who cause you despair
and then be the reason they get anywhere
as if you’re friends with the lowest creatures
such stupidity of the mentally weaker
and suddenly you appear such a great fella
way up high all above those in the cellar
but isn’t it so sad
to look good they look bad
when you are the perk
you better the sag
unaware that this blag
is of an insecure lad!
It’s a first glance of injury, but a forming thought of illusion
Based on a history of empty answers and polished doubt
You try and trust in your instincts formed out of heavy confusion
The past interferes with future, by history you back out
Fear of falling for a trick leads to clouded reality
So you keep your mouth shut to a creature who cannot speak
It’s none of your business but you wonder what may be
A life built on tricks or a future truly bleak
You peek into your lifetime of unseen stupidity
A linear path of a heart faded by belief in lies
There are facts and memories that constitute timidity
That leave you to fixate on whether a bird flies
-s.grace
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