Funny Iambic Pentameter Poems | Examples
These Funny Iambic Pentameter poems are examples of Iambic Pentameter poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Iambic Pentameter Funny poems written by international poets.
I was drawn to you, from the first instant
something about you aroused my senses
a message unspoken, and insistent
that could somehow bypass my defenses.
I couldn’t show it, you couldn’t know it,
so I sat quietly and ignored you.
When chasing dreams, love is unbefitting
this I’d been told, and so, it must be true.
When I met you again, you were funny,
not what I assumed, you were something new.
Hashtag, as a boyfriend, he’s been money,
such was the start of our kissing booth truth.
How valued a ventriloquist would be
to hide behind and say my inner thoughts.
I’d smile and play the stupid wood dummy
and say all kinds of truth and not get caught.
I’d let him speak for me and freely tell
as people laughed at jokes and funny times.
Yet truly I was shouting “Go to Hell,”
and using this man’s voice to say my mind.
Alive am I inside this hunk of wood.
This face that never changes its wide smile
aches from manipulation of its good
and longs for human likeness for a while.
How valued a ventriloquist would be
to let me tell the truth up in this place.
Instead of just a boxed away dummy,
he'd be the smile that was upon my face.
6/21/18
2019 Poetry Marathon Mile 11 Sponsored by: Mark Toney |
I went fishing last week with a banker
On an impressive one hundred foot yacht
But when I joked and called it a tanker
I fathomed my real big fat mouth was caught
I threw out my line, hooked one, and yanked her
But it snapped my feeble rod like a twig
Although what elevated my rancor
Was that the fish got my favorite jig
Therefore, I tried once again to shank her
With that large hook used to lift bales of hay
But in this case that didn’t help bank her
Coz once again the darn thing got away
So I stuck some bait onto the anchor
And then dropped it into the deep blue sea
But that beast pulled the yacht down and sank her
And that’s the last time that he fished with me.
David Fisher October 1, 2015 Trashed #3, sponsor, Broken Wings
Alone, she sat quite still,
her gaze full fixed ahead.
Enrapt by visions fed,
scarce breathing e’er she will
disturb perceptions’ fill; quiescent as tho’ dead.
Into the room he crept,
his probing arm around
her body, no more bound,
so quickly was she swept.
As fingers so adept, respiring without sound.
Too soon was reached his goal;
TV remote control.
Strange how Life can be more than a story
Plots and characters bring a pleasant thrill
With laughter and tears, some sad and funny
Tragedies and heartaches may bring Pain's chill.
A finite journey men must tread along
But storms and trials make it clear to me
In the end there's a Home where we belong
Our purpose is -with God we're meant to be.
Life one page at a time is no wonder
God's the Author, so trust in Him today
He knows the best- His Love stays forever
And the choice is ours to make, if we may.
As clay to the Potter, let our life be-
A masterpiece for Him all men can see.
All rights reserved~~ Cynthia Buhain-Baello~~02.10.14
My favourite comics is the Peanuts strip
Featuring 'good grief' good old Charlie Brown
Reading it takes me on a pleasant trip
Especially when Snoopy is around
Charlie Brown's faithful beagle is Snoopy
They get along with each other quite well
He can be sneaky when he is ready
Yet, just when and where, you can never tell
When Linus, in one hand, holds his blanket
The thumb of his other hand in his mouth
Snoopy sneaks in, suddenly grabs hold of it
Then runs around, spinning him all about
Yellow Woodstock is Snoopy's feathered friend
He bounces up and down when he's flying
On Snoopy's friendship he needs to depend
He alone knows what Woodstock is saying
Snoopy flies off in his Sopwith Camel
To the skies to battle the Red Baron
They both engage in a fearsome duel
Each trying to outdo the other one
Snoopy dances around when he's happy
If Lucy is close by, she must watch out
He would dance up to her very closely
Lean over and then kiss her on the mouth
19/05/2015
Batman had some guests who outdid their stay
By making a muddle with their foul play
Robin was first, yet his diet of late
Were larva and worms that slid off his plate
Spiderman came without hesitation
Except his kids caused an infestation
By crawling about for a place to spin
And webbing the doors so none could get in
He welcomed Green Hornet as a fond guest
But not all his tiny flying pet pests
Ant-man and The Wasp also brought their kids
Which added hundreds of problems, they did
As Batman fluttered behind them that night
He couldn’t refrain from taking a bite
Of heroic spawn in many guises
Coz they bugged Batman and came in pint sizes
5/14/15
For Comic Book Character Contest
Judgement is a funny thing we all do.
It's been fashionable for centuries,
Yet still we scorn those we deem judgmental.
The great Shakespeare practiced in the humours
To entice his vast audience to judge,
Yet today it's a problem to spread lies;
To voyeur someone's traits for protection.
Today, someone who values the mellow
Is prude for excluding the hot-headed;
The knowledgeable, too proud for the clutz.
And so why do we scorn the judgmental
Yet hold writers to such a high esteem?
For in our writing, we are all critics;
In our writing, we are the judgmental.
One day, a convict got away, and went out on the lam.
And on the sly, he did buy, his very own kitchen cam.
Wanting to glow, in a reality show, though not a ham.
This jailbird, much preferred, to star in the Joy of Spam.
For Rhyme Battle contest
Farmer Dan, was a gambling man, who loved to play at some cards;
So to beat the band, he tried his hand, at the other farm yards.
On one day, he struck pay day, at the home of good farmer Dow,
And walked away, with some hay, plus a seven foot tall beef cow.
Dan looked so small, beside his large haul, as they sauntered back home;
But above all, Dan was feeling tall, and called his new cow, Gnome.
Dan had the urge, to try and scourge, more farmers for some winnings,
And if he surged, he’d go splurge, with pockets that would be brimming.
His plan worked, as he clean and jerked, all kinds of swag from his friends;
Yet they were irked, and went berserk, wanting Dan to make amends.
So farmer Dow, wiped his wet brow, and sought one last game from Dan;
Though he kowtowed, he couldn’t wow, the farmers to join his plan.
Dow demanded, a game two handed, to settle up the score,
Plus he planned, to wager his land, for Gnome and quite a bit more.
Each was praying, because to stay in, they had to raise the stakes.
It goes without saying, they were playing, for more than just ‘High Steaks’.
I just can't stand poetry!
It badly boggles my brain!
I'm supposed to learn to rhyme!
But uck! You think I'm not sane?
I just can't stand poetry!
With its assonance and stuff!
"These three fleas fly in the breeze,"
I have really had enough!
I just can't stand poetry!
With metaphors I am through!
I'm becoming quite outraged!
A beast I'm turning into!
I just can't stand poetry!
Using similes? The worst!
I think we both can agree,
it's like being in jail! But worse!
I just can't stand poetry!
Personification's dumb!
I think my head will explode!
BOOM! Oww... that wasn't so fun!
I just can't stand poetry!
But I HAVE TO preach it... Grr!
I wish I had not applied
To be an English teacher!
The eucalyptus sting that burns my nose
And eyes is not enough to mask the tide,
Of eloquent free speech and purple prose,
Delivered from armchairs set side by side.
Although they are so far, they sound so close,
For sounds like ghosts traverse double wide.
From sounds within and noise without my room,
I toss and turn and find I cannot hide,
And from below the stench of death’s perfume,
From some wild thing (or tame) that lately died,
With pier and beam and axles for a tomb,
The lucky beast escaped the double wide!
Michael F Lewis
04/01/09
Hurrah! Hurrah! Three cheers for the clown!
A sing-song incantation of both old and young
His witty arsenal and outrageous antics
Kept them screaming in fits of hysterics
Why do they scream? This contortion isn't funny
I only wanted to catch a glimpse of my beloved Jenny
The joke is on you folks, you think this is just a show
But behind this carefree mask, dark streams of sorrow flow
Ah! There she is, sitting near the theatre's end
And this well- dressed fruitcake must be that new boyfriend
My eyes are burning, knees wobbling, crowd thinks I am just faking
Fools! The tears are genuine, I am really crying
Jealousy is shooting fiery darts inside my head
Three hoots for your stupid cheers, my heart is cold as lead.
Over standing ovation rings Irony's hideous laugh
Mocking the clown that played the Great Pretender part
While inside he was dying of a broken heart.
Blank Verse Rhyme
The master said “create blank verse in lines of ten”.
Form five Iambic feet without a rhyme.
“These five Iambic feet you must achieve”.
The verse will have a rhythm you can hear,
when studied closely this will be revealed.
For, lines of blank verse rhyming discontents
the master. “Do it over, take all night”!
The lines of blank verse sing a little song,
each syllable, each rhyme, you’ll hear them ring!
You’ll sing the tune of verses blank and pure.
And now I keep up with this blank verse trick,
I hear its tick ten syllables per line.
It rhymes so soft; I have it mastered now,
so naturally it falls right from my pen.
Oh, where will this blank verse rhyme find an end?
Yet, twenty lines of syllables came out
much faster still than I had thought they should.
I love each rhyme, the timing so precise,
I hope it pleased the eye and ear. I turned
it in, it came back very clearly signed
“Rejected”.
-Tiffany R-2009
The last of my tomatoes are in a basket
I keep in the corner of my kitchen shelf.
I can’t remember when I picked them
But there are much too many to eat myself.
All summer long the crop was good -
Each vine strained hard against its stake.
There was more than enough for just one man
With plenty left after what the wildlife would take.
I tended to each from seed to seedling,
And saw each mature to a full-fledged vine.
From little green spheres to red ripe tomatoes
I blushed with pride knowing these were mine.
Yet these remaining tomatoes are a curious sight,
In fact they are rather an ugly scene.
I think I have kept them much too long
Because they are once again turning green.