My school, it sucks,
it's like a hockey puck, gets hit around by other schools,
The ones that have fancy pools.
We suck at sport,
We could even go to court!
My school's name on everything,
Shoes, hats, bags, rings!
'You will be your best!' - test after test after test,
have you heard yourself teacher?
Right before you caught a cheater!
'The Power of Possibility',
What a fraud, possibility, shnility,
That doesn't even make sense,
Especially through a grammatic lens.
So if you like all of the above,
Then I am certain you will love,
The place without a pool, please!
COME TO MY SCHOOL!
Categories:
hockey puck, 7th grade, 8th grade,
Form: Rhyme
Clyde O'Toole suffered a heap of bad luck
He was beaned with a wayward hockey puck
He was heard to swear
As it creased his hair
Unfortunately Clyde forgot to duck
Entry for Tania Kitchin's "Limerick Fun Poetry" Contest
(PS/31 August 2020)
Won No. 3 in the contest
Categories:
hockey puck, hockey, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Lecherous Luther was wont to grope
He ceased to function at the end of a rope!
Here lies Cletus as stiff as a board
He slipped on the ice and busted his gourd!
Here rests our dear Ruby who failed to duck
She was beaned on her noggin by a hockey puck!
Egbert the boxer took a fatal jab to the jaw
He died on the spot for failing to yaw!
Interred below is Purvis rigid and prone
Alas, he choked on a chicken's bone!
How we lament the loss of Naomi our sister
She was whisked up and away by a Kansas twister!
Dudley kept in shape by regularly joggin'
Alas, he tripped and fell crackin' his noggin!
Phineas was laid to rest for his eternal snooze
He died too young because of his fondness for booze!
Wilfried didn't heed the warning regarding the curve
He met his doom in a Lamborghini for failing to swerve!
While breaking a bronc Tex was abruptly unhorsed
Perhaps the task would've gone better outsourced!
Categories:
hockey puck, death, fate, humorous,
Form: Epitaph
Why does love always feel like a stick in my eye
When I constantly reach for the sky
Looking for the answers why
It's kicking my butt and leaves
An empty feeling in my gut
Instead of chasing woman like a rutting buck
I always get stuck with the ones
That want to run amuck
I have no luck even sold my truck
Thinking that love has struck
Instead, I got smacked around like a hockey puck
Talk about a man with bad luck
I try to stay as far away
From that kind of women who plays that way
But they always seem to latch on to me
I'm so lonely I just want to be happy and free
Have a life full of mystery
A love that makes life snug as a lug
Not one you can stomp on like a bug
Or one you can just sweep under the rug
I need to change my ways
So I can find a woman who doesn't play that way
It seems like they all know what to say
Before I know it I'm saying goodbye
Because it just feels like another stick in my eye
No matter how hard I try
Oh lord why does this keep happening to me
I pray you bring love my way today
That will make my life as it should be
With a wonderful woman beside me
Categories:
hockey puck, anxiety, god, goodbye, how
Form: Rhyme
Warning, if you are under 60 you may not "get" some of these.
Mohammad Ali
taunting with poetry,
his opponents he'd zing
as he danced 'bout the ring.
Graham Kerr "The Galloping Gourmet"
oft with our minds he would play.
Why else would he pick
the dessert "Spotted Dick"?
Ichabod Crane
rode down rode down the lane.
From the Headless Horseman he'd flee
while on his saddle he peed.
Abbot & Costello,
two funny fellows
were very immersed
into whose on first.
Ed Norton
couldn't laugh without snortin'
which would quickly annoy
old Ralph Boy!
Professor Irwin Corey
told confusing stories,
You'd listen and listen till your eyeballs would glisyen
and not understand what you're missin'
Don Rickles
would offer a nose full of nickels
and got plenty of yuks calling you a schmuck
and dumb as a hockey puck.
Giuseppe "Peppino" Mazzullo,
the voice of Topo Gigio
on Ed's final night
said "Eddie, kessa me goo' night!"
Jack Benny
wouldn't lend you a penny
nor spend a dime -
died when he was 80 at the age of 39.
Categories:
hockey puck, fun,
Form: Clerihew
Of all the foods in all the lands of culinary charm
There is but one offender my taste buds can’t disarm
While others may enjoy it, perhaps fried or as pate’
I would rather eat a heaping pile of fresh steamed hay
Some may like it on white bread or in a Shepherd’s Pie
I’d prefer a great big slice of pie that’s made of fly
So be it Chicken, Calf or Cod, not to mention Duck
I would favor meatloaf made from ground up hockey puck
To this day, the only food that makes my stomach quiver
Is the gastronomic venom that’s known to the world as “liver”
Categories:
hockey puck, food, humor,
Form: Rhyme
You see there's a nice man.
He's Mister Ice Man.
And Mister Ice Man.
Skates on a hockey team.
Mister Ice man.
Hockey stick in hand.
And Mister Ice Man.
Do the best you can.
Just slap that hockey puck.
Show your golden luck.
Your hockey team.
They're always on the scene.
Your hockey team.
They're skating in between.
Mister Ice Man.
You're a nice man.
Mister Ice Man.
You do the best you can.
Mister Ice man.
Hockey stick in hand.
Mister Ice Man.
You do the best you can.
So just take a second chance.
Try a second glance.
Slap that hockey puck.
All across the floor.
You see, Mister Ice man.
You're a nice man.
You see, Mister Ice man.
You do the best you can.
Mister Ice man.
Such a nice man.
Just do the best you can..
Hockey-Sports-Song Poem By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 1987,2009..
ALL rights reserved..
Categories:
hockey puck, hockey, song, sports,
Form: Ballad
To the most ardent fans, this year has been hell.
There are plenty of idle hockey rinks throughout the NHL.
With season ticket holders, this has not been nice.
They want to see their favorite players roughhousing on the ice.
The team owners have been staging a lockout.
Will there be hockey games this year? There is increasing doubt.
In the National Hockey League, nothing is coming up roses.
No players have been losing teeth or getting broken noses.
Nobody is slap shooting that hard rubber hockey puck.
We want to see the games played, but we are out of luck.
We are stuck with watching basketball games around here.
Perhaps both sides will come to terms and play hockey next year.
Categories:
hockey puck, business, sports, games, games,
Form: Rhyme
I've got enough paper to build a new tree
maybe i can get some kind of reward
I'm doing it all to make you happy
And maybe this will move things foward
Seeing as the drawer is stuck
And I'm being pushed around like a hockey puck
I see no reason to leave you behind
With these things I have no luck
It seems your sun's been put out
By the water coming out of my spout
I guess we'll just have to wait
Until I have another drought
This may take a long while
For i've got enough to go round
if i pass it out then maybe you'll smile
But then your friends will drown
This may cause you to look down upon me
Which you already do
But I'vegot enough paperto build a new tree
And I'd do it for you
Copyright © 2009
Categories:
hockey puck, lovemay,
Form: Free verse
Team players shake hands good luck
Shoot scores the hockey puck
The soccer player kicks the ball
The sky diver takes the fall
The football player must run fast
All winners first or last
A little white ball and a tee
A game of golf or maybe rugby
The skater twirls with such grace
The prize horse comes in first place
The Olympics draws a big crowd
Monster trucks are very loud
Base ball has the fly ball
The referee makes the call
Wrestling well i find that fake
A race with boats on the lake
Roll the ball and knock down the pins
The whistle blows see them swim
From the bleachers comes cheers and screams
Volleyball played in teams
The highest mountains they like to climb
The race car hurries to the finish line
You should really consider if your tall
Getting in to playing basketball
liking sports to watch or play
Win or loose thats okay
Categories:
hockey puck, friendship, inspirational, sports, race,
Form: Rhyme