when she took the job no one was honest at all
the dishes were stacked higher than a giraffe is tall
How long have they been like this? She asked the boss
He hemmed and hawed, and stirred up red sauce
Seriously, is this kitchen always going to be this messy?
Are there going to be dishes to the ceiling? Asked Tessy
He did not answer, but she discovered the very next day
This pile up of dishes to the ceiling is always the way
Slippery, an obstinate ostentatious otter
was determined to date my lovely daughter
I was against it said the pompous potter
such a silly idea, on which I threw cold water
There are worse men said the Potter’s wife, Cotter
This made his indignant anger grow hotter
Slippery is a good guy, argued his cousin Blotter
She is a professional scribbler, a true jotter
He is no slacker agreed his great grandma Knotter
But no one had asked the Potter’s lovely daughter
She came into the kitchen to get a drink of water
Slippery who? She asked the Potter and Cotter
They hemmed and hawed like a teeter-totter
Acting a bit stuck up like some kind of snotter
I decide who I date, stated the assertive daughter
Laughing hard now was her outspoken grandma Knotter
i love it
bioacoustics stuff
not hoots, nor twit twoo
sensory imagery
i hee-hawed
to the office
squamates and development hell
floods of tears and memories
of hungry hungry hippos
i bellowed in the closeness
the closeness of you
you go in this direction, i go in that, and we must meet.
(belt).
Postman Pat's cat is called Jess.
how cooler and grittier it might have been, had it
been called Jesse James
Heard my dad mutter, a hundred greenbacks,
you trying to give me a heart attack.
For that much money, truth be told,
that dog of yours had better crap gold.
Then dad hemmed and hawed,
grumbled and guffawed,
Wiped his lips and said with a smile,
“Just let me chew on it for a while.”
Pretty soon dad stood and said,
how about I trade you Stumpy instead.
Sonny grinned but said, don’t quite seem fair,
but if’n you throw in Sue, that’d make a good pair.
Then they hiked up their pants leg to sit.
leaned forward over the ash can and spit,
They took another drink of white port wine,
after a while dad said,”Reckon that’ll be fine.”
With a handshake the deal was done,
each one sure they just got the best one.
Then they threw away the bottle’s plug,
and sat there til they finished off that jug
If I hear one more word about that turquoise monster I will turn blue.
Like the monster, Daddy? Asked his observant daughter, little Sue.
Her mother smiled, knowing who would win this battle round.
Monsters are not real, Daddy said. Sue replied “They live underground.”
They are fabrications, fakes, fantasies, faerie tales, Daddy said sternly.
Little Sue clamored up and sat on her Daddy’s favorite left knee.
But you can save me from them, because you’re my hero, right Dad?
Mommy knew this would be the best conversation they would ever have.
Daddy hemmed and hawed and finally asked “Where do they live?”
Downstairs in the storage room, with that ugly lock from Aunt Viv.
Okay, Daddy said to her. We will march down there and see.
I would rather stay here, Sue said. I like your favorite knee.
The adults pussyfooted and hemmed and hawed
Not calling him out for his atrocities or lack of integrity.
But a child came by, who understood the importance
and the integrity of her own inappositeness
So she let him have it, revealing his truth like no other
She exposed him, accidentally shaming the grown ups
Her comments were timely and pertinent.
As her mother, I was proud of her mightiness.
As a learner, I was taught by the best.
And she was only five at the time.
Jack's wife went and burnt his favorite stew
He came home, kissed her, said: "Honey, what's new?"
Poor Jane hemmed and she hawed
Then husband Jack guffawed
Asked: "So what is it that smells like a shoe?"
An emperor spoke in poetic verse
Which led to fame for him at first
But after some time, it became a curse
For the Emperor had no prose.
Poetic measure determined his fate
The body politic could not relate
Leaving people in a befuddled state
Yes, the Emperor had no prose.
Seeking solutions from all his wise men
Beseeching them each, again and again
"When will poetic proclivity end?
For I'm the Emperor and have no prose!"
Long and hard, the wise men thought
With no answers to the solutions sought
So they hemmed and hawed, yelled, argued and fought,
Still, the Emperor had no prose.
The Emperor ended his quest in time
No cure for his affliction could he find
Relinquished the throne and became a mime
At least he was able to pose!
i remember
first when i sat
i saw blue turn to
red but instead thought
this is where
the get has got
so i as a bird needn't
pee a pissing trail to tell
hey this is
me simply sitting
on a branch thinking
this or that but can't seem
to see yet
suddenly i find
i've found a place
a waste of nesting space
she knew she
had a space to give
for me to begat where
it was always at so i sat
and hemmed and
hawed and in her
afro saw a place to
place my nesting space
she willingly
gave to my give
and i went and did
what did and less then
suddenly
loving eggs
turned to chirps
what it was worth
someday
they needed
to fly away and
find what kind of world
would be
waiting for to
see bringing love
upon her and her hair
Our newest principal will arrive, ready to change all of our existing programs.
I heard this two weeks before her report date.
Her small non-listening ears will be closed as tightly as her heart.
I was emailed this on a Sunday night, but did not see it until Monday.
While eating my yogurt I overheard my co-workers getting up a little petition
and none of us had actually met her yet!
Whisper. Whisper. Giggle. Whisper.
I could feel my eyes rolling.
Incredulous that anyone over twelve
messed with petitions; let alone more than one of them.
Someone relatively new who had never responded to two weeks of "hi"came in at 9
to ask for my signature.
I hee-hawed her out of my space.
Mrs. Will Change Everything started work at 10:30.
She was offensively decisive, assertive, confident, smart.
I could see what they were afraid of.
She cared nothing about social cues, or getting along.
She was here to do her job.
We became
Instant
Lifelong
Friends.
Hit Trump In Head with Hammer
When we saw Trump's use of grammar,
Wanted to hit his head with a hammer;
Idiot complete,
And will repeat;
Himmed and hawed around and did stammer.
Jim Horn
(Un)Happy Hour
Bob went to the doc with pain in his rear
Walked with a limp and was "loaded" with fear
doc hemmed and he hawed
amazed what he saw
Stashed deep in Bob's butt were two pints of beer
The Seven Deadly Sins held a conference deep within
my fragile, mortal soul with destruction as their goal.
Pride took the role of lead, but was monopolized by Greed;
Sloth paid no attention; Anger interrupted the convention;
Envy held a jealous hunch; Gluttony moved they break for lunch;
Every member knew they couldn’t trust, any suggestions made by Lust.
As the sins hemmed and hawed, Faith and Hope built a wall
around the deadly caucus, among all the raucous;
Love put a lock on the door, holding the sins in evermore
as Empathy and Charity, planted seeds inside of me.
Even though I know that they’re there, and I carry them everywhere,
As long as I remember lessons I’ve been taught, their discussions will come to naught.
Written and posted on 1/23/2016 for the Deadly Seven contest.
My new striped sneakers might be cool
Or creepy, I can’t tell.
The price was right and socks or not,
They fit me very well.
With rounded toe and laces black
And soles both thick and white,
They make my feet resemble boats
Yet still, they look all right.
I hemmed and hawed inside the store
And then made my decision,
Expecting that my spouse would look
At them with some derision.
But he was undecided, too,
So this was his reply:
“Pharrell* could wear those and on him,
You know they’d look real fly**.”
They’re on my feet right now and there
They will reside a spell;
But still, they might be creepy -
After all, I’m no Pharrell!
*Pharrell Williams
**cool (not my husband’s exact words, I must admit!)
There once was a man who swallowed a bug
Put his hand in his mouth and started to tug
He hemmed and he hawed
Even pulled out a saw
Now he smiles with only one tooth on his mug
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