Best Hawed Poems
An emperor spoke in poetic verse
Which led to fame for him at first
But after some time, it became a curse
For the Emperor had no prose.
Poetic measure determined his fate
The body politic could not relate
Leaving people in a befuddled state
Yes, the Emperor had no prose.
Seeking solutions from all his wise men
Beseeching them each, again and again
"When will poetic proclivity end?
For I'm the Emperor and have no prose!"
Long and hard, the wise men thought
With no answers to the solutions sought
So they hemmed and hawed, yelled, argued and fought,
Still, the Emperor had no prose.
The Emperor ended his quest in time
No cure for his affliction could he find
Relinquished the throne and became a mime
At least he was able to pose!
(Un)Happy Hour
Bob went to the doc with pain in his rear
Walked with a limp and was "loaded" with fear
doc hemmed and he hawed
amazed what he saw
Stashed deep in Bob's butt were two pints of beer
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
David Brown, August 12, 2015
David had a moustache
It covered his lips
It grew and it grew
Till it reached to his hips
It flapped in the breeze
And it frightened small dogs
In the winter it would freeze
And in the summer catch frogs
His friend Juliet, well
She begged him to trim it
She said that his moustache
Had gone way past the limit
He hemmed and he hawed
And he dithered and dathered
But the moustache said 'No!
I will never be lathered!'
Juliet would not waver
She said 'It must go!'
‘It may have looked like your dad's,
but that was MANY years ago!’
The moustache, it quivered
It trembled and dropped
It knew Juliet was a woman
Who couldn't be stopped
It said 'Goodbye David
you will surely be missed,
but your lip must get naked
If you want to get kissed!’
The Seven Deadly Sins held a conference deep within
my fragile, mortal soul with destruction as their goal.
Pride took the role of lead, but was monopolized by Greed;
Sloth paid no attention; Anger interrupted the convention;
Envy held a jealous hunch; Gluttony moved they break for lunch;
Every member knew they couldn’t trust, any suggestions made by Lust.
As the sins hemmed and hawed, Faith and Hope built a wall
around the deadly caucus, among all the raucous;
Love put a lock on the door, holding the sins in evermore
as Empathy and Charity, planted seeds inside of me.
Even though I know that they’re there, and I carry them everywhere,
As long as I remember lessons I’ve been taught, their discussions will come to naught.
Written and posted on 1/23/2016 for the Deadly Seven contest.
There was a fussy old toad, yes; some might call him, a curmudgeon, at soul.
When his ladylove died, he took it in stride, and sought someone else to pester.
Eventually, he came to our lake, and jumped on the Troll Bridge, quite blazon.
Trouble in his eyes, he met the trolls, eye for eye, and with strength, blustered.
“I’m King of the Hill”, he spat out, ignoring the clubs and frowns… all about.
Grandpa Troll looked at the toad, and got ready to do battle, quickly…at that.
I chimed in, “They’re renters my dear. You’ll have to fight me, it’s clear. So dropout.”
“And I’m too worn out, for a silly old toad, who jumps like a gnat, now, scat.”
“I’ll have this bridge”, he said, “I’ll fight you anywhere, so be very, greatly, prepared.”
“I’m worn-out”, I said, “But battle we will. I’ll win! So look where you tread, instead.”
I said,“You challenged me first, so I’ll pick the test, you’ll play Grandpa Troll at Chess”.
Amazement filled the toads eyes, but to my surprise, he took the bait. Rather smart.
Now Grandpa Troll is a whittler. “I’ll commission your own home bridge, if he loses.”
“At the end of the lake, you’ll have a home place. If you lose, you’ll learn to whittle!”
The old toad looked me over, and with a frown, then ask, “What good is whittling?”
“You could make a chess board like no other, Toads verses Trolls, in war forever!”
He agreed that was quite a stake! And knew he couldn’t lose, the old reprobate!
Still he haggled, to strike a better bargain, and he Hee Hawed around for more.
Now, Grandpa Troll had never lost a game. Still we upped the ante, just the same.
“If you lose, I’ll build you a home bridge… if you teach the youngun’s, chess, instead.”
Now, he was sold! So off they did go, playing chess and whittling, by the seasons.
You know, I’m trying to be a writer, but the interruptions seem to always get harder!
So as you can see… With situations and things such as these …
I’ll just have to keep trying harder, and harder…
There once was a man who swallowed a bug
Put his hand in his mouth and started to tug
He hemmed and he hawed
Even pulled out a saw
Now he smiles with only one tooth on his mug
How I Got Started
I had to write a poem for Nick
His kindy teacher said I should
Hummed and hawed, prevaricated
Before deciding that I would
Miss Fordyce was so enchanted
She read it out to all the class
Didn't know the seed she planted
It's growing now like mondo grass
I’d read a little bit of Burns
In school it was compulsory
Never paid too much attention
It never seemed to interest me
Spent many years without knowing
The wonder written words expose
The problem is my ignorance
I can't tell poetry from prose
I know not of techniques and terms
The rules of rhythm and of rhyme
I only know the sounds that please
And hope to learn them all in time
Some words that I have never heard
Iambic? haiku? what are these?
As far as my poor brain can tell
They’re double Dutch or Japanese
But I feel I’m slowly learning
By seeing what the friends portray
On this site of clever poets
And think that I am here to stay
Written: Margaret Foster: march 2010
Contest: What brought you to poetry. Dec 2011
sponsor:Michael J Falotico
My new striped sneakers might be cool
Or creepy, I can’t tell.
The price was right and socks or not,
They fit me very well.
With rounded toe and laces black
And soles both thick and white,
They make my feet resemble boats
Yet still, they look all right.
I hemmed and hawed inside the store
And then made my decision,
Expecting that my spouse would look
At them with some derision.
But he was undecided, too,
So this was his reply:
“Pharrell* could wear those and on him,
You know they’d look real fly**.”
They’re on my feet right now and there
They will reside a spell;
But still, they might be creepy -
After all, I’m no Pharrell!
*Pharrell Williams
**cool (not my husband’s exact words, I must admit!)
PLAY BALL
So I’m behind the bleachers with Sue Ellen
And we weren’t calculating batting averages
And I says to her baby you’re my home run
I’ve always dreamed about.
I know about first and second base
She said, but what’s third base?
So I used the Abbott and Costello
“Who’s on first” routine to confuse her.
Between innings we had made some progress
But I was anxious to clinch the game
Before some pinch-hitter stepped in.
I wanted to take the pennant.
She hemmed and hawed and delayed
Playing ball with me : what we had here
“Was a failure to communicate” ,
And the home run seemed out of reach.
Till there was a hush from the bleachers.
Above us the voice, seeming of god,
Instructed her as what to do.
It said, “Play Ball !”
That was my first turn at bat
And the home run was delivered -
As the crowd above cheered wildly,
I believe, for me.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Written for Debbie Guzzi's Contest "Play Ball"
4/14/02
You asked me one day if it would be okay if we could consecrate our love
I told you that I was still a virgin and that my stuff was precious to me from above
At this point in our relationship you told me that you loved me
At least one time you did decree
Several times throughout we kissed, we fondled one another
You were such a gentlemen and you said you understood my brotha
And that me being a virgin wasn’t a bother
It’s been six long years, these days baby that’s a long time
One day you took it upon yourself to pop the question about love sublime
“DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU WOULD BE THE ONE
THAT WOULD DEVIRGIN-IZE MY BEHIND AND PLACE ME UNDER THE GUN”
You begged and you pleaded for just a little squeeze
Just to let you smell my nature, you said: “PLEASE BABY PLEASE”
I gave into you and said just a little peek but you must not tell cause,
This is on the down-low you know on the sneak
You tipped right on through
You tickled me, you wiggled you moved all about. It was oh so sensual
I never felt anything so emotion-felt, in all my days
I began moving about in many, many ways and at this point my virgin-est behind
Wanted to know how the un-virgin lays
He moaned than I, as he tried entering my anatomy, he made me yell out and cry
I don’t need no baby daddy right now, I’m to young
My mom and dad would die
He stuck his tongue into my ear, then licked me down as he began to lie
He said: baby girl believe me when I say this; I’m a man not a boy
I take full responsibility for all this joy
I’m not ready to be your baby daddy
That’s when I said: “BOY DON’T BE COY”!
He said I got protection for me and you,
Now let’s get down to the business at hand,
“You know I love you Boo”!
I knew I had love for this brotha, but what I wasn’t sure of is,
If what we had between the two of us was enough to become a father and a mother
All of a sudden something clicked; that’s when I belted out:
“GET UP OFF OF ME, SLICK”
Get you lying tail off me, quick!
I remember you now, you’re the joe-blow who’s face was plastered on
America’s most wanted
The most wanted dead-beat dad, labeled low-class!
He hemmed then hawed, trying t get back in, buut my still virgin behind got my head on
straight to continue with my dignity and grin.
The Wisemen were summoned to Herod’s palace, a night so fine.
He wanted to know when the star in the east rose, so sublime.
They hemmed and hawed for a while, for they figured out why
He was so keen on learning of the prophetic star in the sky.
Many children up to age two, were slaughtered, due to Herod’s fear,
The wise men did not seek their savior for another year.
The shepherds spoke of the star, but who heard? A few relatives, and sheep.
Baby Jesus was spared, one two-year-old, whose mother did not have to weep.
The manger scene we see today, although beautifully done, shows a bit of drama,
It makes things seem more Christmas like, seeing Jesus in a manger with his mama,
His daddy, Joseph standing by, the blessed family surrounded by angels, and animals galore.
Traditionally the scene is limited to three Magi, whereas, we believe there were many more.
It makes sense that there were maybe a dozen in this story of old.
As they were carrying precious cargo – valuable frankincense, myrrh, and gold.
According to Matthew, Jesus was a young child, of about two when they arrived,
Not a babe who would have fit in a tiny manger, that part of the story was contrived.
No matter what you believe, if you have heard the story, and feel in your soul it is true,
That alone should bestow blessings, faith, and love on a Christian soldier like you.
Hit Trump In Head with Hammer
When we saw Trump's use of grammar,
Wanted to hit his head with a hammer;
Idiot complete,
And will repeat;
Himmed and hawed around and did stammer.
Jim Horn
Impeachment of Trump, a hoax and a witch hunt....
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2020
Impeachment Of President Trump Dismissed - It Was A Hoax
http://malaysiansmustknowthetruth.blogspot.com/2020/02/impeachment-of-president-trump.html?m=1
????????
Walaowey.....
All that high drama and witch hunt after the sitting President...
After all the many unthinkable affirmative actions he had done...
A visit and a handshake to defuse tensions with NKorea....
A monumental decision to recognise Jerusalem as Israeli capital....
After the many past Presidents who balked, hemmed and hawed, dithered...
But lack the balls and the decisiveness of Trump, a shrewd businessman who became the US President....
He dared build a physical wall against the influx of illegal Mexicans ...
An initiative unthinkable for a land long touted for her freedom and golden opportunities....
Now that the whole impeachment debacle has run its course...
The final decision has demonstrated that it has been a long and expensive hoax....
And Trump the businessman who became a President...
Has been cleared of all those charges of misusing the powers of his position...
All through the trial by the media and the glare from adverse publicity from the Democrats....
He continually executed his presidential functions with greatness of America firmly in his sight....
Yesterday, in the wake of his latest triumph at the impeachment trial....
Dow Jones market jumped a massive 450plus points to spearhead financial markets the world over....
Long live this American President, he is heads on and on course for another new term....
Jack's wife went and burnt his favorite stew
He came home, kissed her, said: "Honey, what's new?"
Poor Jane hemmed and she hawed
Then husband Jack guffawed
Asked: "So what is it that smells like a shoe?"
Two guys at the corner of Fifth and Grant,
were looking pretty far down on their luck.
Because their beat-up old station wagon,
just got T-boned by a Ford pickup truck.
The light was green for that station wagon,
but that truck just slammed right into their car.
After they all got out and walked about,
looked like that truck driver came from the bar.
That station wagon was a mangled mess,
one guy had some blood oozing from his head.
I said to myself, it could have been worse,
thank Heaven nobody’s bad hurt, or dead.
The cop showed up a few minutes later,
asked them what the heck was going on here.
The truck driver said, Billy Bob old friend,
those boys there smell like they was drinking beer.
The cop hemmed and hawed then cleared his throat,
he said you know it looks perfectly clear.
I see what you’re saying is true, Judge Brown,
these boys will be locked up for fifty years.
So, they hauled those guys to the county jail,
told them that they don’t need any phone call.
Cause if they want to get out of this mess,
the best thing was to confess to it all.
The sheriff wrote it all out on paper,
said that it was going to be all right.
He told them, sign your name here on this line,
then you might be out by tomorrow night.
The next morning, they went to the courtroom,
their lawyer was the judge’s son-in-law.
Billy Bob showed the judge their confession,
the biggest case this county ever saw.
There was murder, rape, theft, and robbery,
with a whole lot of other crimes thrown in.
Every unsolved case the sheriff had faced,
was listed in the charges against them.
The judge slammed his gavel on the desktop,
said haul these boys off to the calaboose.
What say we go down and have a few rounds,
cause this one calls for a couple of brews.
Now ain’t that just the way life seems to go,
some days it don’t pay to get out of bed.
You’ll be cruising along, singing your song,
with the warm sun shining down on your head.
Then the day starts to turn cold and dreary,
though that is not what the weatherman said.
Some dirty bird flies by and drops his pie,
now your day has turned all nasty instead.