Mom spilled hot stew, wets a pal, lap short-shorts,
Dad yelled its hot, loop pool pop dive exhorts,
Mom says not that sort of hot,
Pip, spiced hot that's all it got?
Snot tons, "Jokes--Pip, we're exports, not Hogwarts?"
I once had a buddy named Bob
He was an unbearable slob
I pressed him a suit
And dressed him up cute
He dirtied it quickly, the knob.
A jolly old gentleman from York
Had a big problem handling a fork
Ate his peas with a knife,
With dismay from his wife
And was known throughout town as a dork.
written February 4, 2022
There once was a woman from York
who used just a knife and a fork.
She tried to eat soup,
but forks do not scoop.
I’m tempted to call her a dork.
I tried to run after the midnight train
Too fast for me was abundantly plain.
Sat down with a bottle and popped a cork.
Way far gone she was. I felt like a dork.
Upon my word I had nothing to gain.
Contest: Five Word Challenge
Sponsor: Beth Evans
Written 11-22-2019
Dork Did Uncork the Pork
We just did dicover Trump is a dumb dork;
Who always likes playing around with pork;
Us over barrel,
And part feral;
More loser followers, he seemed to uncork.
Jim Horn
Dork Using A Fork Horn Hiaku
We once knew a dork;
Should eat donut with a fork;
Keep flakes from his clothes.
Let me describe he background
of how this haiku came about.
Yesterday, I had eaten a donut
with powdered white sugar on it.
The powder proceeded to end up
all over the place. This morning I
mentioned what had happened
yesterday. She suggested that I
should have eaten the donut with
a fork. I then told her that is
why a woman belongs in the
White House as our President.
When I finally found the fork
in the road someone had run
over it with their car. The fork
could no longer be used and
was bent beyond belief. Do
you think you can affork to
buy another fork for a dork?
Maybe another bottle together
we should uncork after you
arrived at bar after riding in
on a stork.
Jim Horn
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
He makes me smile,
Without even trying.
It's been a while;
Since I could say I was happy without lying.
Most girls get bears and flowers.
But something about us is unique;
You gave me sour candies and eight hours.
You make me happy in a way I can't even speak.
My dork you're the most amazing person ever.
You made me feel so belonged when I felt alone.
This day of love marks our second one for forever.
My amazing dork you showed me I don't need to be made of stone.
You make everything a little less gray;
And I'm thankful for you every day.
2/14/16
There once was a fellow from New York
This dummy was an absolute dork
He bet on the Jets
A move he regrets
He thought babies were brought by the stork
Doing something that is so
Obviously silly that people can
Really question what
Knowledge you do dare possess!
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