Goodbye my favorite forever
Eternal fragments lost in abstract soup de jour
Our handshakes full of tremors
When the memories rain it's sore
My heart in freefall, falling up and out, forever's too soon
The paragraph on the backs of pictures stabs the point home
Skeletal strangers with nothing left to prove
The distance signals in real time leaving the breadcrumbs of
jarred hearts, painted candied hearts and Pacman ghosts in slow pursuit
The light of pumpkin eyes, rhymical in pursuit of boyish daydreams
Girlish looks of starving hearts depreciated, are less than pennies now
Parting words circled in funny papers still shaking with regret
When you see me in the folded memories
Just know you're not alone
Your light smiling on in the hollows of my eyes
Smiling in hindsight begging you to come home
Begging me to be brave
Goodbye my favorite forever
You're my long way out
In fading and in passing
Set me a long way down
To sunless blinding gloom of devil,
And wrapped in dark shadows of evil,
The soulless void of faith
Would sure befall ‘pon death---
Those that in ego’s spell their soul kill. || 3 ||
____________________
Translations | 03.09.2026 | dark, death, evil, faith, Rhyming Quintain
Note: This verse says, do not kill your soul, the atman, or else, …Bhagavad-Gita also says: uddharet atmana atmanam, na atmanam avasadayet... Lift up your soul by yourself, never thwart it. He’s your friend and foe depending on how you treat it.
There is wealth of wisdom in ancient Sanskrit texts . This series on Jewels from Upanishads covers selected verses from various Upanishads of which there are as many as 120. We select a few verses only the major ones, beginning with Ishaa Vaasyam. The translation here is not verbatim but freely done. The transliteration of the verse follows. Alas I have to remove all the transliteration symbols.
asuryah nama te lokah
andhena tamasa-avrtah |
tan te pretya abhi-gachchanti
ye ke cha atma-hanah janah || 3 ||
The word a-suryah means sunless, if spelled asuryah, it would mean barbaric or evil.
THE NIGHTJAR
How slow
Blood spreads
The ripple's last ring
How still her step
The edge of dreams
The bell`s cold lip
The hammer`s kiss
How time has swept
On that last swing
A room where Death
Refused his leave
An honored guest
Still one so grieves
There'll be no rest
Next nightfall brings
I'll stay my breath
The Nightjar sings
NEXT EXIT BABYLON
They raised their cups
Splashed their wine
It ran with blood
through vein and vine
Where Satyrs' hoofs
Pawed with fight
Tunics fell
Laurels twine
Lips were bit
Breasts were held
Brands, hot, brought
The coals of Hell
Seared the flesh
With Saturn's breath
Number-Lot
To buy and sell
On tables, neat
Both man and Beast
Blessed their bread
Cursed their meat
Great hills of brick
They pulled the dead
Like babes, reborn
Out crawled the sick
The dogs wore crowns
Of broken bone
Like sacred cows
Left free to roam
They raised their snouts
Bared their teeth
Barked and growled
And joined the feast
*continued from pt 2*
Our physical bodies are numb, and our souls, tormented. It’s why some of us hurt ourselves. We feel a lack of purpose, draining our desire to go on. With no purpose, no love, and nothing but brutal lapses in our thoughts and emotions, will we ever be able to break free?
We are the ones who wish to die and escape this world in hopes of finding a better life after death. Our only hope is put into things we cannot see or feel. And that lingering, underlying hope is what will either keep us alive to see another day, or it will be what sends us on. Peace is what we are in pursuit of. To bad we’ll never know when and how we might attain it until its already too late.
Please read parts 1 and 2 for a fuller picture on the state of mind of those who struggle with severe depression, mental illness, and suicidal ideation.
Thank you for reading.
My Soul is Tired
Sometimes the darkness can swallow you whole to where there's no end in sight. The soul struggles and fights praying to be guided to what's right, but the darkness over comes and the soul becomes numb to all the pain and suffering you've witnessed throughout your life. Your soul reads like a novel every page engraved of your struggles. You often re-read those pages to make sense of it all praying the ending will bring fire to your soul. The pain, the suffering, the good and bad had penetrated your soul by all you've had. Your soul can only observe so much suffering before tiredness sets in and there is no light only darkness within. The soul must sleep and write the end of the novel of your life from beginning to end.
Send us to flame, Your holy fire.
Test marrow, strip our cloaks of dust.
The scorched cry beneath the empire.
Their dreams are ash, yet bound by trust.
Test marrow, strip our cloaks of dust.
Find the few who break yet endure.
Their dreams are ash, yet bound by trust.
A balm to wounds ancient and pure.
Find the few who break yet endure,
Give them the world, awash in grace.
A balm to wounds ancient and pure,
The meek who walk a ruthless place.
Give them the world, awash in grace.
The scorched cry beneath the empire.
The meek who walk a ruthless place,
Send us to flame, Your holy fire.
Jaun Elia:
She came to my grave with her new beloved,
Who says that one cannot be burned after being buried?
Mohit Rahinj:
I did not die among the people of this world,
Someone killed me.
It was my beloved’s ploy,
A conspiracy to burn me even after burying me.
She did not let me live while I was alive,
Nor did she let me depart in peace after death.
She is burning me even after I have died,
She is not letting me find peace even after death.
She did not let me live when I was alive,
And when I was on my way to paradise, she did not let me go.
She is still burning me even after death,
Look at all the things my beloved is doing for me.
My beloved, you have already taken my life,
Now, must I surrender my words to you as well?
The flawless Nebraskan sky hummed her blue tunes as I drove to work along that silent gravel road. Elegant white clouds wept as they gazed upon the chaos and dead innocence unfolding across the country.
I stared ahead as adrenaline carried me toward town and the need to begin again. The sounds of screams that had jolted me from my television still jolted my heart. Fireballs of horror exploded within my frightened soul.
Hours passed as I tortured my mind with gruesome details no one should ever have to know. Falling bodies and broiled flesh were too horrifying to imagine. The thought of a looming war was beyond my comprehension.
One quarter of a century has passed since that unimaginable Day.
If you don't remember that Day, then I envy you.
If you do remember that Day, then I hope Peace has adopted you.
Stalker
Revelation 21:4
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”
King James Version (KJV)
The scary thing, the scariest thing
Is it hell? Could be hell
For me, the thought of leaving this earth
Without Him…
To escort me from earth, to everlasting
To usher me from death, to life eternal
To shepherd me, from darkness to light
The scary thing, the scariest thing
Is the hell that is hotter than a fire
The hell where God’s love is never
A place where God’s light can’t fill up the shadows
Hell is a place where a soul will never know
The sweetness of peace that is death’s great relief
The blessing of a light that shines, forever bright
The beauty of heaven, where He is wiping away tears
Heaven, where He is there to reveal
Heartfelt joy, everlasting wonder
Melodies so rich, like honey, sweeter
Sweeter than the moment of birth
So that death, the dreaded stalker
Fades into the Presence who is eternal,
Full of love, His Son will comfort the soul supernal
Ancient scrolls foretold
Dread the dead kings reckoning
Cursed crypts of gold
Death is not the enemy you believe
And death isn't what you should fear
Death we all shall truly desire
For only death makes troubles disappear
Death is not some fancy illusion
Full of smoke and mirrors to deceive
Death offers to relieve your troubles
And will accept all it can receive
With death there's no worries or regrets
Any wrong or mistakes they slip away
They all vanish and bother you no more
There's hardly any cost you must pay
What death offers no one can match
Nothing else can do what death can do
You want peacefulness to fill your life
Isn't the cemetary peaceful to you
The shadows are as yellow
As bloom as the grey
As dark as the meadow
As gloom as the wave
As light as the crow
Through drunken haze
And as white as the terror
When put to the chase
The sounds are as silent
As whispering as the trees
As loud as the tired
As quiet as the screams
As wailing as the leaf
Through highpitched ear’s screech
And as quiet as still
When the end meets the leech
The tastes are as bleak
As dull as the fruit
As sour as leaf
As honeyed as soot
As tangy as the peak
As sharp as the root
And so is the blade
I am no brute
The stenches are as honey
As sweet as the hay
As bland as the berry
As foul as the bay
As sour as dairy
Through the incense, heavy
And as sour as what’s underneath
When the dirt is no longer empty
The forest is harp
As metal as twigs
As hard as carp
As soft as sticks
Yet under my feet, sharp
And as such is my overwhelming belief
He - ‘ it ‘ won’t be missed, in the depths of a scarp
There's a new version of me here
I haven't understood her yet,
The old me from last week seems flawed
Deserving of forgiveness I guess.
How frustrating that I couldn't know
The answer before it happened,
The me that exists this moment
My soul could've had some rest.
Glistening moonlight casts a grey veil,
shining down on the boy afloat in a river.
Alone with thoughts, voices that aren’t his.
They cannot give you what you seek
The good ones are gone,
The bad ones are everywhere.
Meaningful devotion,
starving for connection.
Denied entry at hearts red gates
I’ve watched you from your cowardly eyes.
Struggling to find her,
while the world tries to make you choose.
Love is a weakness,
it’s choking you.
Sink into the darkness.
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