Today's rain is more of a doom,
But why not just spare my own room?
You just poured in without a shame
So, who will then take this your blame?
Tho', where I live is a jungle,
My life needs not be this bungled,
Because this flood was just a lot,
This is not just based on my thought.
Its' anger was unleashed too pure,
Though, not only to us, the poor,
Those at Lekki bought their own shares,
Their riches brought them their scares.
Tho' pained, but not by my soaked book,
But by the food I was to cook,
They were all soaked by this mean crook,
That turned my room to a deep brook.
My hunger cried, as the rain poured,
Everything swam, as the sky mourned,
Hunger came, as salary cried,
Debts begged, as the month-end sighed.
Gambolling along as ewe do, happy and carefree.
Ewe’d do it all over again, in the greening esprit.
Gambolling in full wool, unaware of morrow’s snip.
Ewe see only what is in fashion, not the future clip.
Gambolling with the Shepherd’s crook, behaving baa-dly.
Ewe do you, follow the sheepish crowd gladly.
Gambolling off a cliff, unless the one snatched from danger.
Ewe were there, curious and excited alongside the manger.
Gambolling strides bring you beside still waters and rest.
Ewe’re after risen sun, a greener pasture where ewe are blest.
Let Hans start reading some book:
Let him not this overlook
Or it shall him later hook
In a school they don't scores cook,
Her exit door for the crook
And who thinks he can rook...
Let him now try his textbook,
Who never his meals forsook
And sweet snacks made sure he took,
Who'd not turned-off radio brook,
For shows and concerts long look;
At Alpha Grades hungry look!
Last Christmas Eve, I met a man who was homeless, he was all alone.
I made a serious mistake when I decided to let him stay in my home.
My family and I woke up on Christmas morning and we were sad.
We started crying because that man stole every present we had.
We woke up to a tree with no presents under it.
We were very angry and I damn nearly threw a fit.
I called the police and two days later, the thief was caught.
That crook begged me to drop the charges but I would not.
After he stole our presents, he sold them and bought a lot of booze.
My family cheered when he went to jail because it was excellent news.
I tried to help my fellow man and you see what was done to me.
Our Christmas was ruined but when he went to jail, we felt glee.
The man they had remembered:
Was the smart guy dismembered:
The chap they'd shown Exit Door;
Saved not A - Shall Be - Washed Ashore...
Quiet but tricky Gordon,
A lot irked by his burden,
Thus choosing The Damned Short Road,
So as to self save gross load:
With Satan's ready assistance
Won't have to go the distance...
So, they had said to him shame;
Now, they want to him reclaim
Case of Benefit of doubt;
He would not again rules flout.
A land without a single crook,
Because criminals they don't brook:
They'd out fish them with a hook
Relying in their roguish look...
A District without a Half Crook
Battered eyes to one make a spook
And as unpleasant as damned gooks...
The criminal, without fail, cooks
First claiming that he lives took
Then, high time petty that you forsook
No one has got wings of rook
Nor in Vengeful World saved by Book.
I met a man in pink,
Who chose to freely think
That those who often drink
Are bound to sadly sink:
“No braving it to a brink;
With no sure shores a link!”
But while just this saying
Made with his glass a clink
And for a day graying
Did not quite snatch the wink
I’d espied in his look
But still stung then The Crook:
The Detective in me
My nose sure of odd Tea …
“Heh! Together we sink
For together we drink …
Both of us in a boat
You just in Liar’s Coat.
After a momentary look
And a longer one I took
At the size of her ordered wood,
While I, still stood,
I surrounded that our cook
Is some sure crook,
Her motives a completely readable book,
Her inner spirit reached with my hook…
And in her spirit saw I not a spook
But upon what I stumbled thrice shook:
I’d swear at a shrine A crook of a cook.
I'm tired of pretending
I'm perfect inside
When really I'm a monster
With secrets to hide.
I band-aid my emotions.
I filter the way I look
I expect to feel authentic
When really I'm a crook.
I'm tired of pretending
I'm ready to break free
I don't want to be a monster
I just want to be me.
So much hatred spewed but very few see.
True colors and nature of this little one to be.
Small and tiny his stature is so.
But from the lips a mighty wind does blow.
Self-righteous and blocked by many ports
A little man’s complex of sorts.
Fueled by the need for fame and clout.
But in this small simple mind there is much doubt.
Trolls they will come now and then.
Most just poke and never pen.
Lacking morals and never seeing true light.
Choosing to bully because they can no longer write.
Head held high down their nose they will look.
Always quoting from another’s book.
Lacking originality they have been shook.
Attempting to be a half way crook.
I am that lone wolf
Coming by with that look
My inner mind in a shelf
That horrid stare I took
I must save myself
By hook or by crook
I am that one alien
With an eye for detail
Lost in the Mediterranean
Alive in the form of a male
Boiling the ocean
I would never fail
By hook or by crook
I am that lonely eagle
Waiting for my target
Is it to love or is it to kill?
Some birds accept while some regret
Better keep my wings still
This I would never forget
By hook or by crook
By hook or by crook
I will starve to death
I will leave planet Earth
I will fly from the cove
To the heav’ns above
By hook or by crook
I am not a crook
just close your eyes, don't look,
these others that surround me make all the mistakes
that's why I don't give, I only secretly take
and if you give me time
there is a leader here to find.
Fake news to the left of me
the base to the right praise me on their bended knees,
and all those in between are democratic lie machines
those deceitful liars are ghoulish revengeful fiends
each tries relentless as they may
but I will never ever slip away, hear what I say.
That one there, he's a crook and a fraud
I speak plain and loud my lack of flaws applaud,
some call me a braggart, a Buffon,
a president to impeach at noon;
check out these others or that one over there
lock him up, lock her up, lock them all, let no one be spared.
Forget the FBI, the CIA, they haven't got a clue
our foreign friends' investigations alone can reveal what's true,
and my republican senate friends who do not speak,
strive in their diligence to keep me out of reach;
I'm above it all, just wait and see, I'm the President untouched
standing above the multitudes who give me their blind trust.
Crook!
She stole my guidebook,
my pink Ray-Bans, my outlook
— it’s grim. The schnook
snatched my Diamonte fountain pen. She took
my attaché case filled with cash. Forsook
my manners — she’s in my grip. A sirloin meat hook
indubitably-yes or to pressure-cook.
I turned her upside-down and shook
A nearby copper brings us in after he has a look.
The judge closed the book
on me. Called me a crook…
that schnook!
8/5/2019
CAPTAIN CROOK
The telescope-kid eyed old Captain Crook.
Underneath the waves, tic toc croc, a-shook.
His sword unsheathed, Peter Pan...
A roar of seas hits the fan...
The croc did bequeath him a hapless Hook.
7/1/2019
Tania Kitchin’s Humorous Limerick Contest
hits the fan - to have a dramatic, usually negative effect
In spite of my charms and stupendous good looks
Must be honest, I'm also a bit of a crook
I'll steal ladies' hearts
Just for a lark
Then run away chuckling at the liberties I took
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