Best Crook Poems
“Made you look you dirty crook!”
And all those colourful phrases
Have vanished from our lexicon
They now belong to the ages!
“Keep your nose to the grindstone!”
Is another from way back when
So sad they've all but disappeared
Wish they could go back again!
Since the dawn of the computer age
We speak in a different fashion
Conversing in very short sentences
Using acronyms without much passion!
We now seem to have lost the ability
To have an intelligent conversation
Emailing, texting, or some such device
Or some other glitzy presentation!
I really long for those simpler days
When people took time to listen
And all the world seemed friendlier
Now feels like something's missing!
You stole my laughter and hid it well under layers of concrete
I used a jackhammer to release them and with care
Moses was our traffic cop and we floated in opposites
Our love was stricken and the wind blew us like lonely chimes
I was your orphan taken back as a suit that won't fit
I am not a fool but was
How dos it feel on your tower
Can you see me and my clear eyes
The laughter has come back to visit
Sometimes I ride it as the sea we loved
But Moses wags his finger at me and I am reminded
“Made you look you dirty crook!”
And all those colourful phrases
Have vanished from our lexicon
They now belong to the ages!
“Keep your nose to the grindstone!”
Is another from way back when
So sad they've all but disappeared
Wish they'd come back again!
Since the dawn of the computer age
We speak in a different fashion
Conversing in very short sentences
Use acronyms without any passion!
We seem to have totally lost the ability
To have an intelligent conversation
Emailing, texting, talking on Facebook
A computer age generation!
I really long for those simpler days
When people took time to listen
All the world seemed friendlier then
Now feels like something's missing!
© Jack Ellison 2012
In spite of my charms and amazing good looks
Must be honest, I'm also a bit of a crook
I'll steal ladies' hearts
Just for a lark
Then run away chuckling at the liberties I took
© Jack Ellison 2015
Captain Cook he had a chook
But eggs it wouldn't lay,
So he ate the chook and now he's crook,
He cockle-doodle-doos all day.
Captain Cook he had a horse
But the horse it wouldn't run,
So he ate the horse as a main course,
Now he neighs in the noon day sun.
Captain Cook he had a cat
But the cat it wouldn't meow,
So he ate the cat, now he's so fat,
His belly-button just went pow!
-more poems like this can be found at:
kidscomedypoetry.com.au
There was a crook man once upon a time
Who made a living by committing crime
Each day something would he steal
Life was nothing but a thrill
Untill was imprisoned at his prime!
(c) Demetrios Trifiatis
03 August 2016
10-10-7-7-10
I cook a rice, so I am a cook.
I need a cooker, so I can cook.
I didn't learn to cook from a book.
I only learnt, not to feed a crook.
I paddled on brook, there was a croc.
I wasn't to look, only to hear them talk.
Purple Couch
16 Nov 2016
12:09 PM
It’s half past midnight and there is again an existing creep
Visually obscured but couldn’t get a sleep
Frightfully terrified trying horribly to get a peep
Scared of looking even but have to breathe deep
The dogs all over began to woof
Jittered nervously could hardly even move
Suddenly cringed but have to have a proof
At last, of all people it was her all along, the crooked goof
Terrible Trump or Trump the Crook
Answers to questions asked were a contrast
Which we always would like to lambaste
Reasons for answers we presented in disguise
Knowing they had been to each other's surprise.
Found it exceptionally, extremely hard to wait
For next time we again had decided to debate
Over whose answers were greatest and best
So we ended up deciding to have a contest.
Were no correct answers to questions I asked
Or any way to successfully complete the task
No matter how hard we ever tried and tried
For President knew Trump was most qualified.
Never thought at all or been born with open mind
When we eventually discovered his was designed
For someone wanting to be a unsuccessful President
Can you believe Trump to America God had sent.
Not only that his brain appeared to be scattered
When singing low tune windows were shattered
In White House why should we want Trump be there
We would discover that his presence was hard to bare.
This is why whole world and us now regretted
Trump and his brain not being properly vetted
Then on disquietly case had to close the book
Knowing Trump was a fraud as well as a crook.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Where is the cake that I left on my plate?
It was there when I went to the gate.
I’ll never know, but there is a face aglow
With a beam, and a mouth full of cream.
Who ate the food from the cat’s dish?
It was there when I called for the cat.
I’ll never know, but my boy smells of fish
And he’s wearing the dish for a hat.
Who marked the wall with a crayon scrawl?
It was clean before the phone call.
I’ll never know, but there’re colour smears
On the clothes that my boy wears
Who drank the wine I had in my glass?
It was there when I answered the door.
I’ll never know, but I hear a loud snore
From that boy asleep on the floor.
Who ate the choc that I left by my seat?
It was there when I packed out the meat.
I’ll never catch the chocolate crook
But my little boy has a cocoa look.
How can I shout, or how can I frown?
At that little face that is smeared with brown.
I’ll never know who does these things.
I only know that my heart sings.
I only know he’s made my life content.
So how can I blame that innocent?
People are laughing but I don't think it's funny.
A dirty rotten crook stole my stolen money.
I was very happy because I successfully pulled a bank job.
But then that man pulled his gun on me and I was robbed.
I can't believe that it happened, it has been a terrible ordeal.
That crook stole the money that I worked so hard to steal.
This experience has left me bitter and appalled.
That thief didn't leave me anything, he took it all.
The cops caught up to me and I told them that the money was taken by that thief.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this would happen, it is beyond belief.
I failed to become a millionaire because of the money that he took.
I'm going to turn honest when I get out of jail, it doesn't pay to be a crook.
(This poem is actually based on a true story that my dad told me about.)
“Made you look you dirty crook!”
And all those colourful phrases
Have vanished from our lexicon
They now belong to the ages!
“Keep your nose to the grindstone!”
Is another from way back when
So sad they've all but disappeared
Wish they could go back again!
Since the dawn of the computer age
We speak in a different fashion
Conversing in very short sentences
Using acronyms without much passion!
We now seem to have lost the ability
To have an intelligent conversation
Emailing, texting, or some such device
Or some other glitzy presentation!
I really long for those simpler days
When people took time to listen
And all the world seemed friendlier
Now feels like something's missing!
A re-post!
Just As Big A Crook
Are all the Republicans;
Not release tax returns.
Obviously, they are afraid
of what tax returns will
reveal as well as checking
out his relationship with
Russia and release of all
medical records. He has
cancer and is going to
die in the next 90 days.
Merton with his law has
always been right. "Define
a situation as real, and it
is real in its consequences."
We are suffering each hour
of our discontent. His big
mouth should be sealed
with cement.
James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Roving Poet
For all of you who has ever said
You loved me then broke my heart
May you succumb to the most?
Awful Egyptian curse
May Hathor cause you great pain?
And shame from this day forward
Until the Pyramids turn to dust and
The Nile River runs backwards well
May it be recorded now and forever?
In the book of the dead in prolific
Detail by the seal of Osiris I'm not
Singling any one person out but
You know who you are and so does
Isis as the all seeing eye of the
Falcon is upon you in the shadow
Of Horus call me bitter if you want
But all I ever did was love you!
Go on now and laugh at what I say
But I will have the last laugh just
Wait and see 'cuz you are no better
Than me....don't you know I come?
From the ancient Khnum Dynasty
And so when Ma’am weighs your
Heart against a feather I hope you
Suffer the worse Egyptian curse
Until the Nile river runs backwards
Until all the Pyramids crumble and
Turn to dust, until I toss away my
Flail And Crook out to sea...
So mote it be!
I am that lone wolf
Coming by with that look
My inner mind in a shelf
That horrid stare I took
I must save myself
By hook or by crook
I am that one alien
With an eye for detail
Lost in the Mediterranean
Alive in the form of a male
Boiling the ocean
I would never fail
By hook or by crook
I am that lonely eagle
Waiting for my target
Is it to love or is it to kill?
Some birds accept while some regret
Better keep my wings still
This I would never forget
By hook or by crook
By hook or by crook
I will starve to death
I will leave planet Earth
I will fly from the cove
To the heav’ns above
By hook or by crook