Best Crook Poems

I got a phone call from a mate of mine I hadn't seen for years,
and I could tell by his quivered voice that he was close to tears
so I asked Ken what is wrong then heard his voice that shook , 
“Oh cripes! I think I've had it ‘cause I've never felt so crook”.

Course on...

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“Made you look you dirty crook!”
And all those colourful phrases
Have vanished from our lexicon
They now belong to the ages!

“Keep your nose to the grindstone!”
Is another from way back when
So sad they've all but disappeared
Wish they could go back again!

Since the dawn of the computer age
We speak in a different fashion
Conversing in very short sentences
Using acronyms...

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You stole my laughter and hid it well under layers of concrete

I used a jackhammer to release them and with care

Moses was our traffic cop and we floated in opposites

Our love was stricken and the wind blew us like lonely chimes

I was your orphan taken back as a suit that won't fit

I am not a...

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“Made you look you dirty crook!”
And all those colourful phrases
Have vanished from our lexicon
They now belong to the ages!

“Keep your nose to the grindstone!”
Is another from way back when
So sad they've all but disappeared
Wish they'd come back again!

Since the dawn of the computer age
We speak in a different fashion
Conversing in very short sentences
Use acronyms without...

Continue reading...

In spite of my charms and amazing good looks
Must be honest, I'm also a bit of a crook
I'll steal ladies' hearts
Just for a lark
Then run away chuckling at the liberties I took


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Captain Cook he had a chook
But eggs it wouldn't lay,
So he ate the chook and now he's crook,
He cockle-doodle-doos all day.

Captain Cook he had a horse 
But the horse it wouldn't run,
So he ate the horse as a main course,
Now he neighs in the noon day sun.

Captain Cook he had a cat
But the cat it...

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There was a crook man once upon a time

Who made a living by committing crime

Each day something would he steal

Life was nothing but a thrill

Untill was imprisoned at his prime!





(c) Demetrios Trifiatis
       03 August 2016


10-10-7-7-10...

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I cook a rice, so I am a cook.
I need a cooker, so I can cook.
I didn't learn to cook from a book. 
I only learnt, not to feed a crook. 
I paddled on brook, there was a croc.
I wasn't to look, only to hear them talk.


Purple Couch
16 Nov 2016
12:09 PM...

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It’s half past midnight and there is again an existing creep

Visually obscured but couldn’t get a sleep

Frightfully terrified trying horribly to get a peep

Scared of looking even but have to breathe deep

The dogs all over began to woof

Jittered nervously could hardly even move

Suddenly cringed but have to have a proof

At last, of all people it...

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Terrible Trump or Trump the Crook

Answers to questions asked were a contrast
Which we always would like to lambaste
Reasons for answers we presented in disguise
Knowing they had been to each other's surprise.

Found it exceptionally, extremely hard to wait
For next time we again had decided to debate
Over whose answers were greatest and best
So we ended up deciding...

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Where is the cake that I left on my plate?
It was there when I went to the gate.
I’ll never know, but there is a face aglow
With a beam, and a mouth full of cream.

Who ate the food from the cat’s dish?
It was there when I called for the cat.
I’ll never know, but my boy smells...

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People are laughing but I don't think it's funny.
A dirty rotten crook stole my stolen money.
I was very happy because I successfully pulled a bank job.
But then that man pulled his gun on me and I was robbed.
I can't believe that it happened, it has been a terrible ordeal.
That crook stole the money that I...

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“Made you look you dirty crook!”
And all those colourful phrases
Have vanished from our lexicon
They now belong to the ages!

“Keep your nose to the grindstone!”
Is another from way back when
So sad they've all but disappeared
Wish they could go back again!

Since the dawn of the computer age
We speak in a different fashion
Conversing in very short sentences
Using acronyms...

Continue reading...

Just As Big A Crook
Are all the Republicans;
Not release tax returns.

Obviously, they are afraid
of what tax returns will
reveal as well as checking
out his relationship with
Russia and release of all
medical records. He has
cancer and is going to
die in the next 90 days.
Merton with his law has
always been right. "Define
a situation as real, and it
is real in...

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For all of you who has ever said
You loved me then broke my heart
May you succumb to the most?
Awful Egyptian curse
May Hathor cause you great pain?
And shame from this day forward
Until the Pyramids turn to dust and
The Nile River runs backwards well
May it be recorded now and forever?
In the book of the dead in prolific
Detail...

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