Crap Poems | Examples

Premium Member Crap Shooting Boomboom

Crap shooing boomboom
Throws all his money away.
Wonders why he's poor.

Premium Member crap for lunch

The toxins in dried sewage paste
Have left our farm land poison laced 
This waste on crops spread
Won’t hurt if you’re dead
And doesn’t affect the food taste

Fertilizer’s best bargain brand
Is dried solid sludge on farm land
Now the food we eat
Contains something sweet
And our scientists want it banned


Bull Crap

the more you spread, the more people will pay to get rid of the smell

Premium Member I compose my poems like Wallace Stevens

I compose my poems like Wallace Stevens
by walking the streets of my town.
But unlike the esteemed Wallace Stevens,
I don't have to memorize or write my poems down.

I just turn on my cellphone's recorder,
then slowly whisper my word into it.
But instead of composing gems, like Wallace Stevens,
I tend to produce just a drivel of shhhhh~it.

Premium Member That's A Lot Of Crap

Release the hounds

Call out the guard 

Some simple fool

Crapped in my yard 

Oh woe is me

Oh heavy sigh

Look at this poo

Piled a mile high 

No words will help 

No song be sung

Just tell me now

Who flung the dung


A Crap Shoot

Life is a crap shoot
Roll dice, no guarantee
Good to be lucky!

Premium Member Craving Crap

lodged in fragrant loo
crap craves to be there for good...
loathes flush inventor

Premium Member Oh Crap

where is that little bear, Burt? Everyone asked.
finding him was deemed to be a cousins’ task
we knew he was in the sunflower field probably taking a nap
that’s when some of us got in trouble for saying “oh, crap!”

the adults can swear, it seems all right when it is them
But it better not be the kids in the family said Uncle Jim.
the sunflowers are prickly almost like thorns and they hurt.
We were all scuffed up and bleeding by the time we found Burt.

Premium Member A Big Mouth of Mostly Crap

there is no mother nature ~ mere reality with her rolling pin

spreading an infinite universe ~ with no instructions on a tin

bring humanity into the mix ~ a strange ingredient comes in

the spit of droll intelligence ~ from our salivating menippean 

                               #        #         #

       Still from May Day, to the Summer solstice in June 
a Helios vegan picks his nose daily, of the greenest legumes 

By
David Kavanagh

Premium Member Aunt Shays Crap Dolls

My aunt Shay was creative, inventive and fun.
She made dolls for us out of scraps of our clothes.
It was terrific to see what she concocted and constructed.
She could make things out of ribbons, yarn, bits of nothing.
She was clever and playful, and the dolls reflected it.
She had the personality and the childlike qualities of a pixie.

Premium Member Crap Shoot

CRAP SHOOT


   Cap shoot
    may suit.

   No risk, no gain.
   Challenge and venture!
   Opportunity to capture.
   May you succeed not run in vain.

  Who cares for victory or defeat !
  Make yourself sturdy and fit.

  Life offers you chances.
  Show your performances
  to win or to loose
  ‘cause you decide to choose.

  Shoot your films of life ! Take snaps,
  not to shoot your dreams
  ending in screams.
Crap shot to unravel marvels : Not craps.


 11/20 /22


The Crap Shoot # 2


Contest by John Lawless

Playing Crap

He rolls the dice just for fun
But then he goes on a run
Forgot that he had played for fun
But though that he had just won
Until he was shown the butt of a gun

Premium Member King-Sized Bull Crap Machine Busters

You are the light
From the small crack in the door.
Illuminate your darkness.
Feed the deprived
With your good thoughts.

You are the bearer of World Peace.
Show the others how to be.
Don't be offended.
Don't get sucked in.

You are the path 
They must walk.
To punish, prod, or persecute
Is playing the lower game while

You are a star 
Shot across the sky.
The mean people are beneath you,
(Literally)
So that you may lift them into the night
To be reborn the next day.

What does this all mean?
You wonder in your daydream.

Don't take the high road
Without the deplorables alongside you.

Just as you wouldn't marry a brown toad
Before saying "I love you."

Jousty Jack

Grounding pounding wanna grab
Jousty jack wanna stab
Anger clutching his mind
Crack spouting nonsense
Idiotic ineffable reason
The conflict season..
Note.Nonsense makes no sense..

Premium Member So Much Bull-Crap

Amazing, numbers of folks who feel entitled
Because life has never dealt them a blow,
They are filled up with so much bull-crap
On others they think they must bestow.
From their ivory towers they can be rude
And expect nothing of consequence in return,
But when I encounter such petty bull-crap
I find myself doing a hundred-degree slow burn.
Then, I am likely to have a response for this turd
Not accepted in the best of realms of society,
But familiar to all who think like me of these folks
I am more than happy to flip them the bird!

SECOND PLACE WINNER
written December 18, 2021
especially for "King-Size Bull Crap Poetry Contest"
sponsored by Charles Messina

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