Best Crap Poems

she was all like - there's something i have to tell you
but before she gets to say it
his ex wife shows up

he's all like -...

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the Soup bowl,
Not a poet was writing, not even the musing mole.
All their pens were hung by...

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How beautiful is what I see today
          peeking from the green
     ...

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I don’t know tic tac toe
so I rhyme this with flow,
showing Nick Nac knows 
how to serve the perfect dose.

Measuring the rhymes
like I’m pleasuring the...

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T'were the night after Christmas, 'n' the house was all dark.
Not much money for 'lectric in the ol' trailer park.
Ma waitin' tables at the club...

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.                        ...

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How far do the ripples spread, when eventually we die 
Probably stay in the locality, level off, no major outcry
But let’s say we’re famous, suffering...

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Whispers and intrigue 
and things that shan’t be said,
not uttered or stuttered--
minds shuttered instead.

You cannot, you shall not,
believe your own eyes.
You must put your trust...

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Her lips caress another cigarette
A fading belle looking for love
The smoke veils a creature of habit
Chasing a young girls dream

But this Genie found the palace...

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You’ve got me hanging,
On every word you say.
I just keep praying,
That you feel the same way.

I hope this isn’t a trap,
That would be crap.
You seem...

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~Woody Wood From the Hood~

Deep, inside yourself, you walk a sour way of life,
Carving my name, on every tree with a hunting knife
You log in,...

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I don't know what came over me that day - an instant of weakness after years of resistance, I suppose.

My beaming spouse leads me, a...

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Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that...

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This year I turned the big ‘5-0’
And my body is acting strange
So I went to see the doctor who said
Not to worry, as I was...

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~JSLambert does not (currently:) use, or encourage hallucinogenic drug use.

    Telepathic psilocybin prescription erasing elastic depression. Competition 
wanes, just when nocturnal emission...

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