Best Crap Poems

You may be living in a king size house 
Sleeping in a king size bed
Laying on a king size mattress 
With a king size pillow for your head 

You may wear a king size diamond
On your king size ring 
Or you may be living in...

Continue reading...

King Pin and Needle Queen
Sitting  in their court
The jester tosses coloured eggs
To amuse them with his sport
The king will catch a red one
The queen, she grabs a blue
But when they crack them open
They’re filled with chicken poo....

Continue reading...

mud on your face    flung dung comes around









18.01.04 

Composed for Silent One's
Monoku 5: Cliche - Poetry Contest
"what goes around comes around"...

Continue reading...

When a know-it-all paints the wall
With your silhouette in excrement...

Do not engage the louse,
For a fly does not enter a closed mouth.


8/15/2019...

Continue reading...

King size bull -crap -collaboration 

You may be living in a king size house
Sleeping in a king size bed
Laying on a king size mattress 
With a king size pillow for your head

You may have a king size wallet
And a king size car
But if you don't...

Continue reading...

I've started my stand-by diet: a few different fruits each day,
and having repeated it time and again, I feel qualified to say
apples, unless of a rare and crisp nature, are mushy and generally gross.
Halfway into the core of one, I'm still starving and feeling morose.
The...

Continue reading...

Welcome to All Things Scottish – 
If it's not Scottish, it's craaaapp.
When in Scotland, be a scot.

If you don’t wear T-shirt with the words
“If it ain’t Scottish, it’s crap”
You are other than a scot.

If you have not visited any Shoppe
For Scottish mom and pop fish’n...

Continue reading...

Hard to believe I'm slowing down

Never thought this day would ever come

Merrily cruising along

Oblivious to all the small changes

Suddenly I'm forgetting things

Or how to do something

That I've been doing by rote

For too many years to count... I'm scared!

My mind goes wild thinking

Of what the future...

Continue reading...

There was a man named Hickenlooper.
Who invented a dog poop scooper.
Something went awry
Flinging contents into the sky
And stinking the town into a stupor....

Continue reading...

One thousand, eight hundred and twenty-three
That's a crap load of poems I've scribed
Still got that many and a whole bunch more
You might think I silently imbibe

Don't need no joy juice to write these gems
They literally flow without ceasing
Can't keep my fingers quite limber enough
Also get...

Continue reading...

Royalty
Presidency
Emperor
King 
Prince 
Princess 
And duke 
All these man-made titles 
Make me want to puke 

It’s such a load of crap 
Pining for these freaks 
This pedestal treatment 
Friggin reeks

Oh you’re so much better than me 
I’m so blind with admiration 
That I can’t see

That you’re...

Continue reading...

Na- Nu Na-Nu
greetings earthlings How do you do
I'm captain Zendor from planet Sur Render 
shazbot someone crashed into my spaceship's fender
hit me so hard made me go krap-poo...

Continue reading...

With a mag called POETRY, I spent time
Hoping to find verses sublime and sage
And for all I read, not two words that rhymed
Just chopped up prose splayed all over the page.

This left me just a little bit perplexed
So I decided to investigate
What I did find...

Continue reading...

#1 Limerick

Flawless Crap

There once was a man that was perfect.
His actions were never incorrect.
That was his thought, for sure.
He knows now that’s manure.
As he looks at compost truck, he wrecked.


#2 couplets

Flaws Forgiven

Everyone makes mistakes, this we all know for sure.
There was only one perfect man,...

Continue reading...

Each crap life takes
Fertilizes the world
Ah! Smell the spring air...

Continue reading...