Long Crap Poems

A special dedication to Beyoncé's "Drunk in Love" song in her album "Beyoncé", which came out in 2013.
 
{intro}
I took a cat nap...yah put on your classic, clever-mini cap 
drank that sorrow sap, my companion...

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Dear people, 
    (Am i?) Mad it’s a conformist state?
A status that perpetuates people to pair, to compare, to prepare, 
to perfect, before performance, …?
    -sure hard to try...

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The Original Sin: Rhyming Haiku!
 
Haiku
should never rhyme:
it’s a crime!
-Michael R. Burch
 
The herons stand,
sentry-like, at attention ...
rigid observers of some unknown command.
-Michael R. Burch
 
Late
fall;
all
the golden leaves turn black underfoot:
soot
-Michael R. Burch
 
Dry leaf...

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Currents
by Michael R. Burch

How can I write and not be true
to the rhythm that wells within?
How can the ocean not be blue,
not buck with the clapboard slap of tide,
the clockwork shock of wave on rock,
the...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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Sonnets XC-XCVII

Artificial Smile
by Michael R. Burch

I’m waiting for my artificial teeth
to stretch belief, to hollow out the cob
of zealous righteousness, to grasp life’s stub
between clenched molars, and yank out the grief.

Mine must be art-official?zenlike Art?
a...

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Here's the scoop, friends...
   This is, as indicated, the 1st THIRD of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd and 3rd parts had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations. No...

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In hell is called Malebolge a site
Completely made of ferrous color stones  
As almost all the rim around looks quite.

Of the malignant field the middle zones
Are the seat for a well much wide and...

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Here's the deal, folks...
   This is, as indicated, the 2nd HALF of this fairly lengthy poem. Due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations, this piece had to be posted in 2 parts. 
 ...

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Just a view on the inner critic. Every time I read what I wrote I see a different angle. This person never even opened their eyes. Some day you can't.

The day had begun. Simple. It...

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These two old geezers have definitely worn out their welcome with Betty-Joe -


“NO, IT DOESN’T!” 
“YES, IT DOES!” 
“NO, IT DOESN’T!” 
“YES, IT DOES!”       The two old geezers argued...

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He is looking at her a bit sanctimoniously
He is about to mansplain again

"Am I spooking you?" he asks grinning
"I'm not trying to propose, Cutie.
God no. Could you imagine?
I just think it's possible, you know?
I'm just...

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I don't know what came over me that day - an instant of weakness after years of resistance, I suppose.

My beaming spouse leads me, a dog on a short leash, into the forbidden citadel, the...

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Phobias
	A Bluto is not that Disney dog
	It was when a mewling 
	that I would scream 
	Should they wet my body
	And then apply cream
	
	Ablutophobia – fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning
	
	Achluo the demon that lurks
	In darkened...

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.                          NOW

Well, GI Jack is welcome back, he left his...

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We are the days that we’ve become. 
moments dripping gifted from
the lounging clocks in rolling melted sightings, 
given by the gifted madness of a soulmate’s fightings. 

Our lives wrapped up in phrases coined
in books like,...

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This is, as indicated, the 2nd THIRD of this lengthy poem. Due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations, this piece had to be posted in 3 parts. 
   The 1st and final thirds can...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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I once spent a week in the drunk tank
couldn't handle the spirits that I drank
the cuisine wasn't half bad
we even had a few laughs
but I had to guard my butt with a shank


……………………………………………………………………….


It used to...

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the biggest obstacle you face today, is not what's outside your door, but what's inside your mind......can you challenge yourself to challenge yourself?  You've fought with life and everyone else all your life......this will...

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“Good morning, folks,” the guy began…“my name’s Henry Hustle.  Got yourselves a real nice car there. Love them fancy wheels! 
Today I’m gonna prove to you why so darn many people come to us...

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A week before my senior year at Honeysuckle High School, with me our starting quarterback - who’d never failed a test -
The friend of mine who - ever since I’d barely passed the first one...

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The problem with trying to prove clairaudience, clairsentince, out-of-body, and Near Death Experiences to a Mudblood is not as simple
as it could have been.
Is it because Para-science is totally unsubstantiated?
Not in MY family.
Scientifically un-sound?
Sure, by...

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