Long Crap Poems
Long Crap Poems. Below are the most popular long Crap by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Crap poems by poem length and keyword.
LET'S RAISE A GLASS
There's theories about how our life began
From sea as some have said
Some say we've all descended from apes
Look at the shape of our head
Some noggins have ape-like structures
More obvious in some than others
Guess we're probably related after all
Ancestors, sisters and brothers
Sometimes prompted to swing from a tree
Perhaps that's a pretty good sign
Constantly scratching our armpits as well
While hanging from yonder vine
Not trying to demean the human race
But d'ya think we've advanced at all
Still fighting wars, still killing and maiming
Basically the same crap overall
Well we don't really have an alternative
So let's all try to live in peace
And raise a glass to a much better future
When hostilities finally cease
© Jack Ellison 2014
Do We Sleep to Dream or to Forget
Do we sleep to dream or to forget is the question I get asked a lot from my clients
Whom I council, for you see I am an unlicensed psychologist but a sarcastic psychologist at that. (Don’t tell anyone is my only disclaimer). Anyway, to answer your question about sleep, I always thought sleeping it was something everyone did like a natural reflex to shut down and detach from all the repetitive bull-crap they experienced throughout their day. I mean come on! Lets face the facts we all need to sleep even if you don’t have a bed to sleep on or in what ever never mind I said that back to the question.
I would say to the best of my knowledge and understanding that’s a common fact that not only do we dream to sleep, ah; umm I mean sleep to dream but we also sleep to forget as in that house party you had when your parents were on vacation.
Or that break up from that psychotic ex-girlfriend who was half stacker and half bipolar activist always coming up with reasons to monitor your every move. Like your work schedule, classmates, on the attendance, mid-terms, final exams and every phone number in the your contacts list in your phone, plus the number of followers and friends you have on ever social media site in existence. Or that time you and your friends got into a nightclub with fake ID’s that were poorly made and ended up getting so drunk that you forgot your own name.
So there you have it folks I would say yes we do sleep to not only dream but to forget. But don’t take my word for it no seriously don’t because you are dreaming and I am just a random voice in your head and you are most likely tripped out somewhere thinking to a licensed therapist but you’re not.
Your hangover will begin in 3,2,1 Wake up!!
Hmmm...she will do
I think he's looking at me
Not much to look at
He's moving this way
Yap, she's unsure
I better look around
"Hi there, beautiful
May I buy you a drink?"
......"SURE".....
Oh crap...that sounded needy
Oh, this is definitely, THE ONE
I should have played coy
She will serve me well
Help me Lord, I don't know
Just one more move to go
"Care to dance?"
"I'm a clutz."
"Just follow my lead."
"You make it easy."
Two moves, that's all it took
For the bait and hook
To connect to tissue
Never alone again
Too little and too much
Bringing balance to any issue
....that separates....
Written by Trudy Schrader on 02-02-2024
Winter Wonderland, Winter Schmunderland
I've had it up to my ying yang
If I never see another snowflake in my life
My big bass drum I'd bang
Wonderland, Schmunderland, I've had enough
Don't know how I've made this far
Except for those few times in the loony bin
Still have my marbles, by gar
Well at least I think I still have my marbles
But sure wish I could feel my mouth
This Winter Schmunderland is really for the birds
Even they have sense to head south
Winter Wonderland, Winter Schmunderland
Who really needs all of this crap
I'd certainly be a very much happier camper
If I could wear a hat without flaps
© Jack Ellison 2014
THEY SOUNDED SOFT AND BASSEY
I LIKED IT
I WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH IT
IT WAS SO BASSEY IT
MOVED THE FLOOR WITH VIBRATIONS
I LOVED IT
I LEARNED TO SING IT
AND THEN I
OWNED IT
MAKING THE SOUND REAL AND MINE
FROM BEGANNING TO VERSE
CHOURUS AND VERSE
I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT
YOU MIGHT THINK I LOVE YOU
AND YOU MIGHT THINK I CARE
MAKING ME PROMISES
LIKE YOU REALLY CARE
GET REAL WHY DON'T YOU
BE RIGHT YOU TRYIN TO
SUMTHANG AINT RIGHT WITH YOU
SO I'M CHANGING THE LYRICS.
BASS THIS
BASS THAT
TREMBLE CRISPS
TREBLES CRAP
MAN.....AINT NO RHYTHM WITH THIS
WE HAD TO CHANGE IT ALL AROUND
I SAY DO IT
STOP MOCKIN ME
I SAY I LIKE THIS NOW
I SAY, I LIKE THE SOUND
WHATS RIGHT WITH THIS
I KNOW WHAT WAS WRONG
WE MADE IT RIGHT
GAVE IT A NEW LIFE
I LIKE IT NOW
EVERY BODY LIKES IT NOW
Do not go scowling into work today.
For once, be nice to folks. Surprise them all.
Smile, Man! There’s just no telling what they’ll say!
Though wiser than the rest, you earn crap pay
because—who knows? Although the boss has gall,
do not go scowling into work today.
Good men like you, who work while others play,
must fight the mood of misery and pall.
Smile, Man! There’s just no telling what they’ll say!
Daydreams of golf games in the sun now prey
upon your weary mind. Don’t punch that wall!
Do not go scowling into work today.
Your mood is lower than the grave, deep gray.
But march yourself to work. Look sharp. Stand tall!
Smile, Man! There’s just no telling what they’ll say!
And you, job-hating man, till dark must stay,
resisting that strong urge to start a brawl.
Do not go scowling into work today.
Smile, Man! There’s just no telling what they’ll say!
Posted 1-8-19
Date: January 8, 2019
Contest: Villanelle Placed 4th
Sponsor: Nina Parmenter
Date: January 15, 2020
Contest Title: Your Best 19-20 Villanelle
Sponsor: William Kekaula
Eccentric Emma, third world charity advocator
Posts smiling foreground photos in mud slewn villages
Personifying inconsistency wafts remote mantra
Mind realm torrents when Followers Like - limitless!
Travels to India restore her heart's connection
Finds enhanced spirit to spruke eco awareness
Flying globally promotes environment's protection
Inspiring group loaded Moped selfie shared with us
Music festival painted face participant
Conjured creation poetry flow in cosy yurt
Auto biography depicts flatulent elephant
Busy vision mushrooms make logic inert
Occasionally posted toddler rememberings
Receive role call of awe drawn replies
Blond curled spark eyed munchkin grin
Retained young outlook, fart poem supplies
Updated page sells self painted guitar
claimed to have been owned by AC/DC
Imported stock sees profit from spirulina
Entrepreneurial shift from childhood ADHD
Nomadic yoga posing 80's born alternate
Emma, changed her surname to Everfree
Her permaculture preach has holes in it
New living quarters each month or three
Sporadic travels to soul's partner, Hawaii
Engaged by quest to marry herself
Masculine inner attributes enlightening
Complexity must be hers uniquely dealt
Keen Facebook fan of spontaneous dance
Rolling to Random Rab, office chair expressive
Arm fling brings shattering of glass desk lamp
Naming failure destiny, stalled artist replenished
Close to home exploits in essays documented
Park brake left off vehicle, ensuing downhill chase
Securing it heroically before damage (almost) resulted
Brings multitudinous comments of (unearned) praise
Originated: 14th June 2020
Subject' s actual legally changed name
rhymes with 'Emma'
Satire Saturday passed without posting,
so I went with Rip the Crap out of Someone Sunday!!
Parody speaks its flattery
Curiousity reeks of jealousy
...Then there are the very extreme
'soldiers' of the environment,
anyone wants to build something,
they march and sue to prevent.
Now natural conservation
is in itself not a bad thing,
but blue state folk seem to forget
there is a need for balancing.
If there is nowhere folks can build
then what will happen to home price?
Supply shrinks, but demand stays high,
driving land values out of sight.
A million a year shot not be
just enough to be middle class,
yet from L.A. up to Nappa
California is just like that!
Add to this fact that we still need
metal and oil to survive,
and when we cannot extract it
the price of life rockets high.
Pricey to drive, to buy and sell,
to put food on the dinner planes,
please remember the human need
when you're fleeing from a blue state.
And finally there are the guns,
which some say you should never have,
that you can depend on police,
that one always gives me a laugh!
That a state would every try
to erode your own sovereignty
is a crime in and of itself,
you are entitled to live free!
And that means seeing to defense
of yourself, your friends, and your kin.
There's little chance cops will be there
when true evil comes barging in.
It's a thought that can scare a soul,
but adults should act like grown-ups,
that means taking action sometimes,
especially when things are rough.
You are no serf to be ordered,
no coward who just waits for death,
and that means you may need a gun
to force aside that final breath.
Here we do not expect you to
surrender to murder or rape,
so leave the gun-grabbing behind
if your fleeing from a blue state.
See, it always seems weird to us
when folks up and move in here,
then vote for the same policies
that made their old jobs disappear.
Keep making all the same mistakes,
you'll keep getting the same result,
you new home will end up ruined,
and sadly it wall be your fault.
But we can keep prosperity
flourishing right here in this place,
just leave the leftist crap behind
when you're fleeing from a blue state.
I wrote what I thought was a 'poem' some years ago,
but it lacked rhythm, rhyme, and had no smooth flow.
Its imagery was blurry, and it filled my heart with grief
to read the overdose of alliteration, so far beyond belief.
To be quite blunt, it was a freakin, fricken, flippen flop.
I was distraught reading what I'd written and had to stop.
"W T F W T?" I shouted at myself in complete disgust!
Had I just said that aloud? Was I so irked that I'd cussed?
The vibrato pulsing in my voice shook the high bookshelf,
and on the floor fell the pimp... the spying Christmas elf!
"Stay there you lil bugger!" I yelled down at him. "You suck!!"
I could've sworn he made a mental note for Santa. W T F?
Threw him in the trash. With greasy, yucky stuff he went.
I sat at my keyboard, deciding time would be better spent
in writing poetry that would supersede that piece of crap.
I wanted to clear myself of fault and put on my thinking cap.
The first line read, "My muse is older, and I should scold her..."
But I heard a loud gasp and felt a hard punch on my shoulder.
Atop my head she beat me with a broom!, Yes, I was struck
from behind. I saw blind fury in her eyes and yelled, "W T F?"
A piece of brown crap metal
What could I do with it?
I did not know, but I knew I would have to try
Since it was free, I lugged it home
Seashells with holes
Discarded by a button factory
Thousands of them, a small mountain
I conjure some ideas and take two pails full home
My parents were both depression babies.
My siblings and I take anything we can get.
Threadbare materials can become rags.
We use it until it disintegrates.
Fabric pieces are saved for future possibilities
To line a pillow, to patch jeans, to make a quilt
Slivers of lace are never discarded
We can decorate doll clothes out of them