Encouragement, to stand strong;
against the discouragement, of
doing wrong.
Trying to change, before its too late;
deranged, cause I'm staring in the
eyes of my fate.
I thought, I finally had it; I fought,
maybe its more than just a habit.
Could it be me, that's so screwed
up; not worried bout the enemy,
but by the Lord don't want to get
chewed up.
Once again, it's time to make a
crucial decision; D.T.R. with a close
friend, refusal to lead to removal of
this brutal incision.
Complications, left and right;
frustrations, day and night.
My heart screaming your name,
what if utters my brain; I'm older
now this love thing isn't a game, yet
situations repeating itself like stops
on a train.
Confusion, created by self; illusion,
bad for my heart or my health?
State of mind, half past crazy; point
in time, all or nothing can't be
shady.
My mouth saying no, but actions not
matching; i say whatever you want
goes, however you throwing balls
but I'm not catching.
You say its up to me, regardless
you'll be my friend; but truthfully, if
I can't be with you I can't see u
again...
(Note: DTR= Determine The
Relationship)
BUTTERFLIES
I could have been the one to make you see,
had not your heart been closed to my advance!
Had not your eyes been turned away from me,
and if you'd only given me one chance;
if you had only heard the cries of pain,
each time you thrned away, or dropped your eyes,
each wound was deep, and left its blood soaked stain,
but never stopped the birth of butterflies
within this life, whenever you were there,
I'd never have to see you, they would know,
and challange me to things my heart would dare,
from deep within; but I could never go
right up to you! My knees would fail--but fast!
and you would laugh--and I would breath my last.
MY HEART FEELS LIKE A VULCANO,
THAT WANTS TO ERUPT.
GUSHING OUT BOILING BLACK TAR
IT WANTS TO SET MY EMOTIONS FREE,
‘CAUSE IT’S BEEN BOTTLED UP FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS
I KEEP MY HEART FROM ERUPTING, BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE THE CONSEQUENCES THAT IT CARRIES
IT MAKES ME FEEL WEAK, BUT YET AGAIN I GAIN CONTROLE
AND MY HEATR FEELS LIGHTER
ONCE IT ERUPTS THERE’S NO WAY STOPPING IT,
FOR MY HEART NEEDS TO EXPRESS ITS FEELINGS TO,
EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT NOT AGREE WITH MY EXPECTATION
I ON THE OTHER HAND MUST GAIN CINTROLE AND TRY TO MAIN MY INSANITY, BEFORE IT TAKES
CONTROLE OF ME
My eye's stare blankly at this empty paper, contemplating just what I should write.
For all of my tears, are only for his delight. Why can't I stop all this dismall writing?
My mind wanting happy, yet my heart still fighting. Why can't I keep my thoughts
away from him? Beside's, looking back I see all we shared was sin. A fond embrace,
a long kiss to start, the look on his face, and I the damsal to play the part.
How long can I keep going on like this pathetic heart broken girl, when all I ever
wanted was for him to share my world. Dreams of dismay, nightmares of the sun,
wish I could say, all of it was fun.
The darkest hour of my darkest day, has lead me on the path this way. Why can't I
just bleed out the rest, move this mountain, complete the test.
All I have left is who I am, and honestly I don't know who that is anymore;
Except a broken down woman,
Who was beaten, and still sore.
I see your face wherever I go.
No matter what I do it’s impossible to say no.
I can’t believe this is it for me,
My heart says one thing but cannot trust us to be.
“I will not go forever scarred,” my heart cries.
“It is for your own good,” my head lies.
And I am stuck with no decision.
Trying to listen, trying to find a true and right vision.
I do not understand what’s happening.
These lines are written
though not understood
these words are stated
though mistaken
My life is like a gamble
my heart is a stake
with every new card
in another blank slate
here I stand
living in a dazed state
out with my thoughts
and in with the hate
So this is what you call fate
a feeling of fear
of misunderstanding
the pain so demanding
though in the back of my mind
peirced from every bullet
shot from the front lines
Father don't you see,
the Hell you given me
I was born into
and traped within
for with every crack there is,
it takes more time to mend
to the wounds that were left
Is this life just one more test,
or step, this is for the best?
I can hear my heart bounding
beneathe my chest
I wear the armor of God
his holy vest
to hold me together
though I feel broken in two
for here I shall lay
while the devil
gets the best of you
The heart...
The mind...
Our emotions...
The three are ever so often in conflict of truth.
Yet surprisingly, the heart seeks truth through the mind,
With the emotions felt.
What I may be feeling inside,
May quite well not be what I am thinking,
And certainly not what I want to express or may be expressing.
Confused?
Think about it.
It is true that what is of the heart remains true.
What is of the mind seeks reassurance.
Our emotions...our emotions are ever changing.
I sit and write this poem with joy - Emotion.
In confusion - The Mind
In truthfulness - The Heart
Even more so, there is conflict.
Conflict in what this poem is really saying.
Angel of my heart
Please dry away these tears
I've been locked in my life
For almost seventeen years
My pride is Drained
And my heart is spent
I can't believe
Those words that he said
Were never meant
Love was found
And now love is lost
Angel of my heart
Help me cope its cost
For i have no way of doing this on my own
I dont want anyone to pity me
Angel of my heart
I never did want to leave
I wonder with an artistic heart that I sketch: that from afar she will see my drawing
the sketch of hello
me binding my words to ease the tension of my nervouseness
sweating
the appeal of her beauty star struck me
smart and intelligent
do I even have a chance?
a glamour of hope
sketch out the map of our lifeline
could I be your future of happiness?
doubting, my heart twist and turns
am I doing too much
waiting for a line
will this line hang me or get me accross this bridge?
It must of been me, I keep telling myself that when you left.
It must of been something I said or did.
I can't help but love you and if I was wrong to do so I need to know.
I gave you my heart and soul and it's hard for me to let go more now because I can't
understand why you left me when all I did was love you.
Tears roll down my face and I haven't slept in days.
For you took my love for you and ran with it to someone
else.
I sit here in this empty dark cold room and the only sound you can
hear is the beat of my heart fading slowly.
My heart is ice
My heart is cold
Impregnable
You cannot defeat me
I am final
ME!
No one else
Huh! If only someone else could be
If only someone… could defeat ME!
Maybe then, I wouldn’t be so alone
So haunted, so scared, and so feared!
So inspired
By nothingness
But the lives I destroy
To write in my own blood
I am destined to
It is in my veins
But how could that be!
Surely, this power is not of inheritance
Because I am better
Because I am me!
And me is final
People talk about it but you don’t really care
They can see right through the whole in your heart that you wear
You don’t stop for nothing, there is nothing worth stopping for
And if you turn around
You might be right back where you were
I want you to know that my heart is broken by you
Just find a way to fix it you can make it drip with glue
Soon I'll be wishing that I cared but I don't give a damn,
Soon enough I'll be finding out who I really am.
is my heart breaking?
i can't tell
in my silence
i can't hear my heart yell
shouldn't this loss sorrow me?
can't i feel sadness to some degree
maybe it was the way you treated me
or the way you didn't treat me
could it have been something you said
or that something in your face i read
there was no absence of malice
in some of the things you did
even then i never wished you dead
but wish you away
my heart i trust
into banishment
into a box where
old forgotten things belong
perhaps this is the best way
just leave me alone
let me fade away
i in my bitterness and lack of zeal
that thing you did
damaged the way i feel
(To Sharon)
By Debbie Guzzi & Robin Gass
He was kind, he was my friend, think again.
As to a fathers open arms, we ran.
A child’s trust flows like sand, shatters like glass.
Thus, exposing the naked lust of man.
As to a fathers open arms, we ran.
This child’s heart knew only of the good.
Thus exposing the naked lust of man.
Confused, her trust lay splintered where she stood.
This child's heart knew only of the good.
Yet naked her friend’s father eyes meet hers.
Confused, her trust lay splintered where she stood.
an innocent destroyed, for she felt cursed.
Yet naked her friend’s father’s eyes meet hers.
Friendship slain by a fathers twisted deed
an innocent destroyed, for she felt cursed.
As in her mind now grows, this vile scene.
A **** at five, so shamed, so deflowered
A child’s trust flows like sand, shatters like glass.
No love or lovers now her soul devoured..
He was kind, he was my friend, think again.
they say time will heal a broken heart , time is all it takes.
but if your heart is very weck it could fall right out of place.
it will take some time too mend it back with alot of god's good grace.
too know you loved and lost again it's hard to really say.
it takes a peice of all you have from smileing and from hope it leave's
you lonely and broken inside that know one could take there place.
but the hurt that's inside you will someday make you strong and let you see how
strong you are that hurt's will finely be gone and you'll relize your the charming one
and life is good too live cause looking at the world out there ,there's so much love to give.
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