Jesse Forbes
1893 – 1911
Black Canyon.
Now, there was a place to be!
It is true I was born a brute in a Quaker Town.
Born a bad-tempered brute of a boy
In the two-room digs on Bailey Street and Comstock..
My father fathered two other families,
Unbeknownst to his wife..
And I was the first one disowned.
But my father was a great believer,
And I loved the man like a fool.
I took up the milkin’ business at fourteen,
And made my morning way from Orange Drive down to Penn Street.
Delivering the dozens of clinking milk bottles.
Delivering the dozens of morning salutations,
To neighbors and friends in the glad and dismal days.
I had but one romantic interlude in my short stay,
Just one futile attempt at Carpe Diem.
But was left slapped and standing by a disheveled Ethel Hurst
There in the dark shade of Black Canyon
That inauspicious August day in 1910.
Ethel Hurst did not accept the entreaties of a 17 year old brute.
Did not accept my wild stares
Or my insanely puckered lips.
It was to my surprise that I died.
Died so young and so unready.
Still desiring the perfumed kisses of Ethel Hurst,
Still desiring her heart-quenching embraces,
There, in the dark shade of Black Canyon.
its 4:44 in the morning and the lights are off. Everyones
asleep. Silently dreaming. The shadow moves throughout
the
house , it wakes me to tell me something. It speaks but i
can`t hear, i look at the clock but can`t see it only
knowing
that its 4:44 still. The shadow moves away ever so slowly
and
fades away to nothing. I lie there waiting for time to
unfreeze. My mind races to unfamilure memories of
unfamilure places. This must be a dream or nightmere.
None of this can be real. Knowing its still 4:44 i move my
legs
to the edge of the bed and place them on the floor that is
no
longer there. I free fall in to the darkness only to be
caught
by the shadow who i am now standind next to , we stand
over my body, we are looking at the shadow standing
over
me taking my soul . I died in my sleep. The clock is
forever
froozen at 4:44............john comstock 1\29\12
the stearn bear
ate the bull
as meat unto idols
(the idle mammals
of mammon
on fence road)
the bags of king Midas filled
as offense rose
the comstock lode
dropped
bovines into stockyards
and the slaughterhouse rules
(u.s.) Pavlovian fools
What if one look could change the life you’ve known?
Would you finally see that were not meant to be alone?
What if one touch could change everything you thought?
Would you hold on tight, for better or not?
What if a moment held all the potential of forever?
Would you hold out for the endeavor?
What if it took one look in his eyes, but you just knew?
Would you go to this man that you were so irrevocable drawn to?
What if his kiss was so warm it set your soul on fire?
How far would you follow him, just to feel his desire?
What if he was the only one who made you feel a new emotion?
Would you move mountains, cross a desert, or even an ocean?
What if just being next to him, made you melt?
What would you do, to feel what I have felt?
Sarah Comstock
3-17-11
I can feel it,
becoming in me.
Growing inside.
Birthing the new
me. The old
one is dead.
Renewed from
the very source.
living life,
with a new force.
Through a
living death
I found life.
Finding peace
amongst the
strife.
I’ve found a
burning fire.
an unconditional
desire. I have
found a place,
now that I
have found
my saving
grace.
October 27th, 2000
Sarah Comstock
Just the purest of emotions.
Know that I am under love’s notion.
Just one simple thought.
In your spell I am caught.
Just to tell you that I do love you.
But words would never do.
It need not be so complicated.
For words seem so understated.
Because this is deeper,
than the need to breathe in an out.
I have for you this love,
that is with out question, with out doubt.
Stronger than the will to survive.
It’s this need for you, this burning drive.
More than the need for my heart to beat,
Is the fire you’ve started, an intense heat.
And how could I ask my heart to do anything but love you.
For you see, it is the only thing it knows to do.
Sarah Comstock
August 13th, 2000
It was a beautiful summer morning,
Sitting there with you,
In the early mornings light
Everything was fresh and new.
It brought back a summer that faded too fast.
But I know now, it was not to last.
But it brought back those warm august nights.
Spent out under a thousand star lights.
And a warm summer breeze will always render,
The memories of a summer spent in surrender.
I still long for it, right up to winter’s first frost.
Him, those days, but mostly the innocence lost.
And it does this heart good to see you form time to time.
If only to relive that much simpler time.
I wonder does your mind drift back to those days.
Or was it simply an awkward teenage phase?
You too had said we’d always be,
But we both knew as the summer faded, so would we.
Sarah Comstock
2\18\2000
It’s raining outside the night is long and without sleep.
The storm that rages inside makes me aware, this cut is deep.
The coldness is frigid and offers me no comfort.
The only warmth is from the tears that fall upon my face.
I know that outside your arms is a cold and lonely place.
I still shiver from the last time we said good-bye.
You should have just left me there to die.
Because we were face to face in the pouring rain,
Acting like strangers, because of the pain.
Heartache poured like rain from a cloud.
And the silence spoke out loud.
There was no way to fix the damage done.
It felt like something should be said, but there was none.
It’s still hard to get past the coldness that was in your eyes.
But I must move on in search of brighter days and bluer skies.
Sarah Comstock
5\14\00
Where are you tonight?
Are you okay? Are you alright?
Do you ever think of me too?
Because, I so often think of you.
Does your mind wonder back there?
Can you still smell the honey suckle in the air?
You could have stolen the thunder out of the night skies,
With those, oh, so blue blue eyes.
Your voice could have robbed the wonder from the earth.
And take the sky of its gentleness, for what it’s worth.
Do you remember moving to a rhythm of our own?
In a love that was not said but shown.
Was it thunder or our own hearts beating wild into the night?
And just like that, in a flash, fires ignite.
Passion burned deep red and hot, desire ran deep,
You stole my heart in a ravenous sweep.
The heavens broke in a thunderous burst.
As I whispered to you, “you’re the first.”
Then passionate fire rained down,
And love fell softly all around.
Oct, 2nd, 2000
Sarah Comstock
If words meant anything at all,
I’d say to you each one aloud.
If pride stood tall for anything,
I’d do what it took to make you proud.
If a song could persuade your heart,
I would sing forever.
If trying was worth while,
I would endure the endeavor.
If a look would change your mind,
I’d do my best to make you see.
That if it came down to forever,
I would choose you and me.
But if it was meant to be,
Surely you would come back to me.
And if love was a precious gift,
It would be wrapped with a bow.
And if wisdom was wise,
Then you would know,
That it is I, who loved you from the start.
But who am I,
To tame such a wild heart?
August 4th, 2001
Sarah D Comstock
Tears fall warm on my skin.
As I think about you leaving again.
I know we’ve been here a thousand times before.
But this time it hurts so much more.
Feels like I am eternally saying good-bye.
You whisper to me “Darlin don’t cry.”
Standing here I your arms, broken inside.
You seen the tears I had meant to hide.
Clinging to you, as if life itself was slipping away.
Because this time you won’t be back tomorrow or the next day.
In fact, I’d almost swear, your not coming back at all.
And so begins the down fall.
Because good bye is not the hardest part,
But only the beginning of the damage to the heart.
And the last kiss still burns on my skin,
Because I know I’ll never taste your kiss again.
Sarah D Comstock
1/19/2000
I know this must sound absurd,
But I've heard your voice before you ever said a word.
I saw your face a thousand times or more,
Though you and I had never met before.
I knew you long before this day.
I knew you’d come to me, I knew you’d find a way.
I have loved you, without knowing you yet.
Because it seems that our souls have already met.
And somehow I know that I was always there with you.
Even before we knew, perhaps to see you through.
Because I have always been a part of you.
Just as you have always been a part of me too.
I have been here with you from the start.
Somewhere inside you, beating in your heart.
And we would be together.
Our lives and love would remain forever.
It was always a part of the grand plan.
It was set in stone, long before our journey ever began.
Ours is a bond that surpasses space and time.
I will belong to you, and you are forever mine.
Even when we have turned to dust, the love stays.
Because in this life and the next, I am with you always.
Sarah D Comstock
August, 9, 2009
I believe in more than just what I can see.
For faith is the substance of that, that is yet unseen.
I believe that a man I have yet to meet, laid down his life for me.
And I know that it was his sacrifice that washed me clean.
I believe that he gave his whole life, to give to me.
And one day all will bow, every head, every knee.
I believe that all things happen for a reason
And each of us are called to love and lead
I believe that we are only passing through for a season.
So we must plant carefully the truth, when it is a seed.
I believe someday we will all take our place.
And that I will thank him face to face.
Someday we will have arrived in the place we will abide.
There will be neither darkness nor fear.
For we will all stand in the light of the Son.
And there will be a great wiping away of every tear.
We will come into your kingdom as one.
To sit at the foot of the throne,
To stand in his presence, in a warm embrace.
He’ll take me in, and say “My child, I have never forsaken, nor left you alone.”
And the light of his smile will shine on my face.
Sarah Comstock
11-22-10
I only want a heart that is free.
To be content with life and me.
I want the space and room to grow.
To reap the harvest of seeds I sow.
To live, work, and take care of mine.
And at the end of the day, bask in the sunshine.
To put forth my hand in an endeavor.
To fearlessly move into forever.
To not be held back by hesitation or fear.
To chase down more than just what is here.
To get up and taste what I am made of.
To jump in both feet, into life, happiness, and love.
To build my dreams with my own hand.
And to have the freedom to do and be, as much as I can,
For as long as time and space will allow me.
Sarah Comstock
9-19-2010
To stand and tell the world,
that I do still love you,
would do me no harm,
but would only add to your ill charm.
To let you know,
would never do.
To let you know that
you still get to me late at night.
to tell you of the uneasy,
feelings that are just not right.
That would be to go
against my own pride,
these things I cannot
confide. So for
everything that has
a price attached to
it, there truly is
a cost. I pay
for my pride
with you as my loss.
Sarah Comstock
6/20/98
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