Q: What kind of boat might a former governor of Texas have used to help illegals get across the Rio Grande?
A: A Rick Perry ferry.
Q: What did the official Vatican CPA discuss with a former Pontiff?
A: Pope Francis' finances.
Q: What is the shudder you feel when you think you've seen a ghost?
A: A phantasm spasm.
Q: What is the best prescription for the nightly news blahs?
A: The David Muir cure.
Q: Who is a columnist who writes about fashion shows?
A: A couture reviewer.
Q: What do you call a really careless guy who accidentally shoots himself?
A: A ballistic statistic.
Q: What do you call a large reptilian predator's temporary replacement?
A: An ad hoc croc.
Q: What is an opera extravaganza in Milan, Italy?
A: A La Scala gala.
Q: How would a waitress explain to a customer why his ham and eggs are green?
A: With a Dr. Seuss excuse.
Q: What was everyone asking when Franz Joseph hadn't been seen for a few days?
A: Where was Papa Haydn hidin'?
A puppeteer and a columnist
Two greeting persons of great talent
A writer and a simple artist
Met in New York on a bench God-sent
Acquaintance that brought humor and scent
To watchers and walkers awed with skill
Moving and talking puppets that shrill
It was floor number thirteen
that Captain America got
but he ended up in the basement
with green-cloaked misfits
Bucky tried his best to find him
though ended up getting his own trap door
they would reunite to battle
enemies galore
Cap exchanged his netting
with one of the guards
and the others didn't see
what he had in store
Rough 'em up, beat 'em up
Cap and Bucky endured
But the bad guys started a fire
and the hotel burned more
Cap brought the fifth columnist
out to the fire chief
and then he went to give what he planned
a memorable speech
A big "if"
get a whiff
Me? zero.
my hero...
Ben Franklin
wise statesman
scientist
columnist.
Ben's passwords -
Poor Richard's
crackerjack
almanack.
Did Silence
Dogood sense
women's rights
and insights?
Philly fire
would inspire
Ben's brilliance -
insurance
Self-taught, thence
Ben invents
bifocals
smart mogul.
Next project
he'd perfect
ladder chair
with step stair.
Millionaire
takes a dare
Kites and keys
lightning please.
A new hat
diplomat
Ben would dance
off to France.
Death's closed door
eighty-four
Famous men
admire Ben.
September 18, 2020
rewritten March 9, 2021
for contest: If I Were Famous..
sponsor:
The Ethical Self
by
Rick Folker
If there is evil here, it is complacency, and it is collective.
- Courtney Martin/columnist for On Being
The Moral Arc is bent
but not broken
It can be retrieved and repaired
like a shattered heart
withering in the penumbra
of great grief
If only we take back the responsibility
we have so casually ceded to the loudest, harshest,
and most unforgiving voices
Then we can become caretakers and caregivers
when the moral arc seems to lose the path of justice
and lies discarded and dismissed as so many hopes and dreams
are driven to despair
It is then that we must all the more forcefully stand up and stand by
our ethics, our morals, and refuse to blame 'evil' of some other
'uncontrollable force' when we are ultimately to
be held accountable for the killings, the cruelty, the craven fear
that paralyzes our better selves
and cynically opt for helplessness when these atrocities
could have been prevented.
Ultimately, we will be held accountable for the future we
and only we can make.
The moral arc in long and it does bend
but we need make sure that we bend
with it.
Another columnist made news
And source release did refuse
Who it was he never knew
Pure hell put us all through
Trump no one does he amuse.
Jim Horn
Pyramids as a Place
A prophetic poem to you will send
And no one would I want to offend
With him communications did exchange
Something appeared to seem so strange.
The way he speaks and shuts his eyes
Is a surprise to thank that he is wise
Has defense mechanisms out of control
Still insisting God is saving his soul.
It is beginning to appear and be apparent
Is suffering from disorder that is inherent
Are some things you should thinking about
That are producing fear along with doubt.
For President would this person I want?
After through long list having to hunt
He had a character he wanted vindicated
Him being a columnist who is syndicated?
We are trying to maintain our composure
What it looks like after further exposure
Using pyramids as place to store their grain
Has made him become a drain on our brain.
James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
RiverSea Plantation
Bolivia, NC
The dawn of a New Year
Another time to meet head on,
Is this a good omen or do I fear
Now my youth has long gone,
Ablaze within the power shone.
Yet I see a light bestirring
Amongst the doom and gloom,
Freedom of one’s pen columnist averring
When of weaving the literary loom,
Idealistic sweeps the new broom.
© Harry J Horsman 2015
THE TOKEN POETRY EDITOR
Sexless, unloved, this poem tycoon
Reads the heart’s treasures as the brain's boon,
And riven with erudition, explores the spaces
Where uninvited couplets kill the places
With talk of probity and probability.
This mortgaged toad of honesty gives glee
To those who find in truth a rash offence
And save their daily lies in deference
To a lone columnist like herself, persuading
All that is needed is this harvest of envious raiding
To feed the bonfire of youth and exploitation –
The seducer’s vocabulary of apt explanation
On why God is absent from the universe,
And can only be heard in exploding verse.
(C) Rosemarie Rowley
From IN MEMORY OF HER (2008)
Dedicated to Fran Salone-Pelletier,
News Columnist and Lead Chaplain
There is a point many people may miss;
No one is either without gifts or useless
When what our goal should always be
Making sure God is always in our company.
Why should unrest and riots be stirred?
When word of God we should have heard;
Remove weapons and pistols from a holster;
Let God in your life safely build and bolster.
With God, anything you can achieve;
Is straight-forward and does not deceive
Even though you receive many insults
God is proof of pudding with positive results.
So you should pray to God every day;
Be sure He's in your life and only way
And for every reason has a rhyme
Putting you on right path every time.
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