Rinkydinks: Volume 3

Q: What kind of boat might a former governor of Texas have used to help illegals get across the Rio Grande? A: A Rick Perry ferry. Q: What did the official Vatican CPA discuss with a former Pontiff? A: Pope Francis' finances. Q: What is the shudder you feel when you think you've seen a ghost? A: A phantasm spasm. Q: What is the best prescription for the nightly news blahs? A: The David Muir cure. Q: Who is a columnist who writes about fashion shows? A: A couture reviewer. Q: What do you call a really careless guy who accidentally shoots himself? A: A ballistic statistic. Q: What do you call a large reptilian predator's temporary replacement? A: An ad hoc croc. Q: What is an opera extravaganza in Milan, Italy? A: A La Scala gala. Q: How would a waitress explain to a customer why his ham and eggs are green? A: With a Dr. Seuss excuse. Q: What was everyone asking when Franz Joseph hadn't been seen for a few days? A: Where was Papa Haydn hidin'?