She strode from her apartment door
Right to a chauffeured car
In workout clothes, so I suppose
She wasn’t going far.
The lifestyles of the rich, I guess,
Are not like mine or yours.
The luxury of what might be
Is more than opened doors.
It constitutes a life of ease
Where ordinary stress
Just disappears and with it, fears
The rest of us possess.
It doesn’t mean they’re happier,
Despite their lavish means;
But how I’d thrive with one to drive
As I plied my routines!
There once was a chauffeur called Bart,
Who had a Rolls that wouldn’t start.
He wanted to be green -
His boss was very mean -
So now he drives a horse and cart.
Lovely Chauffeur
by Rick Rucker
While riding in the car were we,
She turned to me, suddenly,
Then, right out, without preamble,
My disordered life, she turned into a shamble!
"We haven't been dating all that long,"
"But for two in Love, living apart is wrong!"
Good thing she was behind the wheel,
My legs, I could no longer feel!
In these last months, I mounted a campaign,
To win this maiden, but this just fried my brain!
The issue hadn't been neglected,
Still, this was quite unexpected!
In my mind, I'd set an ambitious goal,
In a year, to change my status to "us," from "sole."
This was even faster still,
I kept from screaming, by sheer will!
Christmas was but yesterday,
I didn't see that my greatest gift would come today!
Nothing in this life is certain,
But before her, I was really hurtin'
I know I love her, and she, me,
I believe we'll be in Love eternally.
None of this is written in Stone,
But neither wants to live Alone!
We'll give it our best shot!
I'm a lucky guy, she's REALLY HOT!
Mr. Smooth has a splendid social life
He's got adoring kids, a loving wife
He's a well-educated gentleman
Knowing so much, still learning all he can.
He's got a pleasant way of winning friends
The rich and the wretched, the saints and the fiends
So likeable, so popular is he
That he's the guy most people want to be.
I envy him his fame, his name
But I don't have much to offer
I'm just his lowly chauffeur
At his long limo's steering wheel
As he gets every winning deal.
Mr. Smooth heads the boardrooms, makes much wealth
Got a sculpted body and superb health
And women swoon when he greets them hello
Threatened machos smile when he had to go.
He's got me waiting a bit longer now
So unusual, much like breaking a vow
The scared guard said Mr. Smooth did decide
To call it quits, then gulped down cyanide!