appearances
what's out there
and in here
appearances of
The dark spill muddied my canvas:
Made its mess, dislocated light
And thoughtful lines to the edges
While it claimed the center for spite.
It seemed like all was wrecked.
The time I'd worked nightly
To craft something perfect
(Or at least not unsightly)
Laid to waist.
A vision erased.
But then, I spied a photo of the original.
I thought it would be pretty, as a picture.
Instead, I noticed flaws so visible
They would lead a critic to stricture.
It looked off-colored or drab in places.
Contrived and technically bad.
Downright mediocre and graceless.
My memory of the thing had
Rendered more precious and dear
The plainness this new light made clear.
An impression most unimpressive.
The thing once grieved not worth its mourning.
No longer the crafter obsessive
Or wracked with yearning.
What a stroke of luck!
Now on to scrape the surface
Or from a new layer construct
An entirely new interface.
The choice entirely my own
Blank space for the unknown…
With no room left for you.
Why can't my mind be a blank space
Be empty of all the self-hate.
Why can't my brain just not care
When I'm treated worse for wear.
All feelings do are drag you down
A rabbit hole of anger and harm
I just want to feel numb to it all
And try not to care any more.
'Why are you sad?' They ask
'Just cheer up,' they say
Wow as if I haven't tried that anyway.
As if I am not trying to be sane
When I'm down and feel depressed
It's my emotions I'm forced to repress
It's my feelings I try to hide
To avoid being called selfish for feeling almost dead inside.
I can't even tell anyone
About how I feel or I'll be left undone
So to avoid that I force myself to hide,
Hide how I feel, blank space blank mind
(blank space)
Do you notice
the blank space
above..?
The words
you are reading
diminish
the message
above..
Here are
more words and
more
diminishment..
You are invited
to erase the
words and
Return...
Blank Space
Speak to me Oh, Life!
Tell me which way I ought to go from here
Does it take miles and miles
Does it take days and days
Shall I take risks or forget my pride
Shall I bid blood and cry
Oh, Life! Have you not noticed my darker sky
'Twas and 'tis written on my gloomy eyes!
Deport me from this lost city I am consciously in
Oh, Life! Be just and be fair!
Listen as I plead
Dwell me no more in prison
Dwell me no more in torment
Make my spirit alive and productive
Lead me to the better place
Unwrite my name in the blank space
What words could I even use in the describing of His Way
For I would only possibly confuse in every word that I say
It's not of me to be able to do so as in this you walk alone
But He will certainly know as you'll see in His Light shone
Just looking in from the outside, one who is just passing by
And though you can't say I haven't tried, one would ask why
I needn't even do a thing for if The Lord called you'd respond
And such joy does it all bring in having this very special bond
But I'm not the one who can help you out or make you believe
Only He knows your every doubt only He can say not to grieve
No this is all your call as you are the one who must now decide
For I can never make you hear His Call no matter how I've tried
His Words are affecting you as His Word affects this entire place
How could you not know in just the feeling of His amazing grace
Look now into His wondrous sky can't you just sense His Glory
In all of this there is no I, only He is going to let you see His story
James 2:22
Seest thou how faith wrought with his works,
and by works was faith made perfect?
The blank space zero
in circle stars and planets
The big universe