Best Willies Poems

Fires at a blue pills lab threw up a cloud
Settling over the town like a great shroud
And this gigantic mushroom 
Created a baby boom
Because all...

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A is for a**l
B is for balls
Share them or wear them
Tucked up in your smalls
C is for condoms 
Of all shapes and sizes
D is for...

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Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan...

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maudlin

maudlin Monday's mostly mud
halts the weekend with woeful thud
laughs and sillies
get the willies
on maudlin Monday, what a dud

tintinnabulous

tintinnabulous Tuesday
is the second paying-dues day
we head uphill
but...

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Each book in my library must be read, each one, each and every one,
vagrant, homeless papers must find a forever home, I must
edit, amend, revise,...

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In Iceland there’s a Willy museum
It’s not huge like an old Colosseum
Filled with all types of willies
It would give me the sillies
But people pay lots...

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I need it all the time
I hunt for it.
I advertise for it.
I answer ads for it.
Anyone else need it as badly as I do?
Oh I'm...

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“I don’t know.
It’s been just one of those itchy
dry skin days 
where you know somethin’ has to happen
but it ain’t;
at least not chet.
I was expecting...

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There's a mighty fine fellow named Jack
Who with the ladies has a real knack
Has a case of the sillies
Sometimes gives you the willies
Watch your girl...

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Halloween at the Bates Hotel (revised)

The attendant in the Ghostface rig was kinda creepy,
When I came in to pay him what I owed.
“Is there a...

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No Halloween Candy

I can't get no Halloween candy.
I can't get no Halloween candy.
But I try, and I try, and I try, and I try.
I can't...

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the kids are acting funny, honey.

they like to play out in the fields.

they don’t care about our money

or how much our company yields.

they want to...

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Halloween at the Bates Hotel
The attendant in the Ghostface rig was kinda creepy,
When I came in to pay the gas I owed.
“Is there a motel...

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A NEW COUNTRY SONG




I was ravaged today
by

three country songs 
on the truck radio 
each moaning the lyrics  
". . daddy's pickup truck"
and "the Georgia...

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COUNTRY MUSIC

I was ravaged today
by

three consecutive country songs 
on the radio while driving
each moaning the lyrics  
". . daddy's pickup truck"
and "the Georgia mud"
while...

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