Best Waitress Poems
“All men are pricks” she says
“Are you sure about that?” I say
I look deep into her eyes
and she half smiles.
She holds the stare and so do I.
“Whatever a woman says, she means
the opposite” she says with a giggle
and stubs her cigarette.
She leaves to do a chore
inside the café.
I sip my latte and wait
for her to come back.
I love our little chats!
Ah~ a pleasurable job I thought!
Loved serving people and making them happy.
For I knew as a customer, what it was like to have service that was
truly crappy.
I relished customers smiles when their water glasses, I filled!
And their satisfied grins, when coffee cups were kept refreshed.
Don't ask me why, but it gave me a thrill!
I have worked in pancake houses, Japanese Yakitori places, donut shops,
a Howard Johnson's and two Italian ones, too.
Quite honestly, in retrospect, I was happier in restaurants than any, structured, educational zoo.
The best part I saved for last!
Coming home, taking off my shoes, so very exhausted but with
bulging pockets holding huge amounts of cash.
Then counting all the change and the bills! You see, I honestly felt like a
millionaire.
Indeed, each night was a thrill. I felt I was the Queen of the Hill!
September 15, 2019
12:15 am
Well you're saying your steak isn't rare
And there's food stains on your silverware
You say I exude
A bad attitude
Well just ask me if I really care!
You've been nothing but trouble for me
Now you're trying to get your meal free
I've seen your type before
Let me show you the door
No you can't have a refill of tea!
Now I hear all these rude things you say
Don't you know I work hard for my pay?
I'm as good as you are
Guess I'll go hit the bar
Cos' I'm quitting this job anyway!
**for contest "A Fly On The Wall"
sponsored by Michael Falotico
WAITRESS OF MY ORDER
God since rules and joules
Protects and provides
Thou shall order a Christmas mistress
A true teacher gloved with grace and care.
Who squarely wears healthy communications,
In competitive advertisers of sun and moon supervisions.
Danishly blessed with wealthier tolerance,
To pass life’s unpredictable weather turbulence.
Should……..would be fabricated or traits,
With compromising and improvising grains.
Welcoming diversity of cruel world of happenings,
Or graph moon phases till December dazzlings.
A mustard seed of all conditions
Where her children playfully dwell in definitions
And serves with heart open palm
In stream humility of princess calm.
Gladly listen to all ages with ample attention,
That never intonates gossips’ intention.
Admirable household oriented skimmed individual.
But friendlier and great just principal.
Waitress can I have a cup of coffee?
Maybe, one day, you will join me
For you never stop, you never stop
You serve, always with a smile
Taking orders all the day long
For you never stop, you never stop
Seeing you always brightens the day
Cleaning the tables for the next diner
For you never stop, you never stop
So keep a thought for all the waitresses
Coming to your table, serving good food
They never stop, they never stop
waitress serves chicken
a diner jokes this tastes fowl~
she is not amused
Slimy dishes and vigorous appetites
This is the life
Of a Waitress
Excuse me, miss
My potatoes are cold and
I can’t seem to function without
Your absolute attention from those
Bright Brown Eyes
Oily skin from daylight sneers
Dirty and Discreet desire from clients
Dark rimmed eyes fill the face
Silent
Pauper-like stealth clicking up empty glasses
Five for five fingers, sweep
Swift, sly, unseen, insignificant
Just another Blue Collar
Reverse Prima Donna
Heavy trays and snapping fingers
Tinkling of silverware against what was
Porcelain, soft and beautiful
Now hard and marble
Beautiful beautiful
I pull down this ponytail and let
Luscious curls cascade over delicate shoulders
Take off the putrid uniform
And don a red dress of passion and fairytales
Take off the weary, trodden on
Face of disgrace
Replaced with beams of moonshine
Leave
Dreams wasted away on 5 dollar tips
And be a Queen you’ll never know
the noose around my neck only a little colorful scarf on my last day as a slave
to the chefs always screaming their short comings as it's never the fault of the pressure cooker of the kitchen
to managers revolving the doors and telling you are call waiter as you have to wait for the couple that forgot to get a room as they gross you out with their display
an hour or more for the worst tip of the night as they are here to push your buttons
the maitre D as I told them to change their tune if to collect a percentage of your earning and to be sued ask you to finish his job as he is leaving to catch his train on clockwork schedule every night
the next day the computer was fixed with a new tittle and not a thanks from general management to save their ass from a lawsuit as I heard rumors of protest
the bartender an other story as drug dealers you have to bow to them or they will make your life difficult and suck as otherwise your customers will have to wait for their needs
the owners mostly absent only showing their faces to collect do not know the ordeal
as in the past they forgot to declare you and their earnings everything under the table but them protected you are the one suffering the consequence of retirement as you show zero on your social security number for years and never paid hourly toil dusting the chairs and the what not if only mouse **** I though I had a deal with them to pay my taxes and I will be all right
took me two years to amend their lies as they though I was a wet back with fake identity
but still those years show as zero as they didn't pay their due to the government for the welfare of old age but their own
to the clients as they are the redemption of many fun night
with the exchange of words to make a meal memorable
that is what made my job worthwhile as I had a chance to meet many stars enjoying my back serve
black pants white shirt I could tell you so many stories of encounter
without a menu
leggy waitress spinning round
silken table cloth.
Served us,
with a plate of nonsense.
we ate it and fell asleep
Working like a dog for no wage at all,
She said I’m going to make it, I ain’t going to fall.
She said it’s not easy being cheerful but she needs those tips,
Lot of people just enjoy giving waitress’s a hard time and a lot of lip.
She knows she has to smile, she’s got children to raise,
Working this dead end job with very little praise.
She said she wished she finished school, at least learned how to type,
I apologize she said seems all I ever do is gripe.
She said when I leave this job I don’t get much rest,
I’ve got to go home and cook and clean, Lord I’ve just got so much on my chest.
She said daycare is getting more expensive what with the rising price of gas,
And I can’t seem to satisfy my old boss, she’s always chewing on my --- !
She said I don’t know how I ever got myself into the situation I’m in,
She said Lord I’m calling out your name, I need you again.
She said my old man was a bum and I was glad to see him go,
Said he wouldn’t work or help take care of the kids, pure dee worthless you know!
She said mister why in the world you want to interview a waitress for anyway?
My goodness she said but it’s your dime, and I can sure use the extra pay.
Said there ain’t much more to tell except you spend the biggest part of your day on your feet.
And come time for the end of your shift you're pretty much beat.
Well I handed her a couple hundreds and said I appreciate the chat,
She looked at that money and said mister I sure wasn’t expecting any thing like that.
As she turned to walk away I slipped another hundred under my plate,
If you’ve got a little extra and you see someone who’s down share a little, it might change someone’s fate.
Just swiped my card
I can hear footsteps all around
Plates and cups banging
A tray falls on the ground
In,
out,
corner,
behind you
Meals over,
Bring ice cream
You just have to
No ice to scoop
Appetizers are cold
Kitchen is backed up
Sometimes it gets so old
Your new so they'll test you
Try to cheat you out of tips,
This “co-worker”..not quite legit
One might have pulled a fast one
But a mistake only happens once
Next time you need food run
Your on your own son
I want to drink you naked
the same way I would a complex
whisky.
seduce your Wheat
out of a glencairn glass/
nose your acrobatic aroma/
leave my base/
thrill your grains.
you are a
provocative contradiction.
I want to drink you naked
you are my measured
recipe.
Waitress
David J Walker
There is a waitress working at
The Sunrise coffee shop
Who knows her tips depend
On a convincing performance
To that end she knows my name
I am
Darlin or
sugar or
sweets pie
It’s good to live in the South
She reminds me of how
21 felt
She reminds me of the
Freedom from obligation
She reminds me of lost
Liberal thought
She reminds me of unbridled
Anticipation
She reminds me of how one can
Live on minimum wage
She reminds me that my songs
Are sung by dead and dying artists
She reminds me though my clothes
are clean they are sadly out of date
She reminds me of the awkwardness
Of the ascending obligations of adulthood
She reminds me of a
Hungering wontedness
She reminds me of the mysteries
Of sex
She reminds me, unintentionally,
That I’m a grandfather
She reminds me that I am a veteran of battles
Won or lost a half century ago
She reminds me that no matter what else I am
I am also the mentor of everyday students
Walking the streets
It’s worth an extra dollar or so
To let her know
Her smile and the coffee is enough to
Keep me coming back
Where every morning she serves it up
hot and black
With the mystery of memories
On the side
For a little c-note, will you stay by me a while?
You have turned my luck, and it is raising my pile.
My fortunes have been so lousy in this joint.
Since you came by, the shooter is making his point.
I know you have customers waiting for their drinks.
You probably think my logic and reasoning stinks.
Will another bill be enough to keep you by my side?
My luck is good now, and I do not want to be denied.
I am almost even again and nearly out of harm.
Come on cutie, stay and be my good luck charm.