Best Veal Poems
All this hyped up glam and glitz
giggly girls break down in fits
these mascara clad boys devoid of wits
The shallower they go, the deeper it gets
Sillouettes lacking inner angles and lines...
The substance goes absent when the light shines...
Plotless drama without direction, still winds
These tragically bad fads spread like vines
Overrun with Reality shows depicting what's REAL
A mass zombie audience digesting their meal
Not In, but outside, this box they soften like veal
Staring at a screen that numbs how they feel
When did the war on intelligence start?
Losers not knowing that losing's not smart...
Cable providers gladly doing their part
News channels selling half-truth ala carte
I will be a rebel and fight for your mind
Hiding remote-controls where they won't find
Trading entertainment for knowledge in kind
Giving books out to the voluntarily blind
It's gonna be a BATTLE!!! WHO'S COMING WITH ME??!!
Dumplings
As I walk into the kitchen, for a snack,
my mother, her apron, night black hair, and jade bracelet,
makes me dumplings.
She combines the mixture of monotonous ingredients
into something extraordinary.
The water, like a youthful spring, rejuvenated the frozen, faltering fruits of nature,
Mixing the Yangtzee, Hei Long Jiang, and Chang Jiang into a savory paste of veal and kiwi green scallions and chives.
The distinct sound of chopping drowned my thoughts, easing my stress, and bringing a unique rhythm into my mind.
The dough, seeping under her fingers, was firm yet malleable
as if she was molding
the future.
The clicking of the gas stove, rumbling of the pot, flattening of the dumpling skins, the clinking of bowls and chopsticks, the scrubbing noises in the sink.
A rousing prelude to an intoxicating fugue…
Dinner
To the diner Mac went for a meal
Where he ordered two helpings of veal.
All he had was one dime
Could not pay! What a crime!
Washing-up was the fairest MacDeal.
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Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer
Placed 4th
© 2nd June 2017
It was way after eight, at the Cat in the Hat.
The whole plaice was swimming, quoth the mackrel to sprat.
Though the milk was upset, she still stifled her cry,
So sorry i spilt you, mumbled poor humble pie.
My joints are the bees knees, squealed the honey roast ham,
And the apple agreed, she was better than spam.
Then red herring denied, he had something to hide,
Like a small Bombay duck, is a fish that is dried.
While tasty choux pastry, bared her soul to an eel,
The mock turtle announced, i believe i am veal.
And the ice cube was crushed, as she played fast and loose,
For an orange refused, to be part of fruit juice.
As warm rhubarb crumble, melts in custards embrace,
The sour gooseberry tart, wails she's taking my place
Then a voice in my head, spoke it's all fantasy.
Your table awaits you, said the waitress to me.
I glanced at the menu, it was all a la carte.
I said, bring me everything, but let's start with that tart.
Adventures of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
No1.
Robin’s Thick Member
We wuz out huntin that day
Ah remembers as plain as can be
When a ansome buck came us way
Fust to shoot was me mate Unlucky
Now that buck he just looked in us faces
With an air of his royal decree
Displayin his arrogunt graces
At the arra there stuck in the tree
Ah says, “Robin, he won’t be best pleased
At missin his dinner agen
Your damn good at arrain trees
An pissin off his merry men”
If we goes back to camp with no meal
That maid, she will giv us sum stick
She’ll shove us sum manky old veal
An the merry men will all be sick”
Then Unlucky he says that he saw
Over there be-ind the rockery
A big ol boy of a boar
But his arra, yes, it foun a tree
Stood Marion with expectation
The night would be one great party
But after me grand explanation
We was whipped a foot up from the knee
Then Robin “Unlucky”, he says
“You’s a poor shot as all us can see
If that buck agen inter view strays
Just bloomin well aims fer the tree.
Coz averages seem to dictate
You could bag that buck if you tried
If only you’d concentrate
An wern’t so bloody cross eyed”
So Unlucky he thinks to his sen
I’ll show them a thing or two
That big head an his stinky men
Will be dinin on best red deer stew
Once more he foun his sen afore
That deer who was showin no fear
He watched as his arra did soar
Past that grinnin bucks twitchin left ear
But wait, that buck he was down
His hooves in the air on his back
The arra that just missed his crown
Had given him sheer heart attack
He was cheered when he got back to camp
An the night became one great party
With a bow he was proclaimed a champ
An no longer known as Unlucky.
Sonnet for a Vegan
No, No, No I won’t eat meat,
Breeding Animals to slaughter and eat.
Lambs, Chickens, Turkey and Cow,
Killing for food seems wrong somehow.
We treated him well, Farmer said
Lamb was 8 months before stunned dead.
Nice bit of Veal only 12 weeks old,
Beautiful and tender the Butcher sold.
Now I’m in a minority, under 2 percent,
Just another oddball with feelings to vent.
Nut Roast my treat on Christmas Day,
Does God eat meat, I’ll ask him when I pray.
So, No, No I won’t eat meat,
Save the young Lamb, so he might bleat.
Shopping day arrives and the shopper
has in mind
A delicacy called veal she knows she
will find
It's in a nicely wrapped pack its contents
pink
She'll cook it just right with some wine
to drink
But there's a sad story behind that Plastic
pack
A baby's calf's body not long ago was on
a rack
He had cried and cried where did mama
go
She had never left him alone like this before
Then they led him at last down that scary
Green Mile
His legs were shaking and he tried hard not
to defile
He heard the cries from the animals all around
He thought he heard mama as he fell dead on
the ground
Today I picked the garden fruit,
To make complete a tasty meal;
And came across an aphid brute.
Today I picked the garden fruit,
Beside my house of holes and root;
To emphasis my scalloped veal.
Today I picked the garden fruit;
To make complete a tasty meal.
I cleared the vines of ripened crop,
Then freed my back from painful stoop;
And took inside to finely chop.
I cleared the vines of ripened crop,
To later make some veggie soup;
And then I’ll go to bed and drop.
I cleared the vines of ripened crop;
Then freed my back from painful stoop.
Copyright © 2013 By Caryl S. Muzzey
First Place Winner ~ "Triolet" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Giorgio Veneto
Sept. 4, 2013
Wish to wake up surrounded by the snow-capped Alps
Sipping tea in the quiet, quaint villages of Switzerland
Watching the glittering ripples of sapphire blue lakes
Staying in picturesque lakeside hamlets
Overlooking emerald valleys and majestic mountain peaks
Wish to climb the summit of the Matterhorn
To ride in horse-drawn carriages in the village of Zermatt
Journeying through train to Jungfraujoch
Riding cable cars and gondolas over the Lauterbrunnen Valley
Visiting flourishing flower gardens in Interlaken
Enjoying the Swiss Transport Museum in Lucerne
Wish to write about the beauty of Lake Geneva
From within the halls of the famed Chateau de Chillon
Skiing and snowboarding in St. Moritz’s Cresta Run
Stopping by in the Rose Garden and Bear Park
In the stunning Swiss capital of Bern
Wish to go to the Zurich Zoo with my family
Walk the cobbled streets of the Old Town
Strolling toward the Swiss National Museum
Call on the tennis great Roger Federer in his Wollerau home
Watch him practise his game and spend time with his family
Wish to enjoy some Cheese fondue and Älplermagronen
With Rosti and Zürcher Geschnetzelte, a veal dish
It would be wonderful to eat Engadiner Torte
Taste some Huppen wafer biscuits
And some sweet Swiss chocolate
If I were to go on a vacation,
I would choose Switzerland
without a second thought
Dreamy and inviting
That’s the place I wish to see.
28th March 2022
For L Milton Hankins' "My Dream Vacation" contest
From the bottom of my heart
I thank you honey bee
for all that liquid gold
that's bought and sold
Your precious honey from your tiny womb
Yes God bless thy fine honeycomb.
But sorry for stealing
your liquid of healing!
And thankyou baa baa bleating sheep
for your warming fluffy wool
The cold makes the babies weep
and they could die of the cool.
Mother hen to you thankyou
for protein packed trays of gratis eggs
and forgive me, for delicious drumstick legs!
And mooing cows sorry for taking
your calf's milk we too love drinking
for cakes have to be baking
Ah, and apologies for loving those tasty fish fillets
Coated and fried in those fine sizzling skillets
And thankyou little silkworm
Silken dresses have been the norm
Deers thankyou for musk, and venison for the meal
Apologies to calves for partaking of their veal.
Ah thankyou God for all that food
If we thank Him not we're ingrates rude.
FISH AND FISHING
Eat fish and you’re fed for one meal says my wife;
But learn how to fish and you’re fed all your life.
But the taste of that fish
It’s not what I wish -
It’s meat and potatoes I want on my knife.
If I had to catch what I eat in the sea
With never a taste of a sausage or pea,
My meals would be sad
And my taste-buds not glad.
I’d rather have nothing at all but my tea.
The fish in the ocean need not fear me.
Just turnips and carrots and cabbage, you see,
And porkchops and veal
And burgers ; not eel,
Nor dolphin, nor codfish nor kedgeree.
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Written for John Freeman's Contest: Limericks About Fishing
I ate
The bones of dogs
I ate the past before it ate me
I ate my heart
So I am with out love
I seek my next meal
Blood pie and veal
I ate the lips of a lover
I sealed the kiss with the wish of another
I am still starving, deep within
Where is this kiss
Too feed me again?
I ate the dreams of my childhood
I turned time upside-down
Yet it’s me who is lost
I am rotten from the stomach
For eating the impure
I ravish the thoughts of your loins
OH yes I eat like a king
The sweet smell of sauce makes me begin
This voyage into a lover’s sin
I am the creation of my own demise
I ate my own legs, so now I no longer run
A lover with no legs, she considers no fun
So she ate me whole, rather than catch
A romantic meal
Candles in flame
Death my only fame
A table set for three
Permission to be excused
A dish of veal served
Behind the toilet
His revenge is set and planned
Back to the table
He sits in silence
As train passes by, he stands
A table for one
I’m just bunny,
with a hop so funny,
who’s hungry and needing a carrot-
so I flop and plop down on my seat
and bugging me is a purple ferret.
Wanting to know what I wish,
he offers me his favorite meal,
he loves the fried fish,
oh what a dish,
but I really want carrot veal!
“WE DON’T HAVE A DEAL
ON CARROT VEAL TODAY”,
he shouts with violence-
but what a steal for that great meal!
Then he stands there in silence.
I sit and ponder with anticipated
wonder and before I opened my lips,
he shouts like thunder,
so I take cover
and I fall down and break my hips!
“I TOLD YOU THE FISH
WOULD FLIP AND SWISH
AND YOU DIDN’T CARE,
YOU MUST ORDER WHAT’S ON THE LIST
AND CARROT VEAL ISN’T THERE!”
I have to strip,
for I have a broken hip,
needed to see how hurt I am,
so I unzip and what a trip!
He says, “HOW BOUT YOU TRY THE HAM?”
But I have a friend who is a pig,
he snorts with his snout and is too big,
he loves my jokes and wears a pink wig
and has a strange obsession to dig.
“I can’t eat ham, my friend silly Sam
says I could never eat him for lunch,
trying the lamb might be better than ham,"
then the ferret had a hunch.
“JUST SIP ON THE POETRY SOUP,
THEN EAT THE BLUE ROAST BEAST,
YOU DIP IT IN JUICE AND THEN THE FRUIT,
FOR THE CHEF IS AN ARTISTE!”,
I wonder what poetry soup tastes like
and if it speaks as I read along-
I ponder and think if it’s a waste
if the words disappear as I write a song.
For I’d love to be a songwriter
with strong abs so tighter
and a marvelous voice to sing-
it’d be tough on my soft fur
with if sweat occurs
and my pink ears would stink!
After all that,
sitting in the diner “Cat in the Hat”,
I finally know what I desire!
It’s expensive and high-class
but I chose to fry my own fish in the diner fire.
I hop to the loo,
and you would too,
if you were as full as my tummy-
“uh-oh…” I say then I walk away...
I’m just a funny bunny with no money!
I Need A Cup Of Seuss
March 30, 2017
These humorous lines were inspired by
Viv Wigley's "Food Fight" contest.
Could not resist the temptation:)
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Lettuce pray before eating.
He likes rabbit, but can’t stand hair in stew.
A carrot is worth its weight in gold.
To lam a lamb? Terrible!!
Is it wise to pare a pear before eating?
Chopin onions – not musical but certainly tearful!
The bull’s life is at steak.
Cross my heart said the honest brussel sprout.
The pig was too thin...that saved his bacon.
Wearing a bird costume sent me raven mad.
Buy caviar from stir gin’s row.
The servant was maid to eat umble pie.
She could hardly talk after eating hoarse meat.
He’s wrapped up in his food.
Humbug! This is apple sauce!
Excitement in the kitchen – fat in the fire.
A flounder struggles to walk. It’s flat footed.
I enjoyed my drink – pleased as Punch.
One look at the dessert...I scream!
Take the guilt off the gingerbread.
I invited the golfer to high tee.
Take your plaice at the table; we’re eating fish today.
Open the lid and reveal some of the meat.
What a pity! The gobbling turkey had a lump in its throat.
The peacemeal destroyed our friendship.
Make no bones about filleted fish.
Next time just ask for dessert; don’t mince words.
Keep your eye on the roast, or else it will go to pot.
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Placed 3rd
© 28th December 2017