Best Toupee Poems

It flips and flops from side to side 
and if the wind is blowing it will be going.
One ear is covered and the other is...

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"Monday Dreadful Monday"

Most people are terrified of its presence
Only this moment can be the most hated
No more time for r&r....that's reefer and rum
Damn it....if he...

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So You think the Toupee is Smart
An Orange little Toddler
Who Thought it was cool
To Hate People Who were Different
And Tweets without manners or rules

Where did...

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Now let me be the first to hasten to say,

And all your smirks and snide remarks allay,

That I've never darkened the door of a cabaret,

Where...

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When I shop for an automobile,
I don’t worry much about speed.
Good mileage per gallon I want.
A van or a truck I don’t need!

So I guess...

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I must admit that I ain't very handy with hammer and nails,
And am hopelessly at sea when figurin' technical details.
As to fixin' things with fancy...

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A memory is found in the back of my mind
That I thought was stored away
It's creeping back in, without my approval
Oh why would it treat...

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What if God isn't a he or a she but a he she
eating quiche in a teepee with a toupee 
in the company of a...

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My closest friends, who number three
I heed not thus for loyalty
and neither camaraderie 
but simply in proximity

They live not down my alleyway
nor porch, nor in...

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Standing in the wings, on the periphery

of her cultivated world, inhibited only by

station and space, my head slowly spins

into her orbit, my eye lids twitter...

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Wes Wilson wore a toupee
which cost him a month's pay.
Then one night
it took flight
when spotted by a bird of prey....

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Really feel like being naughty today
I'll start by describing a sexual ballet
Tripping the light fantastic
Doing some artistic gymnastics
Guess I better glue down my toupee...

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A football star with super speed,
Our prom king, Kyle, has gone to seed.
No longer likely to succeed,
He's out of work and hooked on weed.

Behind you's...

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Take the moments, 
add that time there was a lady
Walking up to the grocery store.

The balloon boy drama.
The mother and her baby strolling
Quite in their...

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Would I change from a girl, and give up all my curls?
Would I quit wearing dresses, stop paying hairdressers?
Change places with him? Be a “he”,...

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