Bean Juice
A memory is found in the back of my mind
That I thought was stored away
It's creeping back in, without my approval
Oh why would it treat me this way
I keep thinking about that bean juice
But it's not what you people may think
Get your minds out of that smelly gutter
For it has nothing to do with the stink
See, we were singing at this fundraiser
Kind of an all you can eat buffet
What happened next was a nightmare
And I keep trying to forget that day
As I went down the line, with plate in hand
The soup beans were all I could see
Since my mother died, the beans were scarce
For my wife wouldn't make them for me
My plate was full, as my heart leapt with joy
From this promising prize that I'd found
I know what you're thinking so stop it!
It has nothing to do with that sound
The place that I'd chosen to sample this treat
Was packed like a can of sardines
But I was in a hurry to find my seat
So I could get to those wonderful beans
At the front of the table sit a famous guest
A popular radio D J
Though try as I might the path was too tight
As my bean juice had found his toupee
Now with beans in my plate and egg on my face
I had only myself to blame
For three beans with juice sat on top of his head
As my wife hid her poor face in shame
I mean what could I say to comfort this man
As my meal sat on top of his head
So I just bit my tongue and walked away
And hoped he didn't notice instead
Well my guilt would get the best of me
As I approached him later that day
I reach for his hand, and say I'm sorry my friend
For I've spilled bean juice on top your toupee
Well, the man wasn't happy to say the least
And I really can't blame him at all
For I'm stuck in this slow motion memory
As I watching that bean juice fall
Well, that's my story and all of it's true
Maybe one day that memory will pass
See, I told you this story was not what you thought
For it had nothing to do with gas
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