Bean Juice

A memory is found in the back of my mind
That I thought was stored away
It's creeping back in, without my approval
Oh why would it treat me this way

I keep thinking about that bean juice
But it's not what you people may think
Get your minds out of that smelly gutter
For it has nothing to do with the stink

See, we were singing at this fundraiser
Kind of an all you can eat buffet
What happened next was a nightmare
And I keep trying to forget that day

As I went down the line, with plate in hand
The soup beans were all I could see
Since my mother died, the beans were scarce
For my wife wouldn't make them for me

My plate was full, as my heart leapt with joy
From this promising prize that I'd found
I know what you're thinking so stop it!
It has nothing to do with that sound

The place that I'd chosen to sample this treat
Was packed like a can of sardines
But I was in a hurry to find my seat
So I could get to those wonderful beans

At the front of the table sit a famous guest
A popular radio D J
Though try as I might the path was too tight
As my bean juice had found his toupee

Now with beans in my plate and egg on my face
I had only myself to blame
For three beans with juice sat on top of his head
As my wife hid her poor face in shame

I mean what could I say to comfort this man
As my meal sat on top of his head
So I just bit my tongue and walked away
And hoped he didn't notice instead

Well my guilt would get the best of me
As I approached him later that day
I reach for his hand, and say I'm sorry my friend
For I've spilled bean juice on top your toupee

Well, the man wasn't happy to say the least
And I really can't blame him at all
For I'm stuck in this slow motion memory
As I watching that bean juice fall

Well, that's my story and all of it's true
Maybe one day that memory will pass
See, I told you this story was not what you thought
For it had nothing to do with gas
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Peranteau Avatar
December 9, 2010 at 8:08 AM
Hello Mr. Belt...I was going through my poems whic I had favorited in the past and came across this great write, a very witty one at that; and I took notice of your seventh stanza, first verse, the word: "sit"; I'm wondering if that word should be, sat ? And...I don't think that this experience will forever sit on a shelf with out notice in your life time ! *smiles* Great write dear poet ! It was a pleasure to read again. much love, james
Mitchell Avatar
June 25, 2010 at 2:54 AM
Ha, ha! It's funny how beans can cause embarassing moments!! : ) This was great! Congratulations on your win.
White Avatar
June 23, 2010 at 2:39 AM
Haha Larry Congrats on the win- well reading this debacle WAS a gas- Smiles
Brown Avatar
June 21, 2010 at 7:34 AM
Congratulations on your win in Paula Swanson's contest "The Light Is On, But Nobody Is Home" Larry. Love, Carol
Winter Avatar
June 14, 2010 at 7:30 AM
LOL! Awesome, well deserved First Place Win! Ha! Hilarious! Hi Larry - congrats to you! love, shar
Murphy Avatar
June 14, 2010 at 6:50 AM
loved it great one larry congrats on your win so well deserved keep it up love reading your poetry faleshia
Tideswell Avatar
June 14, 2010 at 1:50 AM
ha ha, great story and big congrats on your first place win. Unfortunately I missed the deadline with my 'word trouble' but I posted it anyway. Your poem is a worthy winner ~ Sharon :)
Green Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 11:39 PM
Of course you would win, Larry! You are the Master of Disaster~! Congrats my friend!
Sweetheart Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 9:22 PM
Big congrats Larry on another number one poem in Paula's contest.. another fantastic write ..and win for u my friend.. with luv from the "Sweetheart"
Harrison Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:55 PM
This is a scream! I loved it! I laughed so hard tears came out of my eyes. Too funny.
K. Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:33 PM
oh yikes!! lol ^_^ I definitely expected gas when I read your title, hahaha poor man with the toupee! and somehow I could picture that slow-mo juice spilling over his head, just like in the movies! Super congrats on your first place win, Larry! --nikko :)
Richards Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:28 PM
Hopefully the poor victim of your "spill" is laughing and telling this story too !! Great poem!! Loved it!!
Johnson Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:07 PM
This is funny and I am sure a great embarrasment at the time. A worthy win. Congratulations on your first place. Love, joyce
Mehta Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 7:58 PM
Congrats on the first win, Larry
Devonshire Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 7:54 PM
Very funny, Larry. Congrats on your first-place win! Love, Carolyn
Taylor Avatar
May 25, 2010 at 10:56 AM
Hilarous, Larry. Longer than most of your stuff but you had a lot to tell. Great job. Thanks for your comments on JFK. ...Ralph
Peranteau Avatar
May 25, 2010 at 6:19 AM
Simply funny Sir ! Very well done poetically ! I loved it ! into mine favz it goes ! james
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