Best Totaling Poems
I'm near cuckoo
This Monday blue
A day not eas'ly recommended
for making sense
I'm way too tense
And hung-over to comprehend it
My mind's on the bend
my imaginary friends
are threatening to abandon en masse
I was perfectly sane
till they pissed in my brain
negotiations are at an impasse
It pains me to mention
the bone of contention
menacing our peaceful existence
my voices of own creation
went above their station
with mutinous and unfair persistence
Old Mother Hubbard
had sneaked to the cupboard
to steal skeleton bones for her yapper
the skeletons in-wait
welcomed their bait
with little resistance managed to trap her
As to why she'd no clue
their demands were few
and until met they'd keep her as hostage
twixt two skeletons squeezed
the hag was well-pleased
only in dreams she was ever in bondage
The skeletons vacated
on their long-awaited
crusade for their rights to be equal
a sudden scurry in my head
when the voices I have bred
became hushed, which was rather unusual
The spokes-skeleton
passed a colorless wind
voiced their single demand: to remain
"We were made to vanish
to a dark cupboard banished
we demand henceforth to share your domain."
A resounding "No!
You'll stay down below
we're totaling 20, including the yapper
there's hardly space
the din to embrace
and an hour-long queue to the crapper."
"Then the beldam Hubbard
will remain in the cupboard
lore would have it, bare to the bone
the cupboard, that is
not the hag, whose Maltese
diced up raw will be fed to the crone.
We implore you most
kindly engage our host
in negotiations and if necessary plead
we want into his brain
and share your domain
or prepare for a skeleton stampede."
PART 2 TO FOLLOW. THIS MIGHT TAKE A WHILE, AS I'M LOCKED IN HOSTILE NEGOTIATIONS
HAIKU #1-14 (Taken from my files totaling 12,016 haiku, started in 2/9/06)
Ants red as wine A black spider seem to own
dine on yellow nectar squatter's rights right on
from a juicy mango. our front porch.
Day of rain and A quiet gentle breeze brought
zero visibility, then thoughts of Belize and
pastel evening sky. New York's Hudson.
Morning draped in silk Drenched from his walk
of white as we await snow a lone man sat basking on
and sleet and cold rain. bench in sudden sunshine.
In dreariness of winter Driving home by night
my philodendron buds stands I fled the signal of a white
erect and frozen. hand hitchhiking.
Earth held in traction In temp of one hundred
by glistening silver moon a black bird basked
full like a balloon. in my shadow.
Blond rabbit pregnant In dark of night
with ***** often visit and With full moon bright
side with the husband military copters all in a row.
A spider sleeps all day In early morn my pen
then wake up and work poised like stillness of
at post twilight time. trees awaiting breeze.
Thirty-two appendages is what I count.
Toes and fingers totaling twenty.
Lower and upper legs and arms equal eight.
Hands and feet rounded to four.
Is that what you count?
Is that what you found?
Or did you count
appendages more?
Glenn Turner and Randall "Randy" Thompson were the best police officer and volunteer firefighter in all of Cobb County, Georgia, until March 1995 (WWF Monday Night Raw and WWF Wrestle-Mania XI) and January 2001 (Raw Is War, WWF SmackDown!, and the WWF Royal Rumble) when their lives were taken away from their loving families by Julia Lynn Womack: aka the "Black Poisoning Widow." It seems that it was these two guys in uniform who married the same woman, especially when she was after their money, totaling hundreds and thousands of dollars, even in life insurance. Glenn and Randy have been killed by a deadly liquid by the form of Etheline Glycol rich antifreeze; Lynn Turner used it to spike that of lime-flavored gelatin (green Jell-O), sweet iced tea, and chicken noodle soup. Now, how cold-blooded was that? But to be honest, Maurice G. Turner and Randy Thompson, God rest their souls, really never should've met this gold digging assassin named Julia Lynn Womack (who's now dead) to begin with. Their families, their colleagues, and the citizens of Cobb County, Georgia, they still don't understand why the lives of these two men have to end in a tragic manner. They've got a bunch of whole lives ahead of them. But now that Lynn Turner, who killed both her police officer husband and her firefighter boyfriend, is dead, she can't hurt anyone else ever again. Randall and Glenn are no longer with their friends and families (including their moms), but their spirits will live on forever and they'll see their loved ones in heaven one day. And as for Julia Lynn Womack-Turner, she got what was coming to her and may she burn in the giant pit of inferno for all eternity.
Every earlobe ever pierced, minus non-pierced lobes, without exception
Quantified by head size, quality of piercings, and variety of earrings worn
Under ultraviolet light, utilizing reflective space, sound waves and distance
At appropriate intervals, measuring cut, clarity, carat, color and character
Totaling to a six figure sum, then divided by US bonds withdrawn from IRA
Increase the risk of screaming in agony, up to, but not more, than 50 decibels
On an operatic stage, bursting glass objects, as per fat lady singing, wherein
Numerical miscalculations of damage, therein, must be subtracted from the
Sum, so that all of said variables will not exceed the confusion of the bystander.
Written on 3/9/2016
We were driving along a backroad
It was 4 am on January 22, 2014
Where snow had been drifting down
Without any attempt at playing,
I felt my tires tease me with a challenge
A slide toward the right side of the road
That slide was the good slide that was mirrored by
The second slide toward the left side of the road
Where the car was defenseless against a cliff
Where we road over and over and over
Flipping again and again, Totaling every part of the Subaru so that
We would never ride in this particular car again.
And, yes, this was a near death experience and when
I got out of the car and stood on the trampled snow
I raised my head to the sky and said Thank You God
In His Mercy, we were provided safety and security
In His Mercy, we were blessed with another day
In His Mercy, We discovered even more blessings!!
This poem is written in the form of a Sijo. A Sijo is traditionally composed in three lines of 14-16 syllables each, totaling between 44-46 syllables. In a Sijo, the poem is either thematic or narrative
Line 1 introduces a situation or problem
Line 2 provides a conclusion, which usually begins with a surprise
Line 3 resolves the problem or releases the tension by providing a memorable ending.
********************************
This poem has a total of 45 syllables.
Line 1 consists of 14 syllables
Line 2 consists of 16 syllables
Line 3 consists of 15 syllables
**Obsession**
His smitten intuition, disturbed by every suspicion,
Like an addiction, fueled aggression, he craved her affection,
What started as just muffled cries, ended in a fatal night.
Written by
Rashana King
@2Twenty0
CharlaXTitles
CADD
CharlaXAgainstDrunkDrivers
Puke all over the seat and get some on your dogs head
and a little on the wife’s purse get her good
and Madd at yew so she will take the car keys
and drop them in the piranha pool to keep
the control of the car away from yew.
DO not ever try to drive the car like that again.
Be my friend let the motor idle when the belly
has an idol in the center of your disgusting
fatness leave the driving to the women
or call the rental. Drinking is a disease
of the mind heart liver central being alcoholic yew.
It is now not only whiskey but people drugging
swagging smoking of the left handed Turkish variety
just puffing passing smoking inhaling
like a Clinton Will. Stronger measures now aer
needed to stop the added danger of a high
mucky muck brown frame toker from totaling
the soccer van of Mother. There is station wagons
on the road this mourning with whiskey bumps
all over them the women drivers not exempt
from hitting poles and other cars
and then my friend there is the LAW of Johnny
combined to probable cause. When the police man shines
his light inside the car and sees at least thirteen
empty beer bottles laying in the back seat empty
he has a right to ask ewe iff ewe aer recycling them
or drinking. A road test complete with breathalyzer
please make them touch the nose
never mind the sneezes please.
Sugar is so sweet!
Pale light shines through the liquid
Sweet as it can be!
Transcription of messages here we go
All that we can see and all that we know
Gazing at objects all both near and far
Comets, planets, all orbiting a star
Answers, questions, and all that we can say
Totaling quite a huge number today
Can we?, Can’t we?, it remains to be seen
Gone past and future, and all in between
Granite, marble, hard things are all around
Coins, silver, copper, if they can be found
Talking, yelling, to say it all out loud
Ascending up from the ground to the cloud
Adding, subtracting, what’s the total here?
Tallying all that we both love and fear
Girls and boys, men and women, young and old
Can they behave? Can they do what they’re told
Co-inhabiting, poverty and wealth
Growing in illness, as well as in health
Tempest, all the works by William Shakespeare
All’s well that ends well; I think we’ll stop here
Sugar is so sweet!
Pale light shines through the liquid
Sweet as it can be!
The building blocks of all living matter
church camp
while shopping with their mother on “good friday”
the kid got caught shoplifting &
after being dragged into the secret room with the plain-clothed cop &
after totaling up what had been stolen &
after the whole pretending-to-cry-buckets episode
failed to succeed in gaining any kind of leniency on behalf of the embarrassed &
fuming mad christian mother,
the two left the store with a new order arising---
the child in question was to be grounded,
was to be swatted like a fly who’d taken too long to run off with that itty bitty piece of
fruit,
was to have their hair cut &
was to be twisted & shaped in a last attempt to make them a
good christian soldier---
so off to church camp they went that summer
on the tail end of the grounding stint
which on top of accomplishing nothing
only drove that wonderful nail of disbelief deep into the face of
that fictional character who
didn’t die for anyone’s “sins”
who didn’t get “resurrected” &
who didn’t fly on up to “heaven”
so that he could “come back to judge the living & the dead”---
no, this child’s punishment did the exact opposite of
what was supposed to be accomplished,
for church camp
(an isolated cult compound buried out in the middle of the ****ing woods)
was full of kids who’d been sentenced by their parents
for lack of any better attempt at discipline &
once the parents were gone,
kids were kids, just as they had been before,
regardless of the few truly brainwashed zombies who stumbled around all day
with their “holy book” in hand,
pretending that their hormones weren’t driving them insane,
while the others who had smuggled in some pot, condoms &
liquor,
did their best to keep those comforts of home life relevant
amidst the insanity of what spun round their heads for a week
like a gnat just asking to be
obliterated against a wall
with the palm of a hand growing ever more angry
as time went by.
To light - enlight.
Be wise, don't lie.
Forgive, be sure.
In life - be pure.
To blame - you must have proves.
To judge - you wear his shoes.
When love - you love the soul.
Forgave? - don't claim at all.
No luck in search? - treasure what you've got.
If you didn't reach - hold to current spot.
If you have a friend? - stay with him in need.
Enemy in sight? - forgive, move on, be wise.
Lost your peaceful nerve? - never burn the bridge.
Know furure days? - carefully play.
If you stopped to dream? - flounder like rock.
Totaling the line? - remove the worst from map.
Promises are made? - no turning back.
If you made mistake? - responsible for that.
See the spark in eyes? - respond, don't run or hide.
Somebody said you thanks? - accept and don't forget.
Somebody gave you light? - be grateful, bear the shine.
Somebody gave you grief? - calm down and don't cry.
If you're in a fight? - don't run, stay strong and bite.
If your Will broke up? - take breath but don't give up.
If believe in God? - still don't forget to act.
Something want to change? - first you change yourself.
Everyone can choose the road for themselves.
Choose the path for sure, and in Life be pure.
Rags To Threadbare Tatters...
(a true “FAKE” story
how Mein Kampf - chill as hoary
frost – and totaling lacking glory.)
A woeful disgraceful
cautionary tale stitched
from the barest thread
harkens back half life
of yours truly
comprising a few decades
in the pluperfect past,
when this husband newlywed
living hand to mouth,
when thy wife and me
occupied mine boyhood abode
sharing one kid size bed,
though dwelling under
same roof as parents,
this "pariah" did dread,
cuz prior to getting married
most every day
found me loathing mandates,
yet never fled
duet hoo bing
cowardly, yours truly
blithely endured pa
rant till fulminations,
and litany of"hateful"
broadsides at my head
minor misfortune, sans scant
details barely one
measly paragraph
tenuously stretched,
thus (with all manner
of dogspeed, I fetched
kvetched against restricted
poetic licensed finesse)
to complete
at least one
page (OpenOffice)
word document spread
attempting to convey penury,
but nonetheless I
consider meself
if nothing else
blue tiff lee well red
irrelevant to stand in good stead,
and pertaining to
profession of thespian,
never found me professionally
acting out a scene
neither did I glean,
nor memorized
scripts, thy counter
with applying literary mien
super tramp ping cheap tricks
to convince skeptical readers
"Quod Erat Demonstrandum"
just show up on opening night
when mine break
out character lean
on words since being "green"
behind ears of corn lean
refulgent klieg lights
will shine a light
asthma pantomime
dramatics mean
business and take
thumb page from playbook
portray me as
superb drag queen
when "lights", "camera,"
and "action" called
debut appearance
with stellar broadcasts
in every magazine!
self proclaimed er calculating polymath
no win tent to kindle,
or spark hay8 full ire rate wrath
juiced whiling away
the early evening hour hath
horror hived this february
twenty second, nah scared to take a bath.
The Process (is a Process All Its Own)
eye up ply applies
to brain storming with zest to whit
barn storming across das plains of google
to pitchfork embers tuff flickr tinder lee
with smart poetic dip pose zit
tool loom hen ate interior darkness
where lurks the monstrous akin to Perdido
otherwise known as perdition,
especially Native American
linkedin as The Buffalo Hunter
pseudonym adopted by Ballard and Sandrine,
The Green Woman, whose Side predicted to win
Pork Pie Hat predicated on FengShui yang and yin
force fields property aligned creates A Special Place
predominantly filled with A Dark Matter
only known (bee you wick), i.e.,The Skylark
and of course Poe's Children, totaling 5 Stories
helpful to down with a chaser
viz - The Little Blue Book Of Rose Stories
Ideally red (red) in The Night Room,
where an unsuspected parvenu
absconded with Lost Boy, Lost Girl
housing Magic Terror, but interestingly
one must ask - Isn't It Romantic?
Via the perspective Looking Back
feigning to be combination of Mr. X, and/or
and Mrs. God innocent looking people
yet, the progenitors of The Hellfire Club
burnt offerings indistinguishable from Blue Rose
fragrance or melancholy Ghosts
resembling trumpeting Floating Dragon
invoking grabbing by The Throat sensation
Where spirits flit to and fro
throughout neighborhood Houses Without Doors
and games without frontiers
this...a millennial Mystery
unlike the generic Ghost Story,
the main anti protagonist and/or
pro antagonist, nonetheless named Koko
who calls The Juniper Tree home
especially eerie Under Venus
provoking Wild Animals
to run berserk at lightspeed
en masse Black Sabbath
bestirs cries and whispers
proto, pseudo psychedelic
quint essence ova thermocouple
holo graphic images hypnotizing vista as Shadowland
explicit formula generating happy interacial Marriages
nah...ha - ah, the joe cuz on ewe
especially, If You Could See Me Now!
Do you have a dream or an ambition
that one day you hope to achieve or do
then I have great news for you
if you turn to God and tell him exactly how you feel
he can take your dreams and ambitions and make them real
our hopes and dreams don't just have to stay in our hearts or in our mind
for it's in God that all our hopes, dreams and ambitions we can find
if you believe it in your heart and know that it's true
God can make all the impossible become possible for you
even if your faith is as small as a seed
God can make all those hopes and dreams succeed
God made all my hopes and dreams come true
and he can also make all the impossible things possible for you.
to all you wonderful poetry soupers everywhere
this great news I just had to share.
my son is going on a D. T. I. ( dream the impossible) trip with his youth group in may
and God made the trip possible How?
well here in UK, with sainsburys if they come late with your shopping they give you a ten
pounds
voucher
off the next shop you do on line, well on Tuesday mine was late so they gave me ten pounds
that evening I spoke with the youth leader about sorting a tent out for my son if I sorted the
finances out for him to go, he said yes sure they will be able to get a tent share
well on Wednesday morning I had a bank credit of sixty pounds, I wasn't due my wages yet
or anything, the money was in my bank it was something to do with a cold weather
payment
so this now totals seventy pounds, the weekend trip is 55 pounds and the bus from church is
additional ten pounds totaling 65 pounds now that's GODS' GRACE thanks to God my son will
be going of on his trip to dream the impossible. Amen.
Good news came my way today February 21, 2021 courtesy late father
Papa - purportedly named
after paternal grandmother
Sadie, her mom's Yiddish name
Basia Brana (or Brandla),
she took two B letters and
found American boys' names
that kind of echoed
her mother's names in letters
and sounds too: Boyce Brandon).
Conversation with eldest sibling
apprised me of entitlement
heading this endeavor with poetic ring,
plus she (same sister) emailed
specifics, a financial life raft
I will devotedly and blessedly cling.
Gratuity his (General Electric)
life insurance policy
totaling $37,063.00
divided three ways
bequeathed to yours truly
and my two non-twisted sisters.
Aforementioned dollar figure
divided three ways equals
12,354.3333333,
which tidy sum
could help me
alleviate outstanding
credit card debt.
Upon acquiring allotted dividend
tattered credit history I will mend
eldest daughter would commend
no rhyme nor reason accrual twist
of fate unfortunately happened
impossible mission to comprehend
how yours truly became deadened
abominable hand to mouth existence
turned scofflaw criminally hardened
not really but makes for good legend.
Figurative dark shadow ameliorate
I must, cuz unpaid charges create
unnecessary uneasiness and emasculate
like invisible fetters tellingly generate
principal abuzz with interest initiate
tingling goosebumps think back,
when Iraq invaded Kuwait.
Whatever portion remains after bank
receives their due, inherited windfall
(lemme please me earnest and frank)
metaphorically teetering on pull lank
lesson learned while marriage doth tank
hence joint account activated between
yours truly and wife crocheting machine
eventually a future blanket methinks green
backs could be pocketed, especially
since legal tender equals slim pickings,
which hoop fully Spartan existence lean
years can be supplanted with obscene
wealth (cryptic words) hinting
play philanthropist so the missus
and her consort can live splendid
like king and queen,
else we may consider enlisting
contraband to acquire
laundered moolah crisp and clean.