Best Tings Poems
Wee Luck McGee, came into the pub
And the Barman started pouring a beer
"No Tanks for me, a martini you see
Is what you'll be serving right here"
Then McGee with one hand, pulled a jar from his coat
Removing the lid with the other
Plucked out the olive, and swilled down the Gin
Then abruptly ordered another
With each martini he knocked back with cheer
An olive was placed in the jar
And when it got filled, He screwed on the lid
Then started to walk from the bar
But the barman called out "What's that about ?"
To McGee with the jar he did cling
"It's me Mrs you know, she told me to go
And get Her a jar of these tings"
Three minuuts is all me’ve got
to fix sense of it, alles not.
Whutis time in tru sens of tings
wen you and mestart to zings
of lifinluv of all that is,
or izunt, in this heady quiz?
Life’ll livun tillit diez
then whutstocomm in the skiez?
Dusto dust is whutis sade
anthen what – where dus dust go?
I dunno and don tinktha you do too.
I'd like to tinktha dust arrize – surprize!
Koment doz not define dedend.
Iznotso ezzy to defend it.
Dustit fliz, in air it blos
to landzen, feilsen, mountens too.
Life beginagin an then enden witit.
Three minuuts to hold dust in my heart.
Yuh come inna mi office
come tek out mi tings
yuh bright!!!!!!!!!!!
Mi nuh undastan yuh!!!!!!!!!!
Mi sey to miself...
"Lawd, mi a go forgive him....see di good side"
but nooooooooooo......
yuh come, nuff up yuhself and TIEF!!!!
Bwoy o bwoy....
ghost know who fi frighten...
clearly me a no one.
Come nuh...step in yah again!!
Me an yuh a go 'ave it out!
Tink seh mi likkle bit an caan mash ants...
wait likkle more...
King Kong piss up himself when me get bringle!!
An den yuh 'ave de audacity fi come laugh inna mi face!
Yuh no know who yuh a deal wid!!??
lata fi yuh...mi have betta tings fi do!
hhmmmmph!
NB: For those who may not understand the language the poem, it is written in
Jamaican Patois.
Form:
I wish ta be happy happy
Not crappy crappy
It's becum easier since becumen a pappy
With a we baby on me lappy
Some tink me silly and a bit sappy
I don't even mind changin his nappy
It's funny da weird tings dat make me happy!
I like ta dress him up
Not wantin him ta be shabby
and reflect badly on his mammy
So on is head I place da cutest cappy
He loves ta laugh, in da breeze dis cappy is flappy
How could I be anythin udder den happy
Me an baby an his sweet little mammy!
For Casarah's get happy 101 contest.
Form:
Bright blue skies on a spring day
Fulfills my horizon
Blue birds and robins pass me by
Mountain, trees, and animals
Priase God Abroad
The frsh air bring forth calmness
A quiet serene a waits my soul
Red orange and violets
Represents God's glory
Flowers slowly rise with the sun
And water crickets sings songs of glory
Fresh water arises with the scent
Of of sweet savory of God's spices
Beach rolls in the lazy tide
I sit back and enjoy it all
The art of spring is glorification
Of all tings God created
He's the world famous artist
He
What a ***** to find time to creep into another woman's bed
or maybe a rat to scurry under my feet for cheese and bread
askin for two shots ina each her toe, knee, chest, and head
Mi na ramp wit dem tings deh fi nobody but my own
My mother told me dat every man will chase fa gold
He'll climb til his youngest grandchild is grey and old
So why be one rat when you can be a Queen
mek him reach fa yu instead of looking cabinets between
Queen had to brush my teeth and wash my face
I had to fluff my pillows and pray for the day
Reminiscing on the bull**** that i just had to lay
Another day on this mutha****in paper chase
As horny as i thought i was i felt my walls pulsing
when i read " till her pussy dry and swollen"
But as i read on... i realized someone was cloning
Remaking the same NIGGA over and again
The life of a rap star. Does that mean you pimp
Does that mean I can ask you questions just like that hoodrat *****
You say you like what you see but you willing to fight yourself
One taste of this Queen melt yo Pimp Heavyweight belt
I told you your style was dope that i hadn't seen one in a while
a while meaning a year, said behind the same sly smile
Maybe that's the b.f you speak of that i'm creeping you with
the one that you reminded me of... with all these hot lyrics
I stay searching for real niggas because they seek me out too
They want a reminder we still exist even across a border or two
my single ass skipped the class on Game but made it to period two
the class on Guns, Poetry, Money, & Family.There were only me and you.
I thought.... Well damn, Any other real niggas but just a few?
Am i the only female left? Does no one have a clue?
That sex is all good from jump and beyond but money got me boo
Even if you aint got the green, ****, help me get on too
or point me in the direction of who to talk to
I'm getting a little Too fresh, it seems, for you
let me switch up my sexxxy back since I only gave you verse two
she's in the whoosh
feel her span through time
it's all relative
across dimensions
and into space
bigger on the inside
smaller to the seeing eye
walk around her
you'll see
but step inside
and the venture begins
she's an old girl
stuck in the form of boxy blue
past her prime yet still as sturdy
she'll dematerialize at will
speeding through rifts
explore her corridors and discover her anew
enter other realms, pasts and futures
she's been at the beginning and to the end of time
her companions many
yet the one who's steady is a mysterious man
one called Dr
but no one knows Who
except her for they've been together through ages
only to get to say hello toward the end
she's a reliable old girl
who's traveled many worlds
she's seen thing and heard tings
you'll know her by the sound of her whoosh
as she comes and goes.
In the Islands day talk like you sing
don't know till ya been dar tiz an Island-ting
take two jig-um-ups tiz coke to fly
gave me shots of rum with coke on the side
smell dim gon-ja blown to day breeze
it be I-ree make day eyes chineese
you'z bee'z lookin like day rasta man
I past out with my face in the sand
I don't know why, I'll let you call it
I woke up 6 hours later without my walllet
so goto day Islands it's fun taz hear dim sings
just don't go do-zin dim wrong Island-tings
by Capt. Mike
ps yaz knows dim crabs bee'z taken yaz wallet Cap-pin Mikes
Yes mon but you stick around and hears another story if yaz likes
Transportation, Mi sey transportation
School transportation, Mi sey transportation.
Transportation of schoolers, We can’t ignore
Parish Council and T.A. open the door
Dem open de door to safe highways
Drivers, come mek mi show you de way.
PLAN NUMBER ONE, yu must put in place
Watch yu speed limit, Or pólice in yu face.
But oonu inna hurry,
An oonu inna haste
Jus a grab plenty dollas
Inna dis ya rat race
Yu no realize sey dat tings no so nice
Protect de schoolers dem,
dem a fi wi special prize.
Transportation, Mi sey transportation
School transportation, Mi sey transportation.
PLAN NUMBER TWO
a telling you is true
Play wid de schoolers and yu corner really blue
Treat de pickeny dem wid plenty respect
Diginity, Courtesy and yu know de rest
All when inna yu face dem push up dem breast.
Responsibility is PLAN NUMBA THREE
Dress to impress an talk mek we see
Yu a one good driver wid nuff control
Drap de pickney dem right a school door
Transportation, Mi sey transportation
School transportation, Mi sey transportation.
Transportation, Mi sey transportation
School transportation, Mi sey transportation.
LISTEN UP IMMA GEEK THAT'S STANDARD/
TELL EM AGAIN MAKE SURE THE MANS HEARD/
NEVER BEEN ONE FOR A QUICK FIX FUMBLE/
RATHER HAVE AN INTELLECTUAL TUMBLE/
SEE SOME GIRLS LIVE TO PUT IT ABOUT/
TO ME THAT AINT WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT/
WHILE YOU GIVE IT UP TO EVERY TOM DICK AND TYRELL/
I KEEP MY EYE ON AN ELEVATED LEVEL/
YES, I HOLD MY OWN ON THIS PLANET/
YOU JUST DONT HAVE IT/
YOU CANT MANAGE/
RAPPIN YOUR GOB BUT I'M A LYRICAL SAVAGE/
LICK YOU DOWN LIKE A FIRST CLASS CARRIAGE/
YES, I ALWAYS IMPRESS/
EVEN WHEN YOU STEP OUT IN YOUR GUCCI DRESS/
WITH YOUR TINGS ON SHOW FOR ALL TO SEE/
I MAKE THE CLOTHES THEY DON'T MAKE ME/
Form:
Life is a lonely forest where you live,
With your soul and sole tattered,
Life and love denied,
All for my sake,
And father, farther you go.
Like pressed above, you never grow taller,
This way, in you go,
Door gets too high and the way too wide,
All for my sake,
Yet the more you love me.
To them your hair is foreign and rags so common,
Though without salt and food, you always gave me full,
I'm words without, withal to witness,
The gentleness of your wonder without which I wither,
You taught me all things, to write and erase.
You're the shadow I shadow,
The heart I material,
I love because you love,
You oriented me to life and gave me the first torch,
Withal to grop in the darkness of life.
Of pretentious popes you warned,
Who would tell me tings obscene in coners sacred,
To take your mantle I do,
Your name to new seas, to focus and fight farther,
Fight an equal fair, with each ear to the event,
All will hear your shadow shaking sheaths,
And feel the texture of the future in my hands,
For your heart and mine is one,
The love for you as you go farther,
But you I take none, none at all.
Please pick me for cushion,
Plant your heart in mine,
I know it was for my sake
All the pain,
I love you.
Poem by Muthoka Jacob, June 2012.
One, two, three
He starts it off
A phalanx of bells starts
Rings from posts on a horse-shoe set of tables
Big heavy dongs from one of the flanks
Little light tings from the other
Medium dings from the middle
Exclusive pings when it happens
Dings like falling glass on impact
Madness orchestrated
Chaotic music with perfect control
A river of tune created
Tee-hee, I'm here again, jus' meef
Wit' dimples shining, chub-chub cheeks
Yous gotsta see my two new teef
(Dough dey be dwibblin' lotsa leaks)
Me hasn't got no udders yet
But dese is purrfect side-by-side
Dey always shiny, white and wet
(And sometimes get my tungy tied)
My bib is stain, dey make me dwizzle
Fwum learnin' how to use 'em wight
And when I talk my essez wizzle
(Toof Fairy brung 'em late one night)
Fer sher can't wait to really use 'em
Cuz mama says dey shine my chin
How I gotsta bite and chew some
Grow more dandies for my gwin
Oh how I wuv dese bwight new tings
And mama wuvs 'em, I can tell
She always waffs and always sings
When I bite daddy ... make him yell!
~ 5th Place ~ in the "Baby Face What's You Thinkin' 2" Poetry Contest, James Edward Lee, Sr, Judge & Sponsor.
(I used photograph number three)
Patches of silv'ry dew on young green grass
Catch me smiling back as I do pass;
Catch me, too, do leafy tweets I hear---
Little tings of May that treat my ear.
Day has come up perfect, winds are mild;
Scattered clouds like puffballs pop on by.
Sunlight glances 'round---a wond'ring child---
Fondling swinging wires that wrap the sky.
Drivers start their engines, pick up speed,
Now the street is live with Steel's deed!
Laughing, I exult to stop right here,
Writing down the "ups" that are so dear.
______________________________________
The "tings" of line 4 is not a typo.
Beat quick This rhymes so sick, its needing nursing
Flow tight off the bat there’s no rehearsing
Challenge me to a battle? bruv I’m the first in,
U shook, I see u rattle from just one verse in
Keep the day job, and tighten up ur purse strings
If there’s cash to be won, it won’t be your wins!
When I leave here I’m taking one of ur tings,
Take her the full 12 rounds until the bell rings
Unless she can’t hold out and throws the towel in
And Ill move on to that friend she brings
U watch us leave and u just left imagining
Of who what why and what might’ve been
U wish the only time u spit is when ur battling
Choke on stage cant stop urself remembering
Nervous holding back instead of diving in
Going down wasting time, start babbling
U choked then too instead of swallowing
Never leading, on a lead always following
U paid in full but boy are u still owing
Think ur a big man ting but u still growing
Pay attention to this lesson that I’m showing
U better swallow it next time u poke ur nose in.