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Vogon Poetry

Vogon Poetry is horrendously bad poetry written and recited by Vogons, who are a fictional alien race from the planet Vogsphere in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Let's reiterate, that it is really, really bad poetry. Vogon poetry is widely accepted and known as "the third-worst in the Universe." 

Stylistically it is loosely comparable to nonsense verse, and may bring to mind another famous poem, Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky."  

Vogon Poetry Origins

Vogon poetry was invented by writer Douglas Adams in his science-fiction fantasy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy. Known first and foremost for their bureaucratic unpleasantness, Vogons are fictional aliens who come from the planet Vogsphere to tear down the Earth to build an intergalactic highway express route in its place. 

In different iterations of The Hitchhiker's Guide, from Douglas Adams's BBC radio series to a Hitchhiker's Guide interactive fiction game which was later made by Infocom, several different examples of Vogon poetry can be found. One poem's reading is said, in Adams's imagined universe, to have been so bad that it killed four audience members from internal bleeding when it was read.

An Example of Vogon Poetry

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning)
As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!

Related Information

More Vogon Poetry Links

Book: Shattered Sighs