Best Thrifty Poems
"I LIKE NONSENSE, IT WAKES UP THE BRAIN CELLS!"
a quote from dear Dr. Suess......
Dr. Suess and his Shoe Store
LISTEN, LISTEN! I have BIG NEWS
Dr. Suess has a store just full of SHOES..
A GAZILLION shoes I'm sure there must be
Line them all up, bet they'd stretch to the sea!
Small shoes and tall shoes and some with spots
He even has one covered with pink polka dots..
...... Lots of Dots....
Round shoes and square shoes and OH MY
Even lots of cool shoes you don't have to tie!
A snake came in cause he was going to school
And wearing shoes at school is a VERY strict rule..
Now where could a snake wear a shoe you ask?
Well he wore the darn thing like a Halloween mask..
You can buy just one pair if your feeling thrifty
But poor old centipede - he had to buy fifty
He first bought 25 pair, all were bright yellow
Then 25 orange...now he's quite a colorful fellow!
A kangaroo complained that his feet were sore
So extremely sore he could not hop any more
They fixed him up with a spring loaded pair
Now he can happily hop from here to there!
So if a GRANDUFULOUS sight your longing to see
Dr. Suess is waiting at the corner of 7th and G
With shoes for the young and shoes for the old
HURRY! HURRY! before the purple ones get sold!
This is an old poem of mine that I reworked a bit....
In dress, mortician's finery
pure ebony entire,
eshewing tints of purity,
He dropped in by my fire.
It was His island after all;
his chapel ceiling, trees
I see what little I possess
and He
Possesses what He sees.
The trickster of the Inuit
this feathered deity,
I thought He wished to share the Pike
His lake gave up to me.
But thrifty with His speech He was,
As Gods are want to be,
He came around to share my meal
That's all
the time He had for me!
* A Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech
in which the latter part of a sentence or
phrase is a surprise or unexpected.
(I didn’t make these up. I tried to make
them rhyme for your enjoyment. Sorry
if it didn’t work!). Here goes —
You don’t need a parachute to skydive,
which is really very nice!
But, there again, you do need one,
if you plan to do it twice!
Always borrow money from a pessimist.
That’s a well known fact!
Cause if you borrow from a pessimist,
he won’t expect it back!
If I agreed with you,
it sure wouldn’t take too long,
for everyone to realize,
that both of us were wrong!
I’ve had problems all my life,
but, have been able to endure!
Once I was indecisive,
but, now I’m not so sure!
If you think I’ve enjoyed your company,
I really must admit,
I’ve had a wonderful evening!
Unfortunately, this wasn’t it!
Behind every great man there’s a woman!
Which is really no surprise.
Behind every great man there’s a woman!
Standing there, rolling her eyes!
Going to church don’t make you a Christian,
no matter who you are!
Just like standing in a garage,
isn’t gonna make you a car!
Last thing I want to do is hurt you,
that, I must insist!
Although, at this point in time,
it still is on my list!
Let me die peacefully in my sleep,
like Grandpa, is my greatest hope by far!
Not screaming, yelling, and crying,
like the passengers in his car!
I didn’t say it was your fault!
That I would never do!
All that I was saying is,
that I was blaming you!
For President, Americans choose from two.
Which is really kinda thrifty!
On the other hand, for Miss America,
they get to choose from fifty!
Knowledge - knowing a tomato’s a fruit!
A fact that’s very valid.
Wisdom - knowing you should never,
put the tomato in a fruit salad!
Born Doris, named for our grandmother Doris Owens,
she is nothing much like grandma.
If anything, I am more like grandma
for my thrifty ways and down-to-earth practicality.
Doris, nicnamed Dorie, how we tease her when we hear
her name like the name of the spaced-out fish on “Finding Nemo.”
Dorie, who we teased as a child because she always dawdled,
always losing track of time; we never could guess why!
In that way, she never was like me, but was more like Dory
from “Finding Nemo.”
Dorie, who like me, is long-nosed and full-bosomed
and of all my sisters, has the most in common with myself.
Dorie, who got confused for me, particularly by our grandma,
the woman after whom Dorie had been named!
Dorie, who got to be the cheerleader I failed to be
but who majored in my field and never got to work as a teacher.
Instead she works today in a place for special needs adults,
working many hours now that she is divorced.
Dedicated, hard-working, studious and conscientious -
in those ways Dorie is the most like me
of all my other sisters.
Who else but Dorie would write me back 40 to 50-page letters
back in the day when all we had was snail mail!
My letters to Dorie I copied off each month as a record
of my hectic life when I was young in college and
also when I was dealing with my new role as a mother.
Dorie, my writing soul mate sister, who probably
does not write much any more and I doubt that she writes poetry!
She is busy working up to 60 hours a week!
But when she writes, her emails are long and detailed
just like mine.
Dorie, in whom I gradually saw differences from me.
More emotional, more hormonal, more maternal -
this is Dorie. More religious and in politics,
the opposite of me.
Despite all that, we love to chat.
We laugh and laugh, as I do with all my other sisters.
Dorie, who like our youngest sister Theadora,
shares with me a fascination for things such as nutrition,
all three of us sharing with each other our recipes
fitness hints, and special ways to boost metabolism!
Dorie, the sister who Mom says "leapt with joy"
inside our mother’s womb right before Mom went into labor
just for hearing the voice of me, her oldest sister.
I love all my sisters equally, but for many reasons,
Dorie is the sister most like me!
March 6, 2019 for the "What's In a Name" Contest of Kim Rodrigues
As every meeting ends in a goodbye, a shopping trip always ends in a good buy. That's life. But the sales are over and I hope this time to avoid a buyer’s fate.
Oh, how I like thin collarbones of empty hangers, touched to death lonely blue dress, a cash register, still warm of residual heat and a young sales consultant, too beautiful for this world.
She's tired, she can't wait to go home, but professional curiosity gets the better of her.
- How can I help you?
That simple question always gives me the creeps. What does she mean? How can she help me? Can she help me, say, relieve sexual tension? solve Riemann hypothesis? understand the meaning of life? But what if she really can? Shuddering with sweet horror, I feel in the shining perspectives of her question the presence of an unknown, but such a mind-blowing meaning that, if I could understand it, it would cross out the meaning of the existence of myself.
She looks at her wristwatch and I cowardly give up:
- A pair of shoes, please.
- Fine, I recommend this one. Please note on material: it's vantablack, the blackest substance in the world. They make of it men's shoes, black holes and hearts of the sales consultants like me.
two shoes for the price of one -
a thrifty buyer
will not miss his benefits
My memory is obsolete in fashion:
the short blue skirt I saw you in that day
is out of date eons ago. My passion
has cicatrized from when you went away,
but thrifty memory still stores your grey
T-shirt with spots of oil paint, your beret
of modern artist that you used to wear
coquettishly aslant, the bag across
your chest, the thuya needle in your hair,
the band-aid on your knee, the minty gloss
on your sweet cherry lips, the silky moss
under your pliant back, the sassy moth
around my stupid head, the distant laughter,
the flash of bliss, the willow’s leaf embossed
on your left buttock and the most sought after
remembrance of the panties that you lost
in ferns in haste… One day I will exhaust
my recollections but at any cost
I save this one, unclouded and precise,
as my permission to the paradise.
22.04.2019
Urban Sonnet Poetry Contest
Emile Pinet
While the wind blew swiftly.
The bird flew thrifty.
Flapping its wings.
Faster and harder.
Against the wind.
The bird flew like it was blind.
Swirling all around the skyline.
All at once the wind calmed down.
The bird came through town.
Soaring its wings.
As it roared right past me.
To find rest upon a clothes line.
I am told that Time
are increments...the
happy man counts
his by kisses – a family
hour, a dream for the
thrifty~ wise, a short REM
seeming somehow linked
to greater eternity –
I am told that Time
is precious – or burden
to those without Power,
to those hungry –
alone as empty and sad
Time with God I've never
found wasted...
Though I've managed
good use of all these
Time away from you
has always been, pure hell....
There once was a man named Art
Who was thrifty and shopped at WalMart
He was happy with life
As he rode on his bike
Till the bearings fell apart ...
By: Kyle Ezra Kriticos
When I was 20, I met men a plenty
And I made a match with as many
As I could
And all the while my face split
With snotty trails of my travails
When I was 30, I quite dirty
Ran down the aisle in pure white
Trying to fight
Off the smile that threatened
To overtake my rationality
With love leaking down my cheeks
When I was 40, I a shepherd to shorty
They gathered round for my stories
Wished them more gory
I scolded them into corners
Of the room and my heart
Face contorted with discipline
When I was 50, being thrifty
Paid off for me and mine
Why I went on vacation
And they to college
And he to another's arms
My face knew not which way to go
When I was 60, I was gifted
With second motherhood
Twice removed of my duties
My face relit with joy and the
chance to spoil them
Now I am 80, I think
And from many memories I still drink
For I would much rather have
My visage cracked from wisdom and laughter
Than be dampened with rivers of regret
--------------
Title is inspired by a Beatles song. I was thinking about it and the last verse came to
mind after a discussion with a friend about regret.
LISTEN, LISTEN! I have BIG NEWS
Dr Suess has a store just full of SHOES..
A GAZILLION shoes I'm sure there must be
Line them all up, bet they'd stretch to the sea!
Small shoes and tall shoes and some with spots
He even has one covered with pink polka dots..
...... Lots of Dots....
Round shoes and square shoes and OH MY
Even lots of cool shoes you don't have to tie
A snake came in cause he was going to school
And wearing shoes at school is a VERY strict rule..
Now where could a snake wear a shoe you ask?
Well he wore the darn thing like a Halloween mask..
You can buy just one pair if your feeling thrifty
But poor old centipede - he had to buy fifty
He first bought 25 pair that were bright yellow
Then 25 orange,now he's quite a colorful fellow
A kangaroo complained that his feet were sore
So extremely sore he could barely hop any more
We fixed him up with a spring loaded pair
Now he can happily hop from here to there
So if a GRANDUFULOUS sight your longing to see
Dr Sues is waiting at the corner of 7th and G
With shoes for the young and shoes for the old
HURRY, HURRY, before the purple ones are sold..
...OH NO!..
This old farmhouse kitchen
could tell its thrifty tales
of hard times, making do,
making bread from nothing –
snatching life out of air…
Snatching life out of air,
she turns wheat and water
to ferment by the stove,
and molds it with her hands
into tart, golden loaves.
Thirty thrifty thieves furtively foraged through their filthy things finding fifty thin forks
though the thieves find of fine thin frilly forks thriftily foraged failed to thrill
Thlipping Dithicult said the first
whos swolen tongue he nursed
The second thought it a trifle tricky
this can't be read as a quicky
Contest : Big Kid Tongue Twister Challenge
I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper
while my itchy nose sneezed more than three times;
why were they hidden from thrifty mother?
Weren't they less valued than silver dimes?
While my itchy nose sneezed more than three times,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
she was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair.
Mom woke to scold me for my loud laughter,
I tripped on the slipper, falling flat as a bear,
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair.
She was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair...
I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper.
Hey! Look at this… It’s a ‘Dragon Spy’, we have lurking about.
Truly I must say, 007 has nothing on our 003 & one half.
Yep! A secret agent is lurking inside, Dragon, at our house.
He’s in a tuxedo, handsome to a tee, and those buttons sure can fly.
He working to learn, the art of standing still, with that wily smile.
And his charm…Well, he’ll be working, a little, on that, too, for a while.
He loves his secret weapons, a puff of smoke, and flames for combat.
But if you love Gorilla glue… His penguin glue is better than that.
A sticky wicket has new meaning, for never do wells, at this house.
His penguins say it’s the spit that binds them, even at 50 below, no doubt!
He doesn’t need a torpedo, he’s rather good, on his own, at being that.
He doesn’t need an Austin Martin, a jet pack, or his own landing pad.
He’s Economical, and thrifty. Actually free… No one can beat that!
His drink ‘chocolate milk,’ is stirred, not shaken, in a Dragon mug, so swell.
He says don’t bruise the ice, but on a fire breathing Dragon who can tell?
The black cape gives him a sophisticated, secret spy, sort of a flair.
Well, it would… at least… if it wasn’t always caught in every silly door.
Yep, there’s nothing like a Dragon… to bring adventure to your shore!
He works for the NSE ‘Not Silly Enough’ instead of he NSA.
The NSE is excited to see what secrets he can dig up and write about.
His cover is as a writer, you see: Just like ME, his Mama! I’m so VERY proud!
They say, even hero’s and spies need a job, within which their identity to hide.
And his secret identity gives him great ideas with which to begin to write.
Though the thought: The NSA, is convinced that he, is one of their very own?
Unbelieveable! Who would have ever known?
And, yes, even his penguins, too… I’ve been told.
Written by Carol Eastman 4-28-2017