Best Taxes Poems
Now that I'm dead I can finally relax,
worry free of April 15th and filing my income tax.
3-22-17
Every year when taxes are due, I pay mine to the full,
Even though some other people call it a bunch of bull.
Some don't pay their taxes for there is an aberration.
As time goes by they holler, "Statute of Limitation".
They live in a life of luxury, these entitled few,
Expecting us to pay their way, since that is what we do.
The Statute of Limitation gives them a lucky break.
Never feeling that they owe, they just take, and take, and take.
And though the law may state, 'This tax is no longer in play',
An honest person loves this Land, and pays it anyway.
(And this applies to Everyone)
get a job
get a wife
and a cheap PC
things
to survive postmodern strife
living in a world after LSD
the world so deranged
I've come to get my diagnosis
so they can capitalize on my illnesss
and all the things I'd rather be
in this state slavery's cheep
a world so deranged
how dose it sleep
where's my money Mr. tax man
the idiot king is fat
and his teeth are black
so let his cream of Texas float
and darken all the oceans
so I can drive to work
It seems you are not taxed enough
But the government knows what to do
and even though the times are tough
The state needs revenue.
We'll bring to law, a knowledge tax
On each concept that you grasp
And then put forth an oxygen tax
For every breath you gasp
I envision a lucrative walking tax
From jaunt to slow meander
I see a tax on every scent
from garbage to fresh oleander
A blinking tax would open your eyes
and surely allow you to see
That people love paying taxes
Except for taxes on tea.
The mickey mouse instructions were many,
Trying to figure tax to the penny.
From the very beginning,
My clueless head was spinning.
'Twas as readable as Kazakstani!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax!" Albert Einstein
Entry for John Freeman's "Famous Einstein Quotes" Contest
[Entry in Poetry Contest sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire 2-2-11]
Got a letter in the mail today
Right from the good old U S of A
I opened it quick
With my pogo stick
While wondering what it would say.
A citizen too often relaxes,
So much he forgets to pay taxes.
So pony up today,
Don’t blow this away,
Or we will hound you with dunning faxes.
With IRS and their undue threat,
They have placed their bet on a roulette.
I’ll acquiesce
When they confess
Otherwise they can sit there and fret!
We dread this time of the year
We are absolutely sure
When we file our taxes
Sam will surely wax us
Greed of Uncle Sam is clear
Stopping off from work to drink a beer
Not an option is totally clear
Senators' raises
Citizens' gazes
So much as a beer can’t buy this year
Economy in quite a mess
Intellectuals must confess
We’re slowly slipping
Mortgages flipping
Armageddon is the conquest!
For and in honor of Carolyn Devonshire
And Contest
Our congress just loves to lament,
about waste when taxes are spent,
but say it ain't healthy
to tax raise the wealthy
so they tax those that can't pay rent.
Roads and the schools need maintaining,
from taxes I'm not abstaining,
while the poor live on beans
its the ones with the means
that are doing the complaining.
I choose a career that won't pass,
just anywhere near upper class,
but I'll make my dollar
with sweaty blue collar
The wealthy can all kiss my ass.
Many returns are sent by faxes
Declaring our earnings for taxes
When they don't work it out
Please give me a shout
Next time I'll send them some laxatives
After taxes, our money's all spent.
We can't save for our own retirement.
I've got a big axe
to grind! Income tax
isn't paid by our own president!
There once was a gullible taxman
Who dated a rich lady named Ann
When the taxes were due
She declared I love you
Why don't we take a trip to Milan
AP: Honorable Mention 2021
No one relaxes
Before paying taxes
In Kenya, they are called value-added taxes, “yani VAT”.
They change and increase every year
And are placed on everything under the sun.
The prices increase daily,
But they say it would lead to everyone paying their fair share of tax.
They are better referred to as poverty taxes,
Because they punish the poor to become the poorest,
They entrench selfishness among the neighbours and friends,
They take away the only saving of the poor in the society,
and one wonders why the poor remain the poorest.
The tax takes the homes,
The mortgages become unaffordable,
The rent skyrockets in Nairobi, Kisumu and Mombasa,
While the gas prices become unbearable.
The cars and bus rides become a luxury,
and our lunches are taken from our mouths.
The tax man is always on the door,
You wonder if you are under some emergency evacuation.
Taxman takes every percentage of your hospital bill,
Or school fee, or your child’s pocket money, or church tithe offerings,
Until there is nothing positive to take away.
Worst of it, the bills and penalties are always in your postal mail.
The services offered at government offices are poor.
The civil servants are rude to the core like vampires.
The infrastructure development is wanting,
The electricity blackouts in rural areas are frequent,
Education facilities not well equipped,
Health facilities are rotting from inadequate funding,
and any innovation is suspiciously viewed as a threat.
The tax man never explains where is the tax,
Nor what development activities were completed.
The poor’s voice can’t be heard yet everything is taxed.
The poor continue to be taxed to poverty,
While the tax man feeds the corrupt all the taxes.
I filled out my taxes today.
The IRS said you must pay!
Since you're still in jail.
Then get out on bail.
Paying's much better that way!
.
I told them just where they could shove it.
They didn't like that not one bit.
The sun doesn't shine.
In that place sublime.
It's right in the place where they sit!
*For Carolyn Devonshires contest "Taxing Times"