Best Tampons Poems
Underneath it all…
No, not clothe-less—not naked…
Skinless…we’re traveling DEEP within…
Imagine your skull cut…split right in the middle,
Opening up to reveal your AMAZING brain,
As the rest of your body unfolds…
The fancy clothes…the hair…the young or old,
Bones exposed…organs revealed…
The pupils of your eyes growing and receding,
As you look upon yourself…
You don’t know him or her yet…
The blood is spilling freely and you welcome the sensation that you are now experiencing
The heart is rapidly THUMPING from the sudden exposure
Your lungs feel the air on top of it,
The air that it works with every day—suddenly, it is foreign to it…
Teeth chattering, it is raining now…
The water is COLD as hell on Mt. Everest
Mt. Everest is bare…snow-less, compared to your cold, exposed body…
And no oxygen is needed to survive…
The reveling waves of your mind are forming all of these feelings…
You stand there,
Without a blink or blemish,
Staring at you…
There is no thought that you cannot decipher in those inner features…
Your brain is projecting a film in the clouds above you,
As your skull and skinless neck turn upwards toward the heavens!
The fat of your present has melted into the ice…
The guts are not needed for this ride…
No glasses needed either,
No jewelry…no tampons…no knives or guns…
Your eyes only glue themselves subconsciously towards the awe-full projection before you…
Now…NOW you are being introduced to yourself!
Your defensive Alzheimer’s disease is giving you a rest…
You are faced with the pictures of your PAST…
The ugliness…the PAIN—
The excruciating TRUTH that your memory withholds from the rest of the world…
Some even know your secrets…
But they can’t feel it the way YOU feel it—they never will…
The happiness…the comfort…the BEAUTY…
You see it all unfold in a movie,
Sound effects reverberating all around you,
The organs twitching—almost, with a mind of their own, embarrassed…
Categories:
tampons, adventure, allegory, angst, confusion,
Form:
Free verse
A woman is strong.
She is loving and wise.
She endures,
She moves hearts,
She laughs and she cries.
She nurtures,
She commends,
She supports and she mends.
All for the sake of her children and friends.
A woman does all this,
And yet,
She suffers the dreaded menstruation.
In modern countries,
She can go to the store and buy things like tampons,
Tampons and pads.
Then she'll be on her way.
She'll be on with her life,
Being a mother, a worker, and a friend.
But in developing countries,
What does she get?
She must stay at home,
Struggling with the bloodstained fabrics and floors,
That look like an accident that had happened during her chores.
She must keep bringing water, to and fro,
She must push on, but even still,
She is struggling.
She can't enter the places of worship,
She is seen as dirty and unclean,
For a natural process that she can't control.
She is sent out into huts,
Small and windowless.
She is sent there with her children,
Because of the blood that shows she is fertile.
A woman is strong and powerful.
She endures hardships greater than some.
She endures sexism and racist remarks,
She endures life and corrupt society,
She endures every day with heavy anxiety.
Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen,
For her endurance,
For her compassion,
For her loving beam.
A woman is strong,
In ways that cannot be seen,
But must be heard, felt, and remembered.
Categories:
tampons, deep, endurance, for her,
Form:
Lyric
Conversations in third person, shaking legs, hands, feet, and fingers.
Diabetes, fish, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, lupus, cancer, AIDS, Chucky,
sticks, trains, sunglasses, tampons, menopause, pregnancy, threats, crippleness,
the end of the world, all of this masked through a nightmarish confusion.
Chemical sprays sprays smelling like cinnamon and perfumes erasing daily
memories, burning nostrils, concealment, witches, aliens, demons, and monsters in
agreement.
All folklore and imaginary fantasy. What a mental conclusion. One awakens to find
that it's just an illusion.
Categories:
tampons, imagination
Form:
If I were a guy…I’d…
Go on a hunt
Learn to punt
Fix my own brakes
Eat rare steaks
Sport long johns
Stomp on tampons
Start bar fights
Ignore red lights
Swing a big axe
Stare at huge racks
Pack a huge luger
Nail a rich cougar!
*For Frank's Contest
Categories:
tampons, satire,
Form:
Rhyme
A Vampire by the name of Lee
Wanted to make himself some tea.
He searched far and wide,
He hoped he would find inside,
Two used tampons or three…
Categories:
tampons, funny,
Form:
Limerick
If I were a guy
I’d actually enjoy wearing a suit and tie,
I wouldn’t feel uneasy about walking down a late night city street
And high heels would become obsolete,
I’d sleep an extra hour every day, never worrying about running late
For id have no more makeup and hair to prepare when I had to wake
I’d be pleasant four weeks out of the month instead of just two
With No more cramps and mood swings to attend too
Id saves money on tampons, Midol and all the many types of underwear
It would be lovely to take off my shirt on a beach and have no one care
I’d adore my mate, basically worship her, while being extremely nice
For I no longer would have to worry about births physical price
If I gained a few pounds I sure wouldn’t mind
Plenty of overweight men have women who are mighty fine
Statistically speaking I’d have a better chance at making more money
Even if I was an egotistically dummy
I would get to stand up when I pee
This would come in handy constantly!
No more worrying about a lack of tissues or dirty toilet seats,
I’d give my Sergeant a little shake with no concerns about a leak
Let’s not forget all the hours spent on shaving
That would be another time consuming cost in which id be saving
My friends would not complain wine and gossip constantly
If a fight broke out id forgive them and we would all just let it be
Going camping and fishing would be easier for grooming would be so simple
I wouldn’t freak out if I had a sudden pimple
Plastic surgery would not be a thought that ever ran through my mind
For the older a man gets the sexier and more refined
Wrinkles and gray hair makes him look sophisticated
Women see these features and become completely jaded
I'd rarely have to be bothered with perverts at any store,
The simplicity of my beautiful life I would be thankful for.
P.S However, I Love being a woman...
Categories:
tampons, funny, life, hair,
Form:
Couplet
This world for some is so tough,
We keep spending money on useless stuff,
When there's kids out there dying,
Crying in poverty in need of surviving.
We keep buying to impress,
Trying to look good in that new dress,
But a woman far away is really in need,
She's had no new clothes since 1993.
Her clothes are dirty tattered rags,
When you're there buying new bags,
Think of her in the ripped clothes,
Don't tell me you know the pain she knows.
It's cold she has no place to stay,
When you're planning your next holiday away,
Go somewhere beautiful and warm,
When she's wishing she could find a home for her baby who's about to be born.
She's scared she has nothing to eat,
When you're planning your next meal to defeat,
She scrapes through bins to find a crumb,
And the whole time your pretending to be numb.
Ignoring the reality in the world we live in,
To me that is an unforgivable sin.
Its unforgivable to me, ignoring the reality,
Its unforgivable to me, ignoring brutality
Its unforgivable to me, ignoring morality.
Its unforgivable to me, as its just plain irrationality.
Why aren't we helping other fight illness and disease,
Well were hoping to fit into a smaller pair of jeans.
Why don't we try and educate them, find out their needs,
Instead were too busy checking our news feeds.
Why don't we help them generate some income,
Instead were too busy trying to bag our next lump sum.
Why don't we help countries reach their development potential,
Instead were outside buying more non essentials. (LIKE TAMPONS HAHA)
Why don't we see this illnesses and disease,
imposes high cost burdens on these families,
If we help them generate some money,
It will help higher their life expectancy.
Categories:
tampons, abuse, allegory, anger, angst,
Form:
Rhyme
*Image of Toilet Issue by Pixabay.
Seating Arrangement
Notice Ladies and Gentlemen:
Please place the toilet seat down when
you're done, Thank You, The Management.
"Don't forget boys," said Evelyn.
The boys expressed their agreement
and routinely bid their consent,
"After you ladies," they stated,
but the girls sounded their dissent.
"Truly fair, reasoned we dated
yet some proof's appreciated,
so go on guys and indulge us,
and both will place as best rated."
First and then the other -- no fuss.
Guys smile at girl's thumbs-up, A+.
"Oh my gosh, where are the tampons!"
"Get some, there's nothing to discuss!"
"We'll be back!" "Who picked this place -- moms?"
They yelled, "Got some!" Piercing caroms
after they agreed to relish
the rest of the night at the proms!
2022 June 04
*1st Place*
Rubaiyat Contest
~~Sotto Poet: Judged 2022 June 13
HMS: 8 syllables per x 20 lines
RZ: RhymeScheme; a,a,b,a - b,b,c,b - c,c,d,c - d,d,e,d - e,e,f,e.
Categories:
tampons, analogy, celebration, teenage,
Form:
Rubaiyat
I watched the “news” this morning.
Chicken Little ran around squawking
Two women talked amiably after describing
scenes of horrific violence.
A homeless puppy was found
cared for and now needs a “forever” home.
Thousands called in looking to adopt it.
A homeless veteran was stepped over
in the entrance to a shelter
he/she was not cared for or allowed entrance.
Three kittens sang “Jingle Bells”
Chicken Little squawked a bit more
Climate change, global warming yadayada
The weather persons told me of storms
in the Midwest, floods in the south and
high temps in Arizona….
I had to look out my window
to get the weather report here.
The station manager made a Public Service Announcement.
Paraphrased : “If you’d all just do as you’re told
everything would be just fine”.
(the commercials were for Erectile disfunction, tampons,
birth control and condoms….oh….and childrens breakfast cereal))
John G. Lawless
1/4/2022
Categories:
tampons, america, betrayal, city, satire,
Form:
Free verse
So many men won't do it.
They have to hide their head.
If they must go...please let God know
he'd like to be struck dead.
Of course the store is crowded
It has to be that way...
How could this trip get any worse?
'Hey there! ' The neighbors say.
But if you only saw yourself
through other women's eyes,
you'd see a thoughtful, caring man
that fills their heart with sighs.
When a man can go buy tampons
and not care if he's seen,
he must be a true sweetheart....
or else SHE' S REALLY MEAN!
Categories:
tampons, family, friendship, funny, life,
Form:
I had different dreams once, but they’re still here;
They’re in the bathroom trash with the tampons and empty cigarette packs,
They’re splattered across the sink with his razor trimmings,
They lay across our bookshelves with the dust.
A hot sun goes down and the snow falls again.
Maybe new dreams settle a different scene;
A career cluttered on children’s toys,
A family smudged on an old greeting card.
Old dreams pile up, stale and in disrepair.
But there’s something else here;
It’s in the smashed Tupperware we use as dishes,
It’s there when we dance in the kitchen like cheesy TV couples,
It’s in the way he kisses like a child to make me laugh,
It’s our blanket when we love each other, in unique little ways
It’s in knowing that we’re going to fail time and again
and hate and be angry and love even more.
I had different dreams once, but they’re still here
Categories:
tampons, life, love, love,
Form:
Free verse
****! Her choices establish tragedies
The key that fosters felicity long since marred
But now she’s found the freedom she so passionately sought
It was gifted to her as a straight jacket
In the colour of her choice
Every evening she sleeps within such paraphernalia
As the solace pacifies her in classic tones
With the cushioning characterized as a mirror
Emulating the shape she has so flawlessly taken
Two years in the knapsack
And to your very eye I am the poster child
For used condoms and tampons
Am I not worth more than fish?
Categories:
tampons, lost love,
Form:
Verse
Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent
Deodorants,shampoo and strange new thoughts
The anxious adolescent in torment
Tampons,towels. skin care and defence
Confession, absolution, count for naught
Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent
Wet and dry the dreams are wryly bent
We wake confused from what we never sought
The anxious adolescent in torment
The virtues and the vices must be learnt
The will and the desire cannot be bought
Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent
Parents’ words our own strength can augment
But for the nervous, it is much too late
The anxious adolescent, the torment
“Civilised”. we might just kiss a date
Until we lose our heads and challenge fate
Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent
Poor adolescent in this mad torment
Categories:
tampons, analogy, angst, anxiety, confidence,
Form:
Villanelle
Texas Debate
State troopers are taking their tampons
Maxi pads – those that have wings
They’re afraid that some women might toss them
Along with some old girly things
You see congress out there in Texas
Is debating the meaning of life
Abortion and anti-abortion
Protests at the Capital’s rife
They fear for the Congressmen’s safety
They want to disarm violent ones
But Texans you know being Texans
Still allow them to bring in their guns
Uncle Mike
Categories:
tampons, political, social, society, women,
Form:
Rhyme
Most kids ride the school bus twice a day
School buses don't often have wood stoves
or beds you can sleep the night away
Ours did though
More than once I lived in one
Some painted like a forest some with a double bunk
I once dreamed I was falling then I landed with a thunk
crying, mom picked me up
After the rat house and after the yurt
in a grove of trees my sister explained
about tampons and why she had no dad
in the same double storied cabin
on top of the bus I later froze one night
because I didn't know there were more blankets
and my mom was down below.
I didn't know of any other life beside
the woods, the school and rising tide
of thought that grew within me, wondering
why I felt so angry of the differences I felt inside
Categories:
tampons, 1st grade, childhood,
Form:
Free verse