If I Were a Guy, I'D

If I were a guy…I’d…

Go on a hunt
Learn to punt
Fix my own brakes
Eat rare steaks
Sport long johns
Stomp on tampons
Start bar fights
Ignore red lights
Swing a big axe
Stare at huge racks
Pack a huge luger
Nail a rich cougar!

*For Frank's Contest
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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Inka Avatar
July 23, 2012 at 5:51 PM
I might be upset if it weren't spot on ......well maybe not the tampon stamping hahaha. Very funny. I LOL'ed.
A   Avatar
June 2, 2012 at 5:31 PM
he he, if you were a guy??? oh my,, your ending is funny,,, pd
Wesley Avatar
March 31, 2012 at 8:45 AM
What a guy you'd be Natalie, but you look better as you are. Has a great swing and will do well in the contest! Luv, Lizzie
Grisetti Avatar
March 22, 2012 at 3:26 PM
So cute - this made laugh. Best of luck inthe contest.
Dietrich Avatar
March 14, 2012 at 12:04 AM
this is SO GREAT. One of the better ones I've seen, and I love the one, stomp on tampons. Now THAT's the old GIRL coming out in you. Awesome last line. I hope you SCORE with THIS. Luv, Andrea
D. Avatar
March 13, 2012 at 5:59 AM
very funny write good luck in contest
Mister Roboto Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 11:05 PM
rock on...BeYonce'! I like these parts the best: Rare steaks, bar fights, huge racks, lugers The Pistole Parabellum 1908 or 9mm) and rich cougar bangin'...and just to be clear...umm I only like all of that stuff "POETICALLY Speaking"...In NO way, shape, or form do any of those amazing things, I mean stupid stuff appeal to me....umm yeh, That being said...I am a good, honest guy!~ oh, yeh, do u know of any rich cougars, b/c I have this friend, he, umm wanted me to ask you...:)
Cooper Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 2:50 PM
cute little poem Natalie, I love your style.
Flach Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Maybe a girl who becomes a guy would "stomp on tampons" but a guy would never get anywhere close to those things - they scare the hell out of us!! Very creative, witty and fun read. A sure winner in the contest. But, Natalie, if you were a guy, I'd give homosexuality a try! LOL Joe
Squyres Avatar
March 11, 2012 at 8:04 PM
I am laughing sooooooo hard !!! Love it !!
Bauer Avatar
March 11, 2012 at 7:34 PM
love it! "stomp on tampons" is hilarious! good luck in the contest - sounds like a winner to me!
Bunton Avatar
March 11, 2012 at 7:18 PM
Oh yes! Very Good!
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