If I Were a Guy Contest
If I were a guy
I’d actually enjoy wearing a suit and tie,
I wouldn’t feel uneasy about walking down a late night city street
And high heels would become obsolete,
I’d sleep an extra hour every day, never worrying about running late
For id have no more makeup and hair to prepare when I had to wake
I’d be pleasant four weeks out of the month instead of just two
With No more cramps and mood swings to attend too
Id saves money on tampons, Midol and all the many types of underwear
It would be lovely to take off my shirt on a beach and have no one care
I’d adore my mate, basically worship her, while being extremely nice
For I no longer would have to worry about births physical price
If I gained a few pounds I sure wouldn’t mind
Plenty of overweight men have women who are mighty fine
Statistically speaking I’d have a better chance at making more money
Even if I was an egotistically dummy
I would get to stand up when I pee
This would come in handy constantly!
No more worrying about a lack of tissues or dirty toilet seats,
I’d give my Sergeant a little shake with no concerns about a leak
Let’s not forget all the hours spent on shaving
That would be another time consuming cost in which id be saving
My friends would not complain wine and gossip constantly
If a fight broke out id forgive them and we would all just let it be
Going camping and fishing would be easier for grooming would be so simple
I wouldn’t freak out if I had a sudden pimple
Plastic surgery would not be a thought that ever ran through my mind
For the older a man gets the sexier and more refined
Wrinkles and gray hair makes him look sophisticated
Women see these features and become completely jaded
I'd rarely have to be bothered with perverts at any store,
The simplicity of my beautiful life I would be thankful for.
P.S However, I Love being a woman...
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