Best Spam Poems

Green eggs, Spam and grits
Sam and Pam had their fill,
Then made their way to Main Street
Down WhoDat’s Whatsup Hill.

Waived "Hi!" to their neighbors
To show them that they cared.
All smiled except two who
Just stood there and glared.

Hulu Q Hopps and
His shorter half-brother
They came from two pops...

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Keep your bacon, keep your ham
Keep your loganberry jam
No pastrami
No salami
In my sarnie I want Spam

Ain’t no bones, ain’t no brains
Ain’t no seeds, ain’t no grains
Slightly spicy
Tasty nicey
Spam ain’t got any veins

And the tin that it’s in
Kinda square, kinda thin
Ring pull lid
Key got rid
Spam don’t...

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One day, a convict got away, and went out on the lam.
And on the sly, he did buy, his very own kitchen cam.
Wanting to glow, in a reality show, though not a ham.
This jailbird, much preferred, to star in the Joy of Spam.


For Rhyme Battle...

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Checking all my emails is becoming quite a chore
my inbox piling up with offers I've never asked for
there's one here from a dating site that says I've got no friends
and one's a cure for balding and it also cures split ends
this latest one has got...

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Computer spam I really do abhor

   But tinned Spam I have an appetite for

      I liked it in the Army

         And never did it harm me

    ...

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"Proper Pam im-promiscuity carries a
tepid torch against the blank footlights
of a dimlit digital marital marquee---last on the 
billing of a car-null double featurette like
a black and white bijou plotless rerun
hand cranked by an arthritic arm;
pit pursuant of
quicksand lust with a gray gaze monotony
able to hitchhike...

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Sam ordered Spam, Spam,
Spam...Spam, Spam, Spam...eggs, sausage
and Spam for breakfast.

"Can I substitute
Spam for the sausage?" he asked
the Counter person.

"You want Spam, Spam, Spam...
Spam, Spam, Spam...eggs and Spam—and
Spam for the sausage?"

"I want Spam, Spam, Spam...
Spam, Spam, Spam...Spam, eggs, Spam...and
Spam instead of eggs."

"You want Spam, Spam, Spam...
Spam,...

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You do not want 'spam'
Place trust in your FireWall
It will screen for you...

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I keep getting spam emails
From Ms Fatale Attraction
Who is a bored housewife
Looking for some hot action
With a younger man, if poss
So if I keep receiving her siren-ing
I might just reply to her
Then I can send her my ironing...

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First thing I do is check the date
Good thru two thousand eighty five
Haven't had a can this fresh
Since Calvin Coolidge was alive

You can call it quirkiness
Each time I give the top a thump
Best way to tell if it's perfectly jelled
To the consistency that I love

If...

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LOOKING    AT   MY    SPAM


A guy with a busy-life like me has everything he could want, right at fingertips:
I can “stop snoring with a dentist-designed mouthpiece”
And can pay for it, after I “check  my credit rating on...

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Fancy spam emails
I don’t mind nor the ones
cobbled in broken English 

from someone who says
he’s with a bank overseas
and is holding money for me

if I will send a small token
to show my good faith.
No, the spam emails 

that bother me
are the ones that use
the names...

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SPAMming is now a way of life, 
eye just decided those people aer alive. 
When you delete SPAM messages they still survive. 
The people silly not the messages. 
I meant the silly people of course not ewe. 
Of course ewe dew survive. Now wait where...

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I love you and you love me!
Believer!
Where on earth should I now be?
Whenever.
I blocked cookies all my life
If you want one,ask my wife.
I eat spam, and google then
I begin all over again.
Whatever.
I ban websites for a living
But my lover's very forgiving;
Best man ever!
I eat splogs...

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It’s Tired of Spam I Am

By Elton Camp

And I’m not talking about the unhealthy treat
The one in a can that the taste is hard to beat

If I have to read another, I don’t know what to do
I am Mrs. Leech and God told me to...

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