Viv Wigley Poet Couplet

Spam

Checking all my emails is becoming quite a chore
my inbox piling up with offers I've never asked for
there's one here from a dating site that says I've got no friends
and one's a cure for balding and it also cures split ends
this latest one has got some nerve and left me really miffed
it claims that I am crap in bed and helps me to get stiff
the pop-up tablet advert claims I need to lose some weight
plus a free tub of some cream because my skin is in a state
Although I have deleted them I don't feel really mad
coz when I sit and think about it-
four out of five ain't bad............

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Keith Bickerstaffe December 22, 2015 at 10:05 PM I was expecting a poem about the mystery meat featured in the Monty Python sketch. However, this is muc better. Very slick 15-word lines and even slicker rhyming. '...it claims that I am crap in bed and helps to get me stiff,' LOVE IT! Well done Viv! Best wishes, Keith Keith Bickerstaffe December 23, 2015 at 12:11 AM Brits are past masters at self deprecation! K. Viv Wigley December 22, 2015 at 11:54 PM Thanks, Keith, it's my self deprecating humour that keeps me going.... Regards, Viv

Lindsay Laurie October 26, 2015 at 6:54 PM You read the spam Viv... crikey, I've been missing out and my delete button is worn out. I'm still thinking about which one is bad... thanks mate - Lindsay Viv Wigley October 26, 2015 at 11:08 PM ....but I never get any spam advertising guaranteed hangover cures. Now there's a potential goldmine... Thanks for dropping by, Lindsay. Regards, Viv

Tim Ryerson October 25, 2015 at 1:57 AM So I assume you don't need the tub of cream then Viv? Don't you want to have smooth, silky skin? This is absolutely HILARIOUS and what a twist at the end! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile... Viv Wigley October 25, 2015 at 2:38 AM Thanks, Tim, I also get spam emails for injury compensation, but they don't cover my pride......sniff....... Regards, Viv

Andrea Dietrich October 24, 2015 at 8:07 AM haha, your last part is a great twist! Very clever one! And thanks for checking out my sonnet. I think I have close to 300 now posted right here at Soup! Either Italian or English style. So I have lots of other examples for ya!! Let me go see YOUR sonnet now. Viv Wigley October 24, 2015 at 10:39 PM Thanks Andrea, I'll have to stop doing the twist, they've been getting a bit frequent recently . might put my back out. Viv x

Njeri Hunjeri October 23, 2015 at 10:57 AM Lol, this is funny. Those spam emails always have something.. Viv Wigley October 24, 2015 at 10:35 PM Thanks, njeri, glad you liked it, Viv x

James Inman October 23, 2015 at 8:19 AM Very clever and witty Viv. Viv Wigley October 24, 2015 at 10:33 PM Thanks, James. Remember the days before the internet when the only junk mail you got was from 'Readers digest'? Regards, Viv

Robert Lindley October 22, 2015 at 11:35 PM I shouldn't be laughing this close to midnight and me having lost so much sleep lately--but I did! Your wit is tops my friend! A7 Viv Wigley October 22, 2015 at 11:41 PM Thanks for dropping by, Robert, glad you liked it. Now, look into my eyes......you are feeling sleepy......very....very....sleepy.......

Richard Lamoureux October 22, 2015 at 8:27 AM Ha ha, this is the most fun I have had so far today! Viv Wigley October 22, 2015 at 4:58 PM I'm glad you got a little joy from my grief, Richard. Regards, Viv. P.s- would you like to buy some accident insurance, or a year's supply of golfing holiday discount vouchers?

Paul Callus October 21, 2015 at 2:45 PM Very witty, Viv! I have to agree with you...spam is bothersome, especially all those lovely young ladies professing their love:)) ~ Regards // paul Viv Wigley October 21, 2015 at 7:41 PM Yes Paul, those emails from Russian ladies wanting to meet me get deleted......eventually..... thanks for stopping by. Regards, Viv

Carrie Richards October 21, 2015 at 2:20 PM LOL !! Thanks for the laugh this morning!! I love this !!! (and isn't it the truth??) !!!! Viv Wigley October 21, 2015 at 7:44 PM I can't see you receiving any emails offering to make you look better, Carrie, there's no room for improvement. Viv x

Kp Nunez October 21, 2015 at 11:11 AM lol! Viv Wigley October 21, 2015 at 7:47 PM If I take out any more insurance, Kim, I might die of poverty :). Anyway, as for needing wrinkle cream I'm not bothered- as my dad used to say 'Just because a grape is wrinkled, doesn't mean you can't still eat it'. Viv x Viv Wigley October 21, 2015 at 12:07 PM ...the latest spam was for funeral plans. Aint that cheery? Thanks for dropping by, Kim, hope you're well. Viv x

CayCay Godwin October 21, 2015 at 9:27 AM Oh, my goodness - clever and I certainly laughed out loud. Fun ... CayCay Viv Wigley October 21, 2015 at 12:06 PM Told you I'd give you a break from reaching for the box of tissues, CayCay. Viv x

Jan Allison October 21, 2015 at 7:46 AM ha ha ha love your humour Mr Viv :-) which is the one you're not admitting to lol hugs jan xx Viv Wigley October 21, 2015 at 7:51 AM will let you know when I've made an anagram out of 'bald wrinkled todger' x