Notes About The Poem

Spam

Checking all my emails is becoming quite a chore
my inbox piling up with offers I've never asked for
there's one here from a dating site that says I've got no friends
and one's a cure for balding and it also cures split ends
this latest one has got some nerve and left me really miffed
it claims that I am crap in bed and helps me to get stiff
the pop-up tablet advert claims I need to lose some weight
plus a free tub of some cream because my skin is in a state
Although I have deleted them I don't feel really mad
coz when I sit and think about it-
four out of five ain't bad............

humorcouplet

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Keith Bickerstaffe

Date: 12/22/2015 10:05:00 PM

I was expecting a poem about the mystery meat featured in the Monty Python sketch. However, this is muc better. Very slick 15-word lines and even slicker rhyming. '...it claims that I am crap in bed and helps to get me stiff,' LOVE IT! Well done Viv! Best wishes, Keith

Keith Bickerstaffe
Date: 12/23/2015 12:11:00 AM

Brits are past masters at self deprecation! K.

Viv Wigley
Date: 12/22/2015 11:54:00 PM

Thanks, Keith, it's my self deprecating humour that keeps me going.... Regards, Viv

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 10/26/2015 6:54:00 PM

You read the spam Viv... crikey, I've been missing out and my delete button is worn out. I'm still thinking about which one is bad... thanks mate - Lindsay

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/26/2015 11:08:00 PM

....but I never get any spam advertising guaranteed hangover cures. Now there's a potential goldmine... Thanks for dropping by, Lindsay. Regards, Viv

Tim Ryerson

Date: 10/25/2015 1:57:00 AM

So I assume you don't need the tub of cream then Viv? Don't you want to have smooth, silky skin? This is absolutely HILARIOUS and what a twist at the end! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile...

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/25/2015 2:38:00 AM

Thanks, Tim, I also get spam emails for injury compensation, but they don't cover my pride......sniff....... Regards, Viv

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/24/2015 8:07:00 AM

haha, your last part is a great twist! Very clever one! And thanks for checking out my sonnet. I think I have close to 300 now posted right here at Soup! Either Italian or English style. So I have lots of other examples for ya!! Let me go see YOUR sonnet now.

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/24/2015 10:39:00 PM

Thanks Andrea, I'll have to stop doing the twist, they've been getting a bit frequent recently . might put my back out. Viv x

Njeri Hunjeri

Date: 10/23/2015 10:57:00 AM

Lol, this is funny. Those spam emails always have something..

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/24/2015 10:35:00 PM

Thanks, njeri, glad you liked it, Viv x

James Inman

Date: 10/23/2015 8:19:00 AM

Very clever and witty Viv.

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/24/2015 10:33:00 PM

Thanks, James. Remember the days before the internet when the only junk mail you got was from 'Readers digest'? Regards, Viv

Robert Lindley

Date: 10/22/2015 11:35:00 PM

I shouldn't be laughing this close to midnight and me having lost so much sleep lately--but I did! Your wit is tops my friend! A7

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/22/2015 11:41:00 PM

Thanks for dropping by, Robert, glad you liked it. Now, look into my eyes......you are feeling sleepy......very....very....sleepy.......

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 10/22/2015 8:27:00 AM

Ha ha, this is the most fun I have had so far today!

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/22/2015 4:58:00 PM

I'm glad you got a little joy from my grief, Richard. Regards, Viv. P.s- would you like to buy some accident insurance, or a year's supply of golfing holiday discount vouchers?

Paul Callus

Date: 10/21/2015 2:45:00 PM

Very witty, Viv! I have to agree with you...spam is bothersome, especially all those lovely young ladies professing their love:)) ~ Regards // paul

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 7:41:00 PM

Yes Paul, those emails from Russian ladies wanting to meet me get deleted......eventually..... thanks for stopping by. Regards, Viv

Carrie Richards

Date: 10/21/2015 2:20:00 PM

LOL !! Thanks for the laugh this morning!! I love this !!! (and isn't it the truth??) !!!!

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 7:44:00 PM

I can't see you receiving any emails offering to make you look better, Carrie, there's no room for improvement. Viv x

Kp Nunez

Date: 10/21/2015 11:11:00 AM

lol!

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 7:47:00 PM

If I take out any more insurance, Kim, I might die of poverty :). Anyway, as for needing wrinkle cream I'm not bothered- as my dad used to say 'Just because a grape is wrinkled, doesn't mean you can't still eat it'. Viv x

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 12:07:00 PM

...the latest spam was for funeral plans. Aint that cheery? Thanks for dropping by, Kim, hope you're well. Viv x