Home » Poems » Viv Wigley » Spam

Spam

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Viv Wigley.

Checking all my emails is becoming quite a chore my inbox piling up with offers I've never asked for there's one here from a dating site that says I've got no friends and one's a cure for balding and it also cures split ends this latest one has got some nerve and left me really miffed it claims that I am crap in bed and helps me to get stiff the pop-up tablet advert claims I need to lose some weight plus a free tub of some cream because my skin is in a state Although I have deleted them I don't feel really mad coz when I sit and think about it- four out of five ain't bad............

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Keith Bickerstaffe

Date: 12/22/2015 10:05:00 PM

I was expecting a poem about the mystery meat featured in the Monty Python sketch. However, this is muc better. Very slick 15-word lines and even slicker rhyming. '...it claims that I am crap in bed and helps to get me stiff,' LOVE IT! Well done Viv! Best wishes, Keith

Keith Bickerstaffe
Date: 12/23/2015 12:11:00 AM

Brits are past masters at self deprecation! K.

Viv Wigley
Date: 12/22/2015 11:54:00 PM

Thanks, Keith, it's my self deprecating humour that keeps me going.... Regards, Viv

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 10/26/2015 6:54:00 PM

You read the spam Viv... crikey, I've been missing out and my delete button is worn out. I'm still thinking about which one is bad... thanks mate - Lindsay

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/26/2015 11:08:00 PM

....but I never get any spam advertising guaranteed hangover cures. Now there's a potential goldmine... Thanks for dropping by, Lindsay. Regards, Viv

Tim Ryerson

Date: 10/25/2015 1:57:00 AM

So I assume you don't need the tub of cream then Viv? Don't you want to have smooth, silky skin? This is absolutely HILARIOUS and what a twist at the end! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile...

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/25/2015 2:38:00 AM

Thanks, Tim, I also get spam emails for injury compensation, but they don't cover my pride......sniff....... Regards, Viv

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/24/2015 8:07:00 AM

haha, your last part is a great twist! Very clever one! And thanks for checking out my sonnet. I think I have close to 300 now posted right here at Soup! Either Italian or English style. So I have lots of other examples for ya!! Let me go see YOUR sonnet now.

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/24/2015 10:39:00 PM

Thanks Andrea, I'll have to stop doing the twist, they've been getting a bit frequent recently . might put my back out. Viv x

Njeri Hunjeri

Date: 10/23/2015 10:57:00 AM

Lol, this is funny. Those spam emails always have something..

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/24/2015 10:35:00 PM

Thanks, njeri, glad you liked it, Viv x

James Inman

Date: 10/23/2015 8:19:00 AM

Very clever and witty Viv.

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/24/2015 10:33:00 PM

Thanks, James. Remember the days before the internet when the only junk mail you got was from 'Readers digest'? Regards, Viv

Robert Lindley

Date: 10/22/2015 11:35:00 PM

I shouldn't be laughing this close to midnight and me having lost so much sleep lately--but I did! Your wit is tops my friend! A7

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/22/2015 11:41:00 PM

Thanks for dropping by, Robert, glad you liked it. Now, look into my eyes......you are feeling sleepy......very....very....sleepy.......

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 10/22/2015 8:27:00 AM

Ha ha, this is the most fun I have had so far today!

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/22/2015 4:58:00 PM

I'm glad you got a little joy from my grief, Richard. Regards, Viv. P.s- would you like to buy some accident insurance, or a year's supply of golfing holiday discount vouchers?

Paul Callus

Date: 10/21/2015 2:45:00 PM

Very witty, Viv! I have to agree with you...spam is bothersome, especially all those lovely young ladies professing their love:)) ~ Regards // paul

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 7:41:00 PM

Yes Paul, those emails from Russian ladies wanting to meet me get deleted......eventually..... thanks for stopping by. Regards, Viv

Carrie Richards

Date: 10/21/2015 2:20:00 PM

LOL !! Thanks for the laugh this morning!! I love this !!! (and isn't it the truth??) !!!!

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 7:44:00 PM

I can't see you receiving any emails offering to make you look better, Carrie, there's no room for improvement. Viv x

Kp Nunez

Date: 10/21/2015 11:11:00 AM

lol!

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 7:47:00 PM

If I take out any more insurance, Kim, I might die of poverty :). Anyway, as for needing wrinkle cream I'm not bothered- as my dad used to say 'Just because a grape is wrinkled, doesn't mean you can't still eat it'. Viv x

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 12:07:00 PM

...the latest spam was for funeral plans. Aint that cheery? Thanks for dropping by, Kim, hope you're well. Viv x

CayCay Jennings

Date: 10/21/2015 9:27:00 AM

Oh, my goodness - clever and I certainly laughed out loud. Fun ... CayCay

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 12:06:00 PM

Told you I'd give you a break from reaching for the box of tissues, CayCay. Viv x

Jan Allison

Date: 10/21/2015 7:46:00 AM

ha ha ha love your humour Mr Viv :-) which is the one you're not admitting to lol hugs jan xx

Viv Wigley
Date: 10/21/2015 7:51:00 AM

will let you know when I've made an anagram out of 'bald wrinkled todger' x