Best Slap Poems

In the bright sunlight
Bold with such tenacity
A Mosquito bites...

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You say that you're my biggest fan
then you try to take my man
throwing out your demand
but ya gotta understand
he ain't buyin' no weak swing
he ain't fallin' for your tweak thing
Imma step up and show ya now
Its gonna real raw and how
I'm not gonna step back
I'm...

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Everybody’s seen it
And discussed it to no end,
Wondering what repercussions
It may yet portend.

But to have a welcome chuckle,
Go check out James Corden’s song.
If will guarantee a grin and likely,
You will sing along.

For the writer took the Bruno tune,
Which most of us now know,
And just substituted...

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~ SLAP the POET ~

First, you come to splat my baby SKAT!
Now I'm gonna give you a slap like this and that.

You call yourself, Doc the Poet & Notorious FLIRT.
OUCH! Doc, being you must really hurt.

Thank you for waking me from my cat nap.
Now it's...

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Just a cold, hard slap in the face
Is Daylight Savings Time to morning place

Winter’s drive is dark and cold
Headlights searching for deer in the road

But March brings the sun like golden ripe fruit
To brighten my chores and morning commute

For just a while I pretend it...

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He’s sorry and wished it undone
But dad’s home—there’s no where to run  
The spanking's intense
Father never relents        
And imprints his hands on his son...

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salt water face slap
the best wake up call ever
feeling mighty good!...

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A new sheriff in town named Shaw
 Came to get rid of an outlaw
 They would slap leather soon
 Around the time of noon
  Sheriff was faster on the draw!

 5-3-2022...

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Goodness knows the greed involved
Unwilling to admit, unable to proceed
Life on this fragile rock totters
For we have never fouled the nest like this
 
Oceanic trauma, on a voyage, east then north
Ice, blue-clean, beauty, dead before the march of black gold
Listing heavily to one side, we're...

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There are days like these when life patently doesn't come easy
like peas and carrots, tea and biscuits, moonshine & sun's resign,
more so resembling ill-assorted poked chocolates' wrongdoing of
dissemblance discombobulating conceivability mid hokey designed
disorderliness, inasmuch mute poetry impatiently awaiting lavishly
gifted muse's breathlessness to transform convoluted unreasonable
fractals...

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Saw my dear Dr. Kimberly this afternoon
She noticed I wasn't chipper like a Bugs Bunny cartoon
A trifle depressed
A weight on my chest
Even this slap happy pappy is not immune


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Slap and Tickle
Of slap and tickle, for the fickle,
beyond the hollows of the knees,
the lovers game quite insane,
where cast she is upon my knee,

her cheeks so red a game instead,
gentle slaps so frequently.
The fingers dip, and sometimes slip,
the mound is wet with estacy,

as lovers do,...

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waterfall from skies compete with my thoughts
must be doing something else,
yet here I am, 

Here. I am.
Again.

Why do I keep coming back here?!?

A mental shake, 
as I chastise myself
 I shouldn't be here, don't belong here anymore.
Most likely, I never did, just pushed myself in...

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they are saying that Che was sociopath
well which normal person
would involve herself  in
effort to save humanity from itself

they are trying to kill the person when they can't kill idea

guess what you bigots
Jesus wasn't innocent either
he had a wife
lets crucify him

again...

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It’s when you don't have
the money for a hit man.
And you know something
needs to be done.
If you have a hot date
and your boss asked you
to work late.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass!

The whoop ass delivery Service,
We will deliver a can of whup ass
anywhere to anyone at...

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