Best Self Important Poems


Premium Member In the Bed They Make

And when will the tides turn against confident indifference?!

When will humanity cease
To throw cats against curiosity’s silver coated dagger

Another played out song
Another dramatic lyric
Shifting embellished overtones
With deteriorating tact

They spit posthumous awakenings
As divinity laced smiles, wither under a convoluted moon
Shedding retina waterfalls
Misunderstood

Pretentious anger becomes Aphrodite mediocrity
Wisdom, they never “put out”

Crippled tears
Become self-important struts within olive tinted reckonings

Lambasted butterflies
Stirring hornets’ nest
Uninvited

They dream for better days
While double-knotting gang colored bandanas
On eagle’s achromatic foreheads

Another Woody Woodpecker band-aid pulled from condescending hypocrisies

…

And when will the tides turn against pilot light’s mal-intent?

When will the flinty sheep 
Stop wondering how these charring, orange fires began

Forgetting the 115 octane gasoline can
They hold quietly in their hands

©Drake J. Eszes

Premium Member All Stand

All Stand

Here comes the President, of Our land, Our Nation. 
He is tall and smart, and speaks from the heart. 
Not always nicely. 
Not everyone hears him, some wish he would be quiet. 
Not everyone likes him, some wish he would resign. 

I don’t care. 
I dare.
I voted for him, because “they” were against America. 
It does not matter which party I am. 

I don’t care. 
I dare. 
I voted for him, because “they” were against America.
“they made that clear then… and now…”
(they held their hands up as one… I watched the debates…
I was horrified, as none stood for the Citizen’s of Our Land, not one)

I watched closely as the mid term’s provided bugs to eat the capital.
I stared at the screens of fake news while they built houses of lies, 
neighborhoods of deceit, and unrest among the populace.
Great people in power pouring their gray water into the public drinking system…
That we may all feel so self important, as to now see …
Evil in fancy dress, living in castles on hills surrounded by poverty and disease. 
(the return of the dark ages) 
The sign post up ahead, “Welcome home.” 

I found out the last guy left a mess. 
No surprise…
Words like swamp have been around for years, so have the alligators.
Deals done in the dark, between offices representing all of us,
to steal gain, for self worth. Family fortunes, 
made on the backs of peasants, 
whose hopes and dreams were for a better tomorrow. (for all)
No surprise…

America the beautiful, the land of plenty, “In God We Trust”. 
Everyone wants to come here. 
(including the socialists and communists
and all those that hate her for their own personal reasons)
But so many instill fear.
We don’t want you…here.
Beware. 
“WE” do care!
“We” will dare.
To stand up, stand for and stand against. 
To have... upheld, to uphold and to; 
hand down, hand shake or shake up…
anyone and everyone that try’s to stop…
Our President. 

God Bless him, I voted for… 
quit trying to impeach him, 
he is doing the job.
© Ann Foster  Create an image from this poem.

love is all you need

Don't by me designer clothes, don't give me precious stones, don't need none of that. Take me for a walk on the beach by the cove. I want to feel the rocks beneath my toes.

Don't want to live in a mansion where fake people dwell. 
Don't want to rent the penthouse in some fancy hotel. 

Build me a shack that has a big wooden beam. 
With a large front porch by a flowing stream.

Make me a hammock swinging from a tree. 
We will lay in it together just you and me.

Don't want to eat in exclusive restaurants where I cant be myself. 
filled with self – important people flaunting their wealth.

Lets sit on a blanket and eat under a shady tree.
Where time is not our master and we can be who we want to be.

Don't want to go  shopping in luxury boutiques
Don't want to walk the streets of Champs -Elysees

Don't need no possessions to make me feel good.
Sit me amongst the wild flowers in some over grown wood.

Don't need anyone's approval, don't need to impress
Don't need my nails done don't need no fancy dress.

All the money in the world doesn't make you rich, don't you see,
love is all you need, and its within you and me.


The Infamous Scottish Muse

The time has come your passing has happened 
Your desire to live was never dampened 
The great Scottish debate for you to stay or go
I screamed yes, but the haggis of your heart said no 

The split of our nation represents the split in my heart
But now the time has come and we must part
Much like our dreams of reaching the sixth form debate final

“Page 32” you crowbarred into conversation
infuriating Ash to the point of self-immolation
your self important boasts of superior knowledge 
turned my my weakened soul into watery porridge 

You were not a stereotype, despite what many said
Unlike most Scots, you ate more than simply fried bread
Your challenge with crackers so lascivious  that I lost my thread
And since then I yearned for a way to do more than simple observe your bed

But your aggression was endearing, cutting and clear
Tearing opponents to shreds, speaking to all that will hear
But I was behind a glass wall, simply shedding a tear
As a limp invitation to a party was the closest I could near

I sit here now and remember our lark
Our time together, characterized by a battle with a shark
The verbal brutality was shocking that situation was stark
But your retorts were quick witted, but often loaded with snark

This took so long to write as my heart still bares scars
An open mouth like yours could give hour long seminars
Yet you still saved me from being bundled into one of Bennet’s cars
Yet I must hope that we meet again, underneath heaven’s stars
© Tom Hyam  Create an image from this poem.

Fruity Voice

FRUITY      VOICE


Her voice reminds me of laughter barely suppressed
An energetic spirit tugging constantly at  the rope
A caterpillar turning to butterfly at any moment
Her  voice sounds like lifegiving fruit

Not serious, self-important fruit like geometrically precise pineapples
Or pompous, overfed watermelons
Too heavy to lift

Not business fruit like apples, on duty keeping doctors away
Or bananas waiting to do their slippery work under feet
Or blackberries, whose careers lie in jam

But mischievous fruit like grapes or cherries
Which roll away like playful children when you’re not looking
Or fallen raisins on the carpet pretending to be part of the pattern

Fun-loving fruit like mandarin oranges around the Christmas tree
Basking under the Christmas lights, enjoying the glitter
Of tinsel and the smell of pine needles

Small fruits which enjoy life,
Laughing as they jostle each other in their bag,
And which could easily become   bubbly wine  if tempted.

Her ripened voice -   
The spontaneous fruit of a lifetime 
Of growth and maturing, and regeneration :
Aliment  for  my  soul’s  ailment.

Spicy- Oh So Annoying

Enjoying a placid lake, so quiet
Fox trotting, sniffing the ground-
   Then a loud, shrill scream of a
spoiled child.

Serene path, I walk as the guest of light breeze,
hand in hand strolling with my love
   Then clouds burst into a sprawling
northern freeze.

Dirty snow, a rude employee, greedy people taking 
what they please.
   Liars, tall talers, lying for no need
Satisfied grunt of one who pays
no others heed.

A cruel hand bashing the weak
Evil words one so disregardingly speaks.
   As with the  offender, it is trouble 
he always seeks

Leaving work from such a long day 
pleased to relax my way
    A homeless, skeletal man asking
for some change- the pity
Turned my thoughts gray

Snap your fingers, get it done quick!
Threats of any kind make me sick
   A long drive just to get away Pitch and tent
and the ants come to play!

Racism, sexism, and ignorance 
for no reason
       This is not just annoying
And never changes with the season.

Those who take for granted
the love of family so readily given
    Treating therm so terrible
 Spoiled, rotten smart- mouthed
so selfishly driven

Sentient redwoods slain
Numerous bretheren of  the 
   endangered nature die in vain.

These are a few things that annoy me-
Self important people  smiling in that
bleach white grin-
   For ever sneaking and canniving
under that sh++ eating grin.
© Amy Green  Create an image from this poem.


Premium Member Time of Departure

It’s a masquerade
A chaotic, hopeless mass
Imprisoned by choice
Waiting on a plane
Some are there on business
Others vacations
Some to bury the dead
But everyone is important
And everyone is someone
First class, business class, no class
We are all self-important
And thus meaningful
We need this validation
Otherwise we are just people
Like everyone else
But all of us have the same destination
We are just taking different flights
In the end we all end up with nothing
But an estimated time of departure.

Premium Member Her Nibs

Day in, and day out, from the ripe old age of five
I’ve take to sharp objects and whittled at their sides.

Plotting the precise angle with penetrating gaze,
the slant of slice, just so nice, as memory replays.

With curt tongue and tireless ire, I shred the sages
Burroughs, and Asimov, the Shakespeare past ages.

Butchering with rare delight, the language on the page
lancing every metaphor and simile upstaged.

and so I've arrived her in rhythm and in rhyme  
killing the English language as other people dine.





*Nibbs are the pointed ends of fountain pens
as well as being an important or self-important person

Apparently My Poetry Is a Pile of Bourgeois Crap

With a mag called POETRY, I spent time
Hoping to find verses sublime and sage
And for all I read, not two words that rhymed
Just chopped up prose splayed all over the page.

This left me just a little bit perplexed
So I decided to investigate
What I did find on Google left me vexed.
It seems that rhyming is so out of date!

Some academics, who think they could note
A cultural conservative leaning
By meter and rhyme: For whom I would vote
An implicit Bourgeois type of meaning!

To which I exclaimed out loud, “Shucky gee,”
‘Tis such a shameful verbal undressing.
The poems that I write are not P.C.?
Imagine the poor folks I’m oppressing!

perhaps if I wrote a bunch of random
                                                                                          words
                                  and arranged them 
                                                bizarrely
                                             on the page and didn’t
                                                                     capitalize
and ensured a total lack of rhyme or rhythm
then, then some establishment of
                                                                   Persuns
                who make their living criticizing other people’s writings
                                                               and maybe even write themselves
                           would call it poetry?
     I thought the idea here was to communicate?
                                  How naive!

Oh the stuffiness
Self-important silliness
Such puffiness
Self-conscious no-frilliness

Whoops! I hate when I do that.  Such a chump!
Breaking into rhyme like a “middlebrow.”
Kneeling at the poetic shrine of Trump.
Please, Mr. Self-important, show me how!

My thoughts on this are as follows: Bollocks!
This steaming pile of misinformation,
Your verbal equal of Jackson Pollock,
My heart’s best means of communication?

I want to have the “right” feelings and thoughts
And express them just like all you smarties.
Sans emperor’s new clothes, I have been caught
May I go to your frankfurter party?

3/11/16

Premium Member Xenophobia

“Prejudice wears a variety of hats, none of them becoming.”
~ Kevin Ansbro

Is it fear or is it hatred
Of a stranger, the unknown
The premise that the unworthy
Could deprive you of your throne?

Is it feeling self-important 
With a right to underrate
Foreign people with behaviour 
Prone to sow the seeds of hate?

Selfish, haughty, prejudicial
Are the stickers on your back. 
Do your customs and religion
Make you special? What the heck! 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Words with ‘X’ - Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Constance La France
      Placed 3rd
© 28th April 2023

Where Is

Where Is?


I read in poems and stories 
Where is bliss
Answer found in school class and in friends
Requires to speak with 

A maturity of belief 
And a source of love to each
Dramatically I rode towards age shadowing each

Incarnation of value to all
Never found jutted
In rich culture of trust and for sheltered beings

Wind wished to touch sky high
Forgetting self important for earth
Meteors hurled countless down towards earth

Silent cries were dipping down
Through the light of fire woods
Black out were silencing all in the queues of death

Neither miracle nor failure project
Unsuccessful dialogues were sinking 
Hopes have suicide through the sip of leader's gulp

A message of success 
Ill references were carrying signals
Diurnals were clouded nocturnals were facing late

Lives of the corpses were in line for burn
civilization of dilapidated towns
Places for weeds and for new concrete born

Where is jam in the road of oil seekers
To run ease lives of children 
Expiry medicines fainted waiting in friends' blockade

Odd culture and lame adm.. describes 
Venture of the day with ink-less pen
A mail of voice blows in the evening screen

Where is my right and entity?
One octogenarian throated in loaded vehicle
Youths have occupied his seniority sitting heartless.

Snaggletooth the Snitch

We (me and the missus)
live in a decent
accommodations low income
quite modest rent,
which facility lacks no shortage
of gossip mongers

with mail delivery the major event
many old people smelling of unguent
faux superman thumping chests nsync
with hooking thumbs around
suspenders feigning to be affluent,
and self important as former

triple secret double agent
yeah, minus the snitches,
the one bedroom apartment
at highland manor ranks
as most satisfactory ascent
to appease our taste, and

general environmental ambient
aspects compared to other
housing situations of ours
so, despite most every nosy, ancient
snooty, hoity toity...tenant,
particularly one butch herd gal

with a cock eyed louey, facial accent
a perfect spectacle for circus big-tent
single bucked sharp front tooth
sparkles, mocks, glistens...
as if brushed with Pepsodent
of course displayed "FAKE"

seventh heaven-sent
friendliness, when poor us
near being penniless with only tencent
experienced a warm welcome
a short time after moving here
but demeanor thereafter went

postal - stamp ping like the dickens
as if yours truly an unrepentant
sin nurse stir jokester,
nonetheless  minds hateful words adamant
lee averse to cast aspersions,
cuz a friendly gesture linkedin
with my preference to be cogent

practicing what this atheist doth silent
lee preach, sans attempt tubby tolerant
in the face of someone belligerent
attentive to mine credo, dogma, ethos...
while alive in this world be tolerant
of others, whether he/ she wuzzent
pleasant still recalling days of yore,

I felt disgusted with myself when hell-bent
to hurl expletives (adding insult to injury)
if somebody bad mouthed me,
thus object lesson not requiring fervent
fanatical religious fervor
plus gluten free and NON GMO
improving health of Clark Kent.

Premium Member Comments On Crooked Politicians

Empty promises waft effortlessly through the air
The vacuous bleating of self-important bloviators,
Who claim the best interests of the noble citizenry
Uppermost in their clever, plotting minds who dare

To seek approval from the greater masses at the polls,
While thinly disguising their not-so-quixotic intentions.
Such troublesome breaches in the breastwork
Of liberty, these mischievous self-indulgent trolls

Who feed from the public troughs.  Even better,
They claim to do what is right for their constituencies,
And call themselves names like honorable civil servant
Purporting to faithfully execute oaths to the letter

Of the law.  I think such is seldom the case, at all, since
They have made for themselves careers of chicanery.
Empty promises -- no more than carefully crafted lies
Cause the skeptical, intelligent folk to wince.

SECOND PLACE WINNER
Written November, 2020
Submitted to "A Meaningful Poem" Contest
Sponsored by Constance La France

I

I,
A solitary expression of monumental proportions,
The sum of all parts with extra to spare,
The word and the meaning at once,
Selfish and lonely,
I,
When it's me, I am everything,
When it's you, I don't care,
All for one, and one for one,
The cart before the horse,
I,
Self-reliance, self-sufficient,
Self-effacing, self-indulgent,
Self-absorbed, self-righteous,
Self-made, self-important,
But without you,
I don't exist.

(7/28/92)

The Abc's of Politics (For Better Or Words)

The ABC's of Politics (For Better or Words)
(SMILE!  They aren’t misspelled.)

Aboulomania.  Bahadur.  Caducity.  Dapatical.  Ecmnesia.  Fabulist.  Gerrymander.  
Highbinder.  Ideopraxist.  Jobbery.  Kakistocracy.  Lucripetous.  Malversation.  Nomocracy.  
Obrogate.  Papyrocracy.  Quadrennium.  Raconteur.  Satisdation.  Talliate. 	
Unconsentaneous.  Vacillate.  Wondermonger. Xenogenous. Yare. Zabernism.

That's Today's Politics Just for You!
Dictionary Reference: http://phrontistery.info/a.html
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The ABC’s of Politics (For Better and Words) 

A-- aboulomania    (pathological indecisiveness)
B-- bahadur 	(self-important official) 
C-- caducity	(being of a transitory or impermanent nature)  
D-- dapatical 	(lavish; sumptuous; costly)
E--ecmnesia 	(loss of memory of the events of a specific period)
F-- fabulist 	(one who invents fables)
G – gerrymander    (to divide electoral districts for one's own political gain)
H – highbinder  (scheming or corrupt politician)
I-- ideopraxist 	(one who is impelled to carry out an idea)
J-- jobbery (the conduct of public business for private gain.)  
K-- kakistocracy   (government by the worst)
L-- lucripetous  (eager for gain)
M--malversation (corruption in office; corrupt administration; misconduct)
N-- nomocracy  (government based on legal system; rule of law)
O-- obrogate 	(to alter the law by passing a new law)
P-- papyrocracy  (government by newspapers or literature)
Q— quadrennium (period of four years)
R-- raconteur 	teller of anecdotes
S-- satisdation	provision of security  
T-- talliate 	to impose a tax
U-- unconsentaneous 	not in agreement
V— vacillate 	fluctuate in opinion or resolution  venal 
W—wondermonger (one who promises miracles)
X—xenogenous (due to an outside cause)
Y-- yare (marked by quickness and agility; nimble; prepared; easily)
Z-- zabernism (misuse of military authority; bullying)


Did you like the joke?  Please go to the Narrative Version, next.

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